Should a spouse be named in parent’s Will?

[jaxbusa]

My mother gave me a copy of her updated Will and I read it with my wife. My wife was asking me why her name wasn’t in it. This opened up a good conversation between us, and I want to know what you think. I have one brother and the Will is split 50/50 between he and I. If he dies I get 100% and viceversa. I have been married for 16 years, my brother has been living with the same girlfriend for 11 years. No one has kids, so there are no grandchildren for my mom to leave anything to. We all get along very well. My mom’s Will seems normal to me and abnormal to my wife. What do you think? Should the spouse be named in a parent’s Will?

Edited for clarification:
Also think about the possibility of me dying before my mother, which is what sparked a conversation.



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[PC03GT]

Ultimately it's up to your mother, but I would say NO. You guy's are married, so she will get whatever regardless. I wouldn't take it personal

 

[IA Shelby]

No spouses should not be listed.

 

[_Snake_]

No, spouses do not need to be named in wills. For essentially the same reason they can't be excluded from the title to your home when applying for a mortgage.

Well, not exactly but maybe that'll make sense to your wife. lol

 

[JimCSHO]

As an estate planning attorney I can give you the "attorney answer" ----- it depends.

The estate plan is your Mother's and her assets.

So it depends upon who SHE wants to include as a beneficiary in her plan.

The plan you laid out - 50/50 between her children and with no grandchildren then 100% to the survivor of the 2 of you - is a very common and traditional planning style. Nothing at all unusual about it.

What does it provide though for the next "what if" question that the attorney should ask: what if both you and your sibling predecease? Where do the assets go then?

An estate planning attorney should always be thinking of the "what if" questions and getting the client's wishes down for possible scenarios.

 

[Outlaw99]

When my died several years back, I learned real quick that a will is absolutely worthless.

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[lOOKnGO]

No, spouses do not need to be named in wills. For essentially the same reason they can't be excluded from the title to your home when applying for a mortgage.

Well, not exactly but maybe that'll make sense to your wife. lol

That's not the case in VA. House is only in my name. I've refinanced a couple times also. I went to get a will and my attorney said my wife would get everything. Same attorney did my prenuptial.

When my died several years back, I learned real quick that a will is absolutely worthless.

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This 100% unless you wish to drag it into court. Usually still not worth it for little stuff.

 

[jaxbusa]

When my died several years back, I learned real quick that a will is absolutely worthless.

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Can you elaborate on this?


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[Outlaw99]

Can you elaborate on this?


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Just that I thought if you had a will, that it must be abided by. NOPE! Nearly everything in my dads will didnt go like he had wished. The personal property in his home that was supposed to go to my sister and I, actually stayed with my step sister who has not been a part of the family for years. She lived in his home to help take care of him as he got older. My sister and I were not allowed to collect one single item from my dads place. Regardless of the will saying different. My dads car who he willed to my son, my step sister got to keep because she refused to allow anyone to come and get it. And the list goes on and on and on....the court told us to hire an attorney. Any idea what a retainer is to even begin tp have the will enforced? Around $10K. We decided to just let everything go. In a huge twist of fates, my step sis died last year, 5 years after my dad did. She had thrown out everything into a dumpster shortly after he died.
police would not get involved because it was a civil matter. Even though she was stealing.

It would take a few hours to go through my dads will and explain how nothing mattered.

 

[jessie_sanders]

Just that I thought if you had a will, that it must be abided by. NOPE! Nearly everything in my dads will didnt go like he had wished. The personal property in his home that was supposed to go to my sister and I, actually stayed with my step sister who has not been a part of the family for years. She lived in his home to help take care of him as he got older. My sister and I were not allowed to collect one single item from my dads place. Regardless of the will saying different. My dads car who he willed to my son, my step sister got to keep because she refused to allow anyone to come and get it. And the list goes on and on and on....the court told us to hire an attorney. Any idea what a retainer is to even begin tp have the will enforced? Around $10K. We decided to just let everything go. In a huge twist of fates, my step sis died last year, 5 years after my dad did. She had thrown out everything into a dumpster shortly after he died.
police would not get involved because it was a civil matter. Even though she was stealing.

It would take a few hours to go through my dads will and explain how nothing mattered.

I'm totally ignorant to how any of this works but what would stop a person in your situation from going to your dad's house and enforcing the will?

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[PC03GT]

It can get messy really quick. When it comes to a death it can bring out the best or the worst in a person.

 

[Outlaw99]

I'm totally ignorant to how any of this works but what would stop a person in your situation from going to your dad's house and enforcing the will?

