Is this the NEW social NORM? WTF!

[lOOKnGO]

I've attended a ton of weddings and probably average 2 a year. Family and friends. I've yet to get an invite that doesn't include children. So I don't consider this no-kids-invite the norm. JMO.

Good to hear Bob! We only experienced this on one side of my family (just outside the DC beltway) looks like it maybe spreading. The wife read these responses too. Looks like she is going to return the invite with a note. Our family will be attending to witness the ceremony, but will be departing after the ceremony.


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[_Snake_]

Looks like I have to take a stand. Don't want to, but I can't feed the new social norm. Moms side of the family growing up typical once a year summer reunion, Christmas party, and weddings! 6 uncles 1 aunt and cousins galore. It so happens I'm the second youngest in this family parade. Growing up I attended and participated in the majority of listed events. Funerals being the hardest. Weddings being the most fun! It seems now the new norm to not send invites to include children in wedding invites. It started with the one of the oldest cousins kids getting married and not including kids. I figured that's odd and attended anyway, without my kids. My niece then followed suite and did the same thing. However, I semi took a stand and only attended the ceremony not the reception. "Note" the first wedding was at a Trump golf course where Newt G. (he was there complementing my wife) plays and the sisters was at a premiere gathering place outside DC 100k plus weddings with no kids except the ones participating in ceremonies. NOW I get another! Same deal. This cousin means a lot to me as he is two years older and close. I'm still pissed at my sister but I simply can't feed the the new norm. Is this the new norm?


And let me beat anyone who starts replying. "Your kids must be little terrors" far from it! They spend a lot of time with elderly people that simply light up around them. I have two superior young social kids.

What gives?

Either you're family or not! I want to have my kids experience the good family celebrations along with sad. How can we expect our kids to carry on our norms if they are not experienced.


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The wedding isn’t being put together for you or your kids. It’s for the bride, and a little for the groom. If they don’t want the distraction of kids at their ceremony and reception, respect that or send a gift in lieu of attending.

 

[Kevins89notch]

Weddings are expensive and kids add to the head count.

This! A friend got married a couple years back and his wife is an event coordinator at a large resort, aka a wedding planner of sorts. When he told us the reception wasn't open bar, we started giving him some ****. He told us the truth. (I don't recall the exact prices, but....) They went for nice food options and it was like $45 a person. To be open bar, it was another $45 per person. If there was 75 people, that's an extra $3375 (plus tax and plus gratuity...basically 4K) It doesn't matter of the 75 people, 15 are kids, and 10 are elderly who don't drink, it's a flat rate per head count. He threw down $1,000 on the cash bar for the wedding party and everyone else was on their own.

 

[Blown 89]

This! A friend got married a couple years back and his wife is an event coordinator at a large resort, aka a wedding planner of sorts. When he told us the reception wasn't open bar, we started giving him some ****. He told us the truth. (I don't recall the exact prices, but....) They went for nice food options and it was like $45 a person. To be open bar, it was another $45 per person. If there was 75 people, that's an extra $3375 (plus tax and plus gratuity...basically 4K) It doesn't matter of the 75 people, 15 are kids, and 10 are elderly who don't drink, it's a flat rate per head count. He threw down $1,000 on the cash bar for the wedding party and everyone else was on their own.

$45 is cheap. Most are well over double that per plate

 

[Never_Enough]

If someone wants no kids @ their wedding that is their right. I wouldn't want kids at mine.

 

[coposrv]

my dad is the first son of 8 kids. Im the second oldest of 30-40 some odd first cousins and we’re all still living with in a few mile radius and all very close. I was 15 at one of my uncle’s weddings. One of his groomsmen kept feeding me and my older cousin whiskey sours. By about 10 we were borderline poisoned. If the guest list is kids only I get it. Depends on the situation.

My own wedding was tough. We had it at my in laws yacht club that could only hold 170-200. We had to trim the guest list down. Not inviting some people was difficult but it was out of our hands to a certain extent. I wouldn’t take exception to it if I were you.


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[coposrv]

$45 is cheap. Most are well over double that per plate

Yeah I think going rate is closer to 100$


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[Kevins89notch]

$45 is cheap. Most are well over double that per plate

...and I clearly said I don't recall the exact price, but was just tossing out numbers. The higher the price, the more I agree with no kids.

