Suffering Anxiety

[CompOrange04GT]

Everybody always talks about getting help. It's not that easy to do. I know because I tried. The problem is first getting over the fear/shame/whatever of actually asking for help. Then, when you finally do, you realize you have to see half a dozen different people before you find one you can actually work with. I tried 3 counselors, then gave up.

Agreed. I'm not going to just unload and reveal the shit in my head to some random person with a piece of paper. There's only ONE person on this planet, that knows certain things about me.

I've tried to talk to a counselor once.... and I could just feel a " holy shit " vibe from them.

And like you said.. the first one likely wont be the right one.. so then you're going to another revealing and repeating the same shit over and over

 

[Revvv]

Everybody always talks about getting help. It's not that easy to do. I know because I tried. The problem is first getting over the fear/shame/whatever of actually asking for help. Then, when you finally do, you realize you have to see half a dozen different people before you find one you can actually work with. I tried 3 counselors, then gave up.

What we need in life doesn't always come easy. Worry and anxiety can make things appear even more complex.

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[Revvv]

Agreed. I'm not going to just unload and reveal the shit in my head to some random person with a piece of paper. There's only ONE person on this planet, that knows certain things about me.

I've tried to talk to a counselor once.... and I could just feel a " holy shit " vibe from them.

And like you said.. the first one likely wont be the right one.. so then you're going to another revealing and repeating the same shit over and over

You know how to reach me, and I can assure you that your problems don't scare me.

As for hearing the same thing over and over; no. Similar stories are told, but ever person is unique. Every situation is also unique.

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[CV355]

I've tried to talk to a counselor once.... and I could just feel a " holy shit " vibe from them.

I got that too, but after talking with a few other people in the medical profession, I realized that a lot of their reaction is their personality. Most of them get into that profession out of a genuine desire to help others, so when someone explains a difficult situation, the reaction they get may be more indicative of empathy than you realize.

One day last year, I sat down with my specialist/counselor. I explained what I had been doing, why I was doing it, and she put the notebook down and was in tears. She explained that she was in the same situation in her job, wishing she could just snap her fingers and fix problems, but being unable to. She also explained that the "quantity over quality" issue was affecting her job satisfaction, since she took such pride in helping her patients. Was she just trying to relate? Perhaps. But I sensed it was genuine.

If a counselor is being truly judgmental, they either lack experience or shouldn't be a counselor. The only exception is when you need an "epiphany" moment from a bold move.

 

[CompOrange04GT]

I got that too, but after talking with a few other people in the medical profession, I realized that a lot of their reaction is their personality. Most of them get into that profession out of a genuine desire to help others, so when someone explains a difficult situation, the reaction they get may be more indicative of empathy than you realize.

One day last year, I sat down with my specialist/counselor. I explained what I had been doing, why I was doing it, and she put the notebook down and was in tears. She explained that she was in the same situation in her job, wishing she could just snap her fingers and fix problems, but being unable to. She also explained that the "quantity over quality" issue was affecting her job satisfaction, since she took such pride in helping her patients. Was she just trying to relate? Perhaps. But I sensed it was genuine.

If a counselor is being truly judgmental, they either lack experience or shouldn't be a counselor. The only exception is when you need an "epiphany" moment from a bold move.

My life is literally “ quantity over quality “ and I truly don’t know how to change it.

Whether it be, women, cars, jobs, etc

With women I slept around when at one point I had a great woman.

Cars, I’ve had too many. Instead of just having one really nice one. Hell my Camaro was like $700 a month and my 350 was 250 a month. Instead of could have spent $1000 on one car.. or saved and bought something. But I never do

Jobs.. I work too much to make money, but then have no quality of life ( which I’m trying to change with this new job offer)

I hear my dad was the same way... I know my mom is the same way. Personality traits are definitely genetic which is why I just wonder if I’m truly just screwed

 

[CV355]

My life is literally “ quantity over quality “ and I truly don’t know how to change it.

The best solutions come from the best questions. What do you define as "quality?"

No judgement here, by the way. I've had a spending problem, and "stuff" didn't bring any level of satisfaction for the blood, sweat, and tears that went into the work that earned the money to buy said things.

 

[Coiled03]

If a counselor is being truly judgmental, they either lack experience or shouldn't be a counselor. The only exception is when you need an "epiphany" moment from a bold move.

Yeah....nah. Counselors are judgmental as hell. They say they aren't, but they are.

 

[Revvv]

My life is literally “ quantity over quality “ and I truly don’t know how to change it.