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Well, I did just that and was charged with 2nd degree trespassing.

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[lOOKnGO]

Just that I thought if you had a will, that it must be abided by. NOPE! Nearly everything in my dads will didnt go like he had wished. The personal property in his home that was supposed to go to my sister and I, actually stayed with my step sister who has not been a part of the family for years. She lived in his home to help take care of him as he got older. My sister and I were not allowed to collect one single item from my dads place. Regardless of the will saying different. My dads car who he willed to my son, my step sister got to keep because she refused to allow anyone to come and get it. And the list goes on and on and on....the court told us to hire an attorney. Any idea what a retainer is to even begin tp have the will enforced? Around $10K. We decided to just let everything go. In a huge twist of fates, my step sis died last year, 5 years after my dad did. She had thrown out everything into a dumpster shortly after he died.
police would not get involved because it was a civil matter. Even though she was stealing.

It would take a few hours to go through my dads will and explain how nothing mattered.

I was to be the executor for my parents. My mother passed then my father was hospitalized. After released, we took care of him at our home for months. As we were involved in his care (my wife really) his brothers and sisters took stuff from their home and my sister cashed out insurance policies. Also she took money from the house. Our guess 60k to pay for her daughter's wedding. All an all it doesn't matter now. I know we've been blessed for taking care of both my parents. We learned on my folks passing and now my MI is touching on all this stuff. We told her we don't want anything. Lesson learned, some people are Vultures during death. I've witnessed first hand and believe me they all payed dearly with personal losses and conditions.

 

[Dirks9901]

Just that I thought if you had a will, that it must be abided by. NOPE! Nearly everything in my dads will didnt go like he had wished. The personal property in his home that was supposed to go to my sister and I, actually stayed with my step sister who has not been a part of the family for years. She lived in his home to help take care of him as he got older. My sister and I were not allowed to collect one single item from my dads place. Regardless of the will saying different. My dads car who he willed to my son, my step sister got to keep because she refused to allow anyone to come and get it. And the list goes on and on and on....the court told us to hire an attorney. Any idea what a retainer is to even begin tp have the will enforced? Around $10K. We decided to just let everything go. In a huge twist of fates, my step sis died last year, 5 years after my dad did. She had thrown out everything into a dumpster shortly after he died.
police would not get involved because it was a civil matter. Even though she was stealing.

It would take a few hours to go through my dads will and explain how nothing mattered.

I remember you talking about this years ago. You got totally ****ed. Absolutely ridiculous.

To answer the OP’s question, its abnormal to list spouses in a will. Wtf.


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[03cobra#694]

Just that I thought if you had a will, that it must be abided by. NOPE! Nearly everything in my dads will didnt go like he had wished. The personal property in his home that was supposed to go to my sister and I, actually stayed with my step sister who has not been a part of the family for years. She lived in his home to help take care of him as he got older. My sister and I were not allowed to collect one single item from my dads place. Regardless of the will saying different. My dads car who he willed to my son, my step sister got to keep because she refused to allow anyone to come and get it. And the list goes on and on and on....the court told us to hire an attorney. Any idea what a retainer is to even begin tp have the will enforced? Around $10K. We decided to just let everything go. In a huge twist of fates, my step sis died last year, 5 years after my dad did. She had thrown out everything into a dumpster shortly after he died.
police would not get involved because it was a civil matter. Even though she was stealing.

It would take a few hours to go through my dads will and explain how nothing mattered.

Kris, I went through the same shit with my sister when my dad died. I was in charge of everything, but she forged shit and we got nada. Karma's a bitch is all I can say. I don't talk with her.

 

[Bullitt1448]

My father in law named spouses in his will, that part went smoothly. There is always someone that is not going to be happy about what is in someone’s will. In our case it was my sister in law even though she got exactly, to the penny, the same as everyone else. She was still in a snit and we have not spoken to her since.

 

[jessie_sanders]

Well, I did just that and was charged with 2nd degree trespassing.

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The step sister filed the trespassing charge?

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[gimmie11s]

Well, I did just that and was charged with 2nd degree trespassing.

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Yikes, sorry to hear. Needed a better lawyer perhaps?

Sure seems if you were named in the will that you'd be legally allowed to execute it?

 

[Outlaw99]

The step sister filed the trespassing charge?

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Yes she did.

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[PC03GT]

I went through a shitty situation when my mother passed. I signed everything over and walked away with my head held high. God is always watching and some seem to forget that.