 

[kirks5oh]

Christ, between my wife and I, we have five kids. The LAST thing I want to do if I’m attending a wedding is bring our 5 kids. Are you out of your mind? I’d bet the kids have 100 times more fun at the family reunion you mentioned, and it’s not nearly as expensive for the family. Lol at the thought of teaching kids the importance of courtship and marriage by them attending a wedding. And the fact you’ve been married twice makes the thought even more laughable. Teach the kids about courtship and marriage through how you live every day of your life—not one particular day that is 1000% not about you or your kids. I’d strongly recommend sending them a gift and not attending, if you’re to the point of taking a “moral stand”. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you’re in the wrong

 

[03Sssnake]

Drinks for the kids or for you? Haha

My little brother and I got hammered at my older cousins wedding, think I was in 5th or sixth grade...for some reason my dad thought they had sparkling cider in the glasses and I proceeded to pound them when I realized it was booze..my old man didn’t realize it was champagne till my brother fell out his chair. Think dad was pretty lit up on scotch as well.

 

[bdcardinal]

I was at a wedding which had a separate kids area for the reception. A bunch of games and either pizza or Happy Meals for them. Now this wedding didn't have alcohol or dancing for religious reasons, but I thought it was a cool idea.

 

[Klay]

I look at it different because the weddings I went to as a kid were not fun for me. Granted, they were for people I didn't really know but still. I don't have the fun memories you do OP, so having no young kids at a wedding makes sense to me.

 

[coposrv]

Now this wedding didn't have alcohol or dancing for religious reasons, but I thought it was a cool idea.

Sounds like a blast. What did people do just sit and eat?


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[OETKB]

My little brother and I got hammered at my older cousins wedding, think I was in 5th or sixth grade...for some reason my dad thought they had sparkling cider in the glasses and I proceeded to pound them when I realized it was booze..my old man didn’t realize it was champagne till my brother fell out his chair. Think dad was pretty lit up on scotch as well.

I went to a Christmas party like this at the Greek Orthodox Church in Charlotte. It also involved a cash bar, the snake dance, and a fist fight involving my girlfriend's dad, who looked exactly like Marcus Welby, MD. We took him home, and then commenced to drink Ouzo. *blech*

 

[03Sssnake]

I went to some Christmas parties like this at the Greek Orthodox Church in Charlotte. It also involved a cash bar, the snake dance, and a fist fight involving my girlfriend's dad, who looks exactly like Marcus Welby, MD. We took him home, and then commenced to drink Ouzo. *blech*

lol... ouzo, that stuff taste like mosquito repellent. My mother’s side is all Scotch-Irish, they all drink like lords and fight like hell. I think you and I would get a long just fine

 

[OETKB]

lol... ouzo, that stuff taste like mosquito repellent. My mother’s side is all Scotch-Irish, they all drink like lords and fight like hell. I think you and I would get a long just fine

I thought it tasted like black locorice, which I detest. Anyway, it was a hell of a second date with the screaming hot Greek chick I dated five years and almost married.

Glad I didn't though. Divorce, and/or murder would have been imminent

 

[03Sssnake]

I thought it tasted like black locorice, which I detest. Anyway, it was a hell of a second date with the screaming hot Greek chick I dated five years and almost married.

Glad I didn't though. Divorce, and/or murder would have been imminent

I might be confusing it with Akvavit a Norwegian liquor.

 

[bdcardinal]

Sounds like a blast. What did people do just sit and eat?

I do remember the food was spectacular. I was friends with the groom's parents and the wedding was being held at a country club in Calabasas. There was a certain amount charged by the county club and since there was no alcohol, they could spend it all on food. I don't really drink that much, and I wasn't 21 then so it was no big deal for me.

 

[svtfocus2cobra]

I thought it tasted like black locorice, which I detest. Anyway, it was a hell of a second date with the screaming hot Greek chick I dated five years and almost married.

Glad I didn't though. Divorce, and/or murder would have been imminent

If it tastes like black licorice then that sounds like the Absinthe we drank at my friend's wedding at the Mayflowet Hotel in Seattle. That was a great wedding!

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[DriftwoodSVT]

My cousin recently had a black tie wedding, no kids allowed. We did not attend.