Whether it be, women, cars, jobs, etc

With women I slept around when at one point I had a great woman.

Cars, I’ve had too many. Instead of just having one really nice one. Hell my Camaro was like $700 a month and my 350 was 250 a month. Instead of could have spent $1000 on one car.. or saved and bought something. But I never do

Jobs.. I work too much to make money, but then have no quality of life ( which I’m trying to change with this new job offer)

I hear my dad was the same way... I know my mom is the same way. Personality traits are definitely genetic which is why I just wonder if I’m truly just screwed

Far from being screwed.

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[Revvv]

Yeah....nah. Counselors are judgmental as hell. They say they aren't, but they are.

You should never feel like you're being judged by a counselor. There are a few emotionless people in the profession that go through the motions of their responsibilities. A true counselor is a leader and someone that genuinely cares. I don't judge anyone, I have my own issues. For me to judge someone else would be hypocritical.

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[CV355]

Yeah....nah. Counselors are judgmental as hell. They say they aren't, but they are.

It's one thing to think it, another to express it back at the patient. For instance, I know my counselor was probably clenching her jaw to not yell "Quit caring so much about work, you idiot! You're ruining your health and marriage over a place that doesn't give a crap about you! People would kill to be in your shoes, and you're unhappy?"

She told me that one of her patients is someone who is quite famous, like 8-figure net worth celebrity. Names/works were not mentioned. She said they were horribly depressed because "it's empty up here."

They have to judge somewhat, but it's all in the approach

 

[Chancey]

I experienced a panic attack, and anxiety followed that event when I was 22-24 years old. That event is what drove me to study psychology, and more specifically, anxiety, panic, and depression. I wanted to understand what changed in the chemistry of my mind and why. I wanted to understand how to overcome the recirculating thought process that many are debilitated by.

I lived in Atlanta, and I was involved in two business start ups, I worked at a locksmith supply company, and taught my customers new technology. In rarely slept, I worked non-stop, my eating habits were terrible despite my daily workout routine. My mind and body had enough and I collapsed. I am very familiar with anxiety, both minor and clinical. The best way to describe it; it sucks!

Most of you know that I approach things with a Christian worldview. That shouldn't be a big surprise to those that know me. I am an ordained pastor, and even though I do not have a physical church to lead as a pastor, I still counsel a lot of people in regard to panic, anxiety, depression, and worry.

While at church yesterday, Steve Davis, pastor of True North Community Church in North Augusta, SC covered the topic, and summed up what I teach long term. Because I am familiar with anxiety his message grabbed me personally. It impacted me enough to pass it along.

Yes, I am posting a link to a church service. You do not have to be a Christian, or believe in any God or god to harvest a lot of valuable encouragement and information. I am not pushing religion on anyone; that is a personal choice you can make, and I'm not going to shove Jesus down your throat. However, I am going to ask you to listen to this message with an open mind. It is worth the 45 minutes to an hour of your time.

I hope you get as much out of this message as I did. I hope it helps. ...and I will gladly answer any questions, and even help those of you that may suffer with anxiety.

Hope in the Face of Anxiety - TrueNorth Church
Hope in the Face of Anxiety - TrueNorth Church

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I used to suffer from panic attacks and a lot of anxiety. I am a Christian as well now and 99% of my issues are in the past. This is not a religious statement! It is just simple logic in that once I became a Christian and stopped making such bad decisions that (for the most part) caused my anxiety, my problems subsided. I am not pushing God on anyone and not intending to be “preachy” at all. I have tried it all in the past. Legal meds, doctors, self medicating, meditation, counseling, you name it. NOTHING helped me until I quit doing all of the things that I had a morally questionable self conscious about. Now that being said... sometimes (albeit rarely) I will have a quick dart from nowhere of anxiety that can turn into a panic attack if ignored. Nothing has changed as far as a circumstance or situation that causes this. It is usually late at night when this happens. But now I have a relationship so I can truthfully search my own heart first to make sure that Im not doing something I should not be doing, or ignoring something I should be doing that is causing this feeling. If not, I pray about it and it always clears up. Not always immediately mind you, sometimes I have to sleep on it. We live in a troubling world with plenty to stress about if we lose focus on what we should concern ourselves with. I never even heard of child suicide 30 years ago. Now it is rampant! My feelings and prayers go out to anyone who suffers from anxiety that they cannot understand or get out of. It can make life unbearable and be debilitating at times. This is not a judgement or blanket statement fix for everyone’s anxiety issues I know, I have just found that it works for me. Im so thankful that I am not plagued by those emotions any longer!

