This thread made me check my phone. It’s an iphone 7 from 2014.
No wonder it’s a piece of shit.
Edit: iphone 7 came out in 2016. I have no idea when my phone is from.
I'll usually go 3-4 years between phones but Verizon has been back to doing "free" phones again on our corporate account after stopping for a while. ya, they extend you out 2 years but our per line price stays the same and you just pay tax on the price of the phone.