Suffering Anxiety

[gimmie11s]

LMFAO^^

 

[gimmie11s]

Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Here's the problem, at least for me. If you're familiar with Myers-Briggs, I'm an INTJ which means I'm an introverted thinker. I deliberate, and think before speaking. Most people conflate that with boring, not fun, aloof, shy, quiet, etc.. Do you ever hear anyone say they want to meet somebody who's quiet, or not outgoing? Nah....me neither.

Furthermore, I live alone. I have no friends who live any closer than about 2.5 hours away. So, in order for me to NOT be alone, I'd have to go out by myself with the sole intent of meeting new people or making new friends. The problem is, to me, being around a bunch of people I don't know, trying to converse or make small talk with them, causes more anxiety than being alone. I can't even tell you how uncomfortable it is for me, trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger, or pretend like I care. In other words, to break the cycle, I have to be somebody I'm not.

I've heard people say you have to "fake it 'til you make it". But doesn't everyone always complain about fake people? How are you supposed to get to know someone based on a fake personality? I can't do that.

Anyhow, didn't mean to derail the thread with a bunch of whining. Carry on.

There is a lot to unpack here and I can relate. I am introverted naturally also and have similar "feelings" in large groups of people I don't know.

My work experience, and age, has allowed me to "grow out" of this to an extent. As a young manager of 50+ year old Teamsters, I had to give meetings in front of groups of those guys of 60+ members or more. That shit SUCKED as a young 20-somehting kid right out of college.

Had to do it though and "face that fear" if you will. Oddly, after a few years of it, I got good at it and, dare I say, started to almost enjoy presenting to them.

This was definitely a "character building" piece of my life that I wouldn't trade for anything. It made me a better person and a better Mgr. Early on, to say I was anxious getting in front of those people would be a gross understatement. Im now better having gone through that.

Ive also had Sales responsibility in a lot of my career which had a similar effect regarding the social "group" settings you mention. Still not my cup of tea even today, but now im apt enough to do what I need to do in groups and "fake it", if you will, long enough to where I actually get to know someone and somewhat enjoy the conversation.

 

[98 svt]

Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Here's the problem, at least for me. If you're familiar with Myers-Briggs, I'm an INTJ which means I'm an introverted thinker. I deliberate, and think before speaking. Most people conflate that with boring, not fun, aloof, shy, quiet, etc.. Do you ever hear anyone say they want to meet somebody who's quiet, or not outgoing? Nah....me neither.

Furthermore, I live alone. I have no friends who live any closer than about 2.5 hours away. So, in order for me to NOT be alone, I'd have to go out by myself with the sole intent of meeting new people or making new friends. The problem is, to me, being around a bunch of people I don't know, trying to converse or make small talk with them, causes more anxiety than being alone. I can't even tell you how uncomfortable it is for me, trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger, or pretend like I care. In other words, to break the cycle, I have to be somebody I'm not.

I've heard people say you have to "fake it 'til you make it". But doesn't everyone always complain about fake people? How are you supposed to get to know someone based on a fake personality? I can't do that.

Anyhow, didn't mean to derail the thread with a bunch of whining. Carry on.

Sorry to make it seem worse, but that sounds terrible.
There have to be some fellow SVTPers closer than 2.5 hours away. None of them seem to be a match for a friendship or 2?
Hell if I was closer, I'd come visit you.

 

[Revvv]

Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Here's the problem, at least for me. If you're familiar with Myers-Briggs, I'm an INTJ which means I'm an introverted thinker. I deliberate, and think before speaking. Most people conflate that with boring, not fun, aloof, shy, quiet, etc.. Do you ever hear anyone say they want to meet somebody who's quiet, or not outgoing? Nah....me neither.

Furthermore, I live alone. I have no friends who live any closer than about 2.5 hours away. So, in order for me to NOT be alone, I'd have to go out by myself with the sole intent of meeting new people or making new friends. The problem is, to me, being around a bunch of people I don't know, trying to converse or make small talk with them, causes more anxiety than being alone. I can't even tell you how uncomfortable it is for me, trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger, or pretend like I care. In other words, to break the cycle, I have to be somebody I'm not.

I've heard people say you have to "fake it 'til you make it". But doesn't everyone always complain about fake people? How are you supposed to get to know someone based on a fake personality? I can't do that.

Anyhow, didn't mean to derail the thread with a bunch of whining. Carry on.

That's not whining. You know your personality. You know who you are. That is a greater step forward, and more knowledge than most have.