OP, thank you for bringing this up as so many of us men (and many others) today are suffering from this.

 

[03Sssnake]

 

[Coiled03]

You should never feel like you're being judged by a counselor. There are a few emotionless people in the profession that go through the motions of their responsibilities. A true counselor is a leader and someone that genuinely cares. I don't judge anyone, I have my own issues. For me to judge someone else would be hypocritical.

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I don't know what to tell you. I know that's how it SHOULD be. But then, the marriage counselor my ex-wife and I saw for one session asked me what I did to make my ex cheat on me. That's as judgmental as it gets, counselor or not.

 

[CV355]

I don't know what to tell you. I know that's how it SHOULD be. But then, the marriage counselor my ex-wife and I saw for one session asked me what I did to make my ex cheat on me. That's as judgmental as it gets, counselor or not.

Uh, yeah that's not right. That's definitely not how it should be. Sorry you went through that...

 

[03Sssnake]

Uh, yeah that's not right. That's definitely not how it should be. Sorry you went through that...

bet that counselor was a man hating dyke or a homo...

 

[Revvv]

It's one thing to think it, another to express it back at the patient. For instance, I know my counselor was probably clenching her jaw to not yell "Quit caring so much about work, you idiot! You're ruining your health and marriage over a place that doesn't give a crap about you! People would kill to be in your shoes, and you're unhappy?"

She told me that one of her patients is someone who is quite famous, like 8-figure net worth celebrity. Names/works were not mentioned. She said they were horribly depressed because "it's empty up here."

They have to judge somewhat, but it's all in the approach

That sounds more like jealousy than judgment.

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[Revvv]

I used to suffer from panic attacks and a lot of anxiety. I am a Christian as well now and 99% of my issues are in the past. This is not a religious statement! It is just simple logic in that once I became a Christian and stopped making such bad decisions that (for the most part) caused my anxiety, my problems subsided. I am not pushing God on anyone and not intending to be “preachy” at all. I have tried it all in the past. Legal meds, doctors, self medicating, meditation, counseling, you name it. NOTHING helped me until I quit doing all of the things that I had a morally questionable self conscious about. Now that being said... sometimes (albeit rarely) I will have a quick dart from nowhere of anxiety that can turn into a panic attack if ignored. Nothing has changed as far as a circumstance or situation that causes this. It is usually late at night when this happens. But now I have a relationship so I can truthfully search my own heart first to make sure that Im not doing something I should not be doing, or ignoring something I should be doing that is causing this feeling. If not, I pray about it and it always clears up. Not always immediately mind you, sometimes I have to sleep on it. We live in a troubling world with plenty to stress about if we lose focus on what we should concern ourselves with. I never even heard of child suicide 30 years ago. Now it is rampant! My feelings and prayers go out to anyone who suffers from anxiety that they cannot understand or get out of. It can make life unbearable and be debilitating at times. This is not a judgement or blanket statement fix for everyone’s anxiety issues I know, I have just found that it works for me. Im so thankful that I am not plagued by those emotions any longer!

OP, thank you for bringing this up as so many of us men (and many others) today are suffering from this.

Chancy, I appreciate this post. Thank you.

Also glad to see another GA resident here.

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[Revvv]

I don't know what to tell you. I know that's how it SHOULD be. But then, the marriage counselor my ex-wife and I saw for one session asked me what I did to make my ex cheat on me. That's as judgmental as it gets, counselor or not.

I will say it like it is; that comment would have pissed me off. That is uncalled for on every level.

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[CV355]

That sounds more like jealousy than judgment.

The context was about money and possessions. The 8-figure celebrity with yachts and Lamborghinis feels the same way, at the end of the day, as me. And believe me, I don't have yachts and Lamborghinis. The "it's empty up here" is scalar. 10 years ago, I didn't think I'd be where I am now, but it's irrelevant because I often feel the same way I did then. Objects changed. Experiences and battle scars.

The people who have the right attitude and still have nice things are the people who don't rely on those "nice things" to make them happy. The best day I've had with my GT500 was driving up through the NC mountains with my wife. The car didn't make me happy, the experience and company did. The car was just a tool to get there.

To me, the money I was making was a drug that got me through rough times. "Oh great, two more months of 80-100 hour weeks? What temporary goal can I set to get me through this? Cams!"

 

[Outlaw99]

I hate people. When im around large groups of them, i get anxiety and sometimes panic attacks

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