Would you date someone with herpes?

[Branhammer]

About 10 years ago I was seeing this girl with one of the best bodies I've ever fondled. Her face was just average at best but I'd been on such a dry spell at the time that I was willing to go in blind (I didn't know her that well) and if she had wanted to have unprotected sex, I wouldn't have thought twice. But anytime it would get hot and heavy to the point where I thought for sure it was going to happen, she'd stop me. Eventually she stopped talking to me out of nowhere and then called me out of the blue one day and broke it off.

A few months later, I was talking to a guy at work about her and he was like "holy shit man I know her. She gave my friend type 2 herpes." I seriously felt like I just flew on a plane and then after landing and getting off the plane, someone told me there was a bomb on it that didn't detonate.

I felt bad for her though. Obviously, she got weird and broke it off because she didn't want to give that shit to me.

 

[ZYBORG]

Op, if you like this girl that much, then I would stick around without having sexual contact. If at the end of a 2 yr period, she still manages to "rock your boat", Id say go for it and just deal with the outbreaks 2-3 times a year.

 

[IronSnake]

About 10 years ago I was seeing this girl with one of the best bodies I've ever fondled. Her face was just average at best but I'd been on such a dry spell at the time that I was willing to go in blind (I didn't know her that well) and if she had wanted to have unprotected sex, I wouldn't have thought twice. But anytime it would get hot and heavy to the point where I thought for sure it was going to happen, she'd stop me. Eventually she stopped talking to me out of nowhere and then called me out of the blue one day and broke it off.

A few months later, I was talking to a guy at work about her and he was like "holy shit man I know her. She gave my friend type 2 herpes." I seriously felt like I just flew on a plane and then after landing and getting off the plane, someone told me there was a bomb on it that didn't detonate.

I felt bad for her though. Obviously, she got weird and broke it off because she didn't want to give that shit to me.

I see this as a good pivot point. If the girl likes you, she is willing to tell you and admit it. If the girl ghost's like the above post, then she gives zero ****s. She's putting herself out there. It's up to you how you handle it.

 

[ZYBORG]

I felt bad for her though. Obviously, she got weird and broke it off because she didn't want to give that shit to me.

Or..... you were so bad in the sack that even a herpes infested chick had to turn you down.... lol

I kid, i kid!

I have a similar story.... many moons ago, when I had just started my debauchery... I met a really fine chick that was giving the signals to tap her keg. She was married though, so I never did anything with her. Fast forward some months, ended up finding out that she had the Herp.

Glad I dodged that bullet!

 

[Branhammer]

Or..... you were so bad in the sack that even a herpes infested chick had to turn you down.... lol

I kid, i kid!

Not that she knew from experience, but I was like 20 years old (which means this was actually 13 years ago...shit I'm old), so I probably WAS that bad. Luckily for my genitals, she didn't find out if I was any good or not. However, with the dry spell I was on at the time, I probably did reek of desperation, so it could've been that too.

I have a similar story.... many moons ago, when I had just started my debauchery... I met a really fine chick that was giving the signals to tap her keg. She was married though, so I never did anything with her. Fast forward some months, ended up finding out that she had the Herp.

Glad I dodged that bullet!

That's always a relief...and at the same time terrifyingly shocking.

 

[Sonic605hp]

I couldn't do it.

 

[R.D.P.]

Op, if you like this girl that much, then I would stick around without having sexual contact. If at the end of a 2 yr period, she still manages to "rock your boat", Id say go for it and just deal with the outbreaks 2-3 times a year.

2 YEARS??? Maybe six months, maybe.

 

[ZYBORG]

2 YEARS??? Maybe six months, maybe.

People usually put their best foot forward during the first 6 months, some might be able to stretch that a year. At the end of 2 years, you should find out how the person really is (for the most part).

If he likes her that much, that is my recommendation.

 

[Necrotizing]

Like many have already stated and pointed out, there is a huge social stigma to this. You really need to take the time to reflect on what happens if you two do not end up together for the long haul. Honestly, I can bet every guy on here has felt that sense of urgency about someone being the "one" or how they could really picture settling down with a certain girl. You have to remember that you're in that "cupcake and butterflies" phase at the moment. You really need to be around each other more to see how you actually mesh. So I would say you need more time around her to figure out if you want to risk it for the biscuit. Define biscuit how you'd like here; marriage or the tappity-tap.

 

[32ValveRom]

A friend of mine turned out to have it. Only reason I found out was because he was dating a girl for a while whom ended up becoming friends with my girl. Their relationship went sour due to him cheating and all the sudden, his gf ends up telling my gf she's got herpes. After all that and a rough breakup, she's with a new guy and they now have a little girl. I have no idea how none of that works nor have I spoken to my friend about it.

Op, if I were you, I would just break it off with her but remain friends. The reason being is because I don't want herpes. Simple as that. I know easier said than done but the only way I would feel otherwise is if I was significantly overweight, unattractive or felt I was running out of time. The fact is there are pof in the sea and I think if you recognize this, eventually you'll be looking back at how good a decision it was.

Now the question remains, do you want an STD?

 

[Dr. Gonzo]

I'm going to see her again but avoid physical contact and take it day by day. I'm not going to rush into anything just for the sake of adding a notch to my bed post, especially with possible lifelong consequences. Over time if I can't look past that possibility, it'll never work and I'd break it off.