Sent from my [mind] using the svtperformance.com mobile app

 

[Revvv]

Sorry to make it seem worse, but that sounds terrible.
There have to be some fellow SVTPers closer than 2.5 hours away. None of them seem to be a match for a friendship or 2?
Hell if I was closer, I'd come visit you.

I enjoy meeting SVTP members. Unfortunately you guys are scattered around the Country.

Sent from my [mind] using the svtperformance.com mobile app

 

[CV355]

My son's 25 year old basketball coach is "sick" every month from "panic attacks". Gets physically sick. Ive seen it happen in person.

My gut reaction is to walk up to him and shout BETA!! as loud as I can and tell his millennial ass to get up and get at it.

I understand I shouldn't be this way, but it's truly hard for me to not look at this through "WTF is wrong with American men in 2019" type of goggles.

What's everyone's biggest fear? Losing possessions? Losing family (yes that would suck)? Failing at "life"?

IDK.

My biggest fear is pointlessness. I'm enduring all of this for something, and it sure as hell isn't money. The scariest thought that crosses my mind is, if I die one day and find out my life choices had no bearing on outcome. Faith is hard. The Bible makes a lot of promises that I hope aren't empty.

No, I'm not doing it all for a reward. Hell I didn't work 1200 unpaid hours of OT in 2016 because I wanted a reward, I did it because I felt I needed to be in the trenches with the guys on my team, as a leader. "I'm not above doing that" The outcome was meant to be the reward. We detail our cars because the shine is the reward, knowing full well that some pigeon is going to crap on it.

I've overcome some ridiculous crap in my life. A pastor sat on my couch last year, heard me rattle off just a handful of things that have happened to my wife and I from 2017 and 2018, and said "that's more than most people deal with in a lifetime..." My doctor told me she's surprised I'm even alive after the last few years.

 

[Revvv]

Has anyone actually taken the time to listen to the message? There is a lot of hope in it.

I'm not going to tell you one speech is going to change your life; I spend months listening and talking to people with anxiety and depression issues. It takes a bit of time, but Steve's message really does sum up a great deal of what I teach.

Sent from my [mind] using the svtperformance.com mobile app

 

[SolarYellow]

How about some cliff notes about what the Padre had to say regarding depression. I don't have a good attention span at times but I'm curious as all.

 

[72MachOne99GT]

I know people (probably more than I realize) that struggle with anxiety.

I 100% don’t get it.

Wake up, do your job, live your life, enjoy as much as possible, die.

I don't have the time or patience for something to be ****ing with my head 24/7.

 

[gimmie11s]

My biggest fear is pointlessness. I'm enduring all of this for something, and it sure as hell isn't money. The scariest thought that crosses my mind is, if I die one day and find out my life choices had no bearing on outcome. Faith is hard. The Bible makes a lot of promises that I hope aren't empty.

No, I'm not doing it all for a reward. Hell I didn't work 1200 unpaid hours of OT in 2016 because I wanted a reward, I did it because I felt I needed to be in the trenches with the guys on my team, as a leader. "I'm not above doing that" The outcome was meant to be the reward. We detail our cars because the shine is the reward, knowing full well that some pigeon is going to crap on it.

I've overcome some ridiculous crap in my life. A pastor sat on my couch last year, heard me rattle off just a handful of things that have happened to my wife and I from 2017 and 2018, and said "that's more than most people deal with in a lifetime..." My doctor told me she's surprised I'm even alive after the last few years.

Unpaid overtime LOL.

Ive been a salaried employee for 20+ years. The amount of unpaid OT ive worked would be enough to support a family of 4 for decades, im sure.

So I can certainly relate.

I believe the lessons of the Bible were real events, just like the resurrection of Jesus Chris. Too much historical fact to refute it (the Resurrection).

That's the easy way for me to believe the Bible; Jesus's resurrection. If he in fact rose from the dead, that's all I need to be a Christian.

Miracles are still being worked today. Here's an interesting one. There is actually audio recording of this miracle happening as it took place. Pretty crazy stuff IMO.

The Incredible Healing of Pastor Duane Miller While Preaching.

 

[Revvv]

I know people (probably more than I realize) that struggle with anxiety.

I 100% don’t get it.

Wake up, do your job, live your life, enjoy as much as possible, die.

I don't have the time or patience for something to be ****ing with my head 24/7.