I'm at the age where all my friends are married and having kids so it would be nice to finally settle down with a nice girl but no marriage talk for at least a few years. I don't think I want kids so that could be a deal breaker right off the bat.

 

[GT Premi]

...
After our first two dates I tried kissing her and was denied saying he doesn't kiss on the first date and takes things slow. I wasn't really phased by it as because it showed me she had values...

More on that in a minute...

... she doesn't look nor seem like someone who'd have it. ..

That's how people end up with diseases. I bet if a study was conducted, it would find that attractive people have and/or contract more STDs than "unattractive" people. I've actually thought about it before, and every time I see somebody with scabby lips, it's typically an otherwise attractive person. I was out shopping one time years ago and came across this smoking hot White lady. She was like the "all-American" type; blonde hair, crazy blue eyes, big ol' titties, slender body, the whole 9. Yet, what did I see on her face? It had to be the biggest set of lip scabs I've ever seen! And she had some kind of salve all over them, so they were glistening in the florescent lighting. My first thought was, "Why in the world would she be out in public with her mouth looking like that?!" (There goes that stigma.) My second thought was, "Welp, you know she sucks dick!" (There's that stigma, again.) Then I thought, "Hmm... I wonder if I should get her number and call her in a few days for a serious blowjob after that rotgut clears off her lips?" (Because a hard dick has no conscious, fear, nor good judgement. Oh, and there's another stigma of being a whore.)

... Apparently she got it 3 years ago after fooling around with a guy, no intercourse and she was a virgin at the time...

Sooo... Remember that "values" thing you mentioned earlier? What she was telling you is that she sucked the virus off his dick. Or she jacked him off and then put her hand(s) on her mouth afterward before washing them. That tells me your wholesome young lady is freaky and/or has inadequate hygiene practices.

I told her I'd like to go out again and continue to see where things go and take it from there. I've researched and the transmission rate while on antiviral medication is roughly 2%. I've read there are couples who've been together for many years and never transmit it even with unprotected sex. Yes, it's a yuge decision but if I can see a future with her, the juice may be worth the squeeze.

...

See my previous comment about a hard dick.

edit:
I forgot to make my point. If you really see a future with this girl, and you're absolutely, positively sure that she feels the same about you, and she has no other red flags, a bright future together might be worth the risk. Herpes is not deadly or even has any other ill affects on an otherwise healthy person. Also, it's not like good women grow on trees these days. You need to give it some serious thought, with your BIG head, not your little one. If it works out, great! If it doesn't, now you're left with the herp, and you'll be the one having to have that awkward conversation with all your future partners.

 

[IronSnake]

I don't think I want kids so that could be a deal breaker right off the bat.

Give it a year with the right woman, and that mindset has a very real possibility of changing.

But glad to hear you'll give it a shot. Just date and see how it goes. Obviously sex/physical contact is important, but see if you two really like each other and want to go that far first before throwing caution to the wind.

 

[03Sssnake]

 

[GT Premi]

... I don't think I want kids so that could be a deal breaker right off the bat.

Give it a year with the right woman, and that mindset has a very real possibility of changing.

...

Yep! My wife and I both already have adult kids from previous marriages. She was already approaching pre-menopause when we became a couple. She right off the bat told me that if I wanted kids, we needed to start working on it right away. I was beyond flattered that she even offered at her age, but, at the time, there was no way in hell I wanted to be raising a baby at our age. As the time goes on, though, we both wish like hell that we'd met and had a baby together when we were younger.

So, yeah, your thoughts about having kids might very well change with the right woman. Before I met my wife, I had the attitude that there was no way in hell I'd ever remarry. After I got to know her and fell in love, my attitude changed to there's no way in hell I want to live the rest of my life without her by my side. The right woman can change your entire outlook on life. You feel literally compelled to marry and/or have children with "the one."

 

[Riddla]

It seems someone when to the "ATM"
with her.

What happens if all goes well and you take the plunge. After sometime you guys fall apart. Now its your problem.

 

[Dirks9901]

OP, sounds like you have your head on straight and have things going for you. You're 32. Simply put, they're plenty of fish in the sea. Pass on her. Not worth it.

Look at it this way, if you decide to move forward with her, you will more than likely contract it. This is something you need to accept. Which means if things go south with the relationship (huge chance that will eventually happen) you can count on the fact that your post dating life will be pretty bad and you're going to be settling for just about anyone that will accept the fact you have the herp.

I also wouldn't be so quick to believe her on how she contacted it either.

Sorry for being debbie downer about it but if it were me i would hit the door running.


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[Dr. Gonzo]

How she got it is pretty much a moot point because she has it.

You're not being a debbie downer, what you said is real possible outcome and moving forward is a decision I will not make lightly. For now, it's going to stay very casual.

 

[Dirks9901]

How she got it is pretty much a moot point because she has it.

You're not being a debbie downer, what you said is real possible outcome and moving forward is a decision I will not make lightly. For now, it's going to stay very casual.

Very true.

I think that's a good move keeping very casual.


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[Never_Enough]

25, attractive, nice, and has her shit together? ... And you believe she was a virgin til she was 22?


Man dudes will believe anything from hot women...

Fo realz. This woman is not being honest with you + she has herpes? Run.