It's hard for people that have never suffered from anxiety to understand it. I wish I had never had a bout with it. Thankfully have been able to turn an ugly situation into one that allows me to help others.

My anxiety was caused by a stress overload, combined with a bad diet, and horrible schedule. In all reality, I should be in a state of constant panic, but I was able to retrain my brain and get past the stuff that tried to shut me down.

I don't have an issue with crowds. In fact, I am a moth that gravitates toward the spotlight and center of attention. I struggle to step back, which is the opposite problem most have. If there is a stage, I like to be on it. I have no issues speaking, or performing music. I have learned to use, and not abuse that gift also. I enjoy teaching, leading, coaching, and motivating others. As I mature in age I find myself looking for ways to encourage others while I step back and support them.

Sent from my [mind] using the svtperformance.com mobile app

 

[Revvv]

How about some cliff notes about what the Padre had to say regarding depression. I don't have a good attention span at times but I'm curious as all.

I'm going to let someone else provide some cliff notes and likely a discussion that opens up to the topic even more. I am biased, so I want to see what others say before I add any influence to the message.

Sent from my [mind] using the svtperformance.com mobile app

 

[Coiled03]

Sorry to make it seem worse, but that sounds terrible.
There have to be some fellow SVTPers closer than 2.5 hours away. None of them seem to be a match for a friendship or 2?
Hell if I was closer, I'd come visit you.

None that I know of.

 

[MG0h3]

I enjoy meeting SVTP members. Unfortunately you guys are scattered around the Country.

Sent from my [mind] using the svtperformance.com mobile app

Holy crap. We should do a cruise! Have you seen the videos of family reunions on cruises? Ours would be X10


Sent from my iPhone using the svtperformance.com mobile app

 

[98 svt]

None that I know of.

Are you near Chitown?

 

[Coiled03]

Are you near Chitown?

Nope. 2.5 hours south lol. That's where my nearest friends live.

 

[Junior00]

Over simplification but it’s friggin true.

Just a slight one though!

 

[velocicaur]

Anxiety has absolutely ruined me. Depression set in which is just as bad if not worse.

Fear of not living up to expectations. Being judged by other people. Not living up to expectations (my own standards and what "society" set upon me) and just snowballed into all aspects of my life. I can even feel it driving now. I'm a disaster socially. I walk my dog around the block a few times a day and I can just see people looking at me, "what's wrong with him?" 34, no friends, living in my parent's basement working an absolute shit landscaping job (12/hr). Now the fear is... what is the point? I have about 35 years left on this world. My parents are getting older and they'll leave me eventually. I don't make enough money to live by myself with apartment prices and the cost of insurance, etc. My dad said he has left pretty much everything for me in his will. My sister lives an hour away and I don't get to see her much. She also struggles with anxiety and depression. She's doing much better career wise and makes good money but she doesn't have many friends, etc. either. She's just keeping it together and she's the only reason why I keep going. Death is always on my mind. Hitting the concrete beams going under every underpass on the highway. Parking my truck in a storage unit, take some pills, and let it idle.

Wow, that was pretty dark.

I'll tune into it some time tonight.

 

[Revvv]

Anxiety has absolutely ruined me. Depression set in which is just as bad if not worse.

Fear of not living up to expectations. Being judged by other people. Not living up to expectations (my own standards and what "society" set upon me) and just snowballed into all aspects of my life. I can even feel it driving now. I'm a disaster socially. I walk my dog around the block a few times a day and I can just see people looking at me, "what's wrong with him?" 34, no friends, living in my parent's basement working an absolute shit landscaping job (12/hr). Now the fear is... what is the point? I have about 35 years left on this world. My parents are getting older and they'll leave me eventually. I don't make enough money to live by myself with apartment prices and the cost of insurance, etc. My dad said he has left pretty much everything for me in his will. My sister lives an hour away and I don't get to see her much. She also struggles with anxiety and depression. She's doing much better career wise and makes good money but she doesn't have many friends, etc. either. She's just keeping it together and she's the only reason why I keep going. Death is always on my mind. Hitting the concrete beams going under every underpass on the highway. Parking my truck in a storage unit, take some pills, and let it idle.

Wow, that was pretty dark.

I'll tune into it some time tonight.

Send me a PM if you want to talk. No one will know what we discuss, and I will listen and give advice where I can. I talk to a lot of members here, so you would not be the first, and you wouldn't be the last.

Sent from my [mind] using the svtperformance.com mobile app

 

[03cobra#694]

Good thread, and watch the F bombs. That’s all.