LOL, they are married with kids so she is probably not banging him anyway
Controversial...is this wrong?
- Thread starter jpro
- Start date
However they are still your children. If you don’t want you/your wife to be with them that is your choice.
If we're talking what's wrong with society, here's a few things.
Kids today are little pussies. I never had the luxury to get dropped off when I was older than 8-9 years old. I walked a mile to elementary school and a mile back every day, even in winter, unless it was a horrific storm (in the early 90's, schools didn't close for a light dusting of snow like they do today). This taught me to be grateful for the things I had when they came around and taught me humility and also humbled me. Now, kids expect, as they get older, to have themselves taken care of and mommy and daddy around 24/7. High school was no different, I walked. I would sometimes get a lift from my Dad or my mom, or, car pool with a friend whose parents had time to take them to school.
The wife needs to work, IMO. My wife and I were raised that a marriage takes two and one shouldn't be staying at home, regardless of the reason. In this day in age, unless you've got wealthy families with a big kick back from them or you make huge bucks, which most people do not, you are not affording a mortgage, car payments and two kids on one income (not directed at the OP, general statement)
Kids today are little pussies. I never had the luxury to get dropped off when I was older than 8-9 years old. I walked a mile to elementary school and a mile back every day, even in winter, unless it was a horrific storm (in the early 90's, schools didn't close for a light dusting of snow like they do today). This taught me to be grateful for the things I had when they came around and taught me humility and also humbled me. Now, kids expect, as they get older, to have themselves taken care of and mommy and daddy around 24/7. High school was no different, I walked. I would sometimes get a lift from my Dad or my mom, or, car pool with a friend whose parents had time to take them to school.
The wife needs to work, IMO. My wife and I were raised that a marriage takes two and one shouldn't be staying at home, regardless of the reason. In this day in age, unless you've got wealthy families with a big kick back from them or you make huge bucks, which most people do not, you are not affording a mortgage, car payments and two kids on one income (not directed at the OP, general statement)
I keep seeing mentioned doing the shopping, cleaning, and errands while the kids are in school.
Shopping- Do some not own a fridge? Who grocery shops daily?
Cleaning- You either have a huge mansion that needs to be broken down into daily areas, or have some rowdy ass kids if they wreck the house to the point a full clean is required daily. That or live in show homes that are "show ready" 24/7.
Errands: How busy are some people? What errands can a family have that requires multiple days to complete every week? I've had some really busy weeks, and know people who are always busy, however it's 99% of the time work related. You remove that, and they're not grabbing dry cleaning, going to the DMV, and hanging drywall every day.
When kids are in school 730-3, I'm not seeing 7.5 hours of nonstop "home work" every day.
Shopping- Do some not own a fridge? Who grocery shops daily?
Cleaning- You either have a huge mansion that needs to be broken down into daily areas, or have some rowdy ass kids if they wreck the house to the point a full clean is required daily. That or live in show homes that are "show ready" 24/7.
Errands: How busy are some people? What errands can a family have that requires multiple days to complete every week? I've had some really busy weeks, and know people who are always busy, however it's 99% of the time work related. You remove that, and they're not grabbing dry cleaning, going to the DMV, and hanging drywall every day.
When kids are in school 730-3, I'm not seeing 7.5 hours of nonstop "home work" every day.
Seeing schools close for a flake & every kid getting picked up by the bus in front of their house pisses me off. Lazy little shits
Some people just want to seem important or keep up with someone else they are jealous of or they are just a complete moron & can't manage time to save their life.
So it works for you. For others it may not. And sounds like your kids are young and not so active. Mine were active as hell from the age of 9.
Tournament Softball is enough to drive you nuts. Practice like crazy, then she played volleyball.
Before that it was several years of competitive gymnastics. That is practice 3-4 nights a week and almost an hour drive from home. You don't get home until 10.
So one of us worked all day, picked her up from school, drove to get her there for 4pm, Stayed until 8PM or a little after by the time she gets out. Stopped on the way home for food, got home and finished homework and got ready for bed.
All this while the older one had Dance class 3 nights a week in the other direction.
Our life was hell for several years.
What cracks me up is driving into surburbia and seeing parents taking kids to school on golf carts. Makes me laugh every time.
Seriously. I just can't fathom how horribly some manages their time when the kids aren't around, that requires to be free every day.
Always see being a housewife is (more than) a full time job. Let's say your wife gets abducted by aliens (space or illegal) tonight. To keep things running smooth, you hire an assistant, would you have a slammed 40-50 hours of weekly work for them? I'm guessing if you had to pay for all that housewife work, you'd question the hours being billed.
Well, that's a new one on me, lol.
we could literally do that, the junior high and elementary are right next to our neighborhood...semi rural area, not quite full blown suburbia yet, but getting there unfortunately.
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She's getting everything she wants, whenever she wants, bills paid. She doesn't have to do anything. Withholding sex is going to do nothing.
Here's what he needs to withhold. STOP ****ING CLEANING. STOP bending. STOP going out of your way to do everything you want her to do. I know it'll suck, but OP needs to see how far she will let the house go, and document the ****ing shit out of it. As a just in case.
You give her an inch, she took a foot.. gave her the foot.. she took a yard.. gave her the yard she took a mile.
OP you said the van is a mess. Will she let the house go that way?
This. I used to get into it with my wife because her stay at home mom sister would complain that her husband wasn't helping with the chores when he got home from work. I couldn't ever figure out why there were still chores to do once he got home. All their kids were in school so she had the biggest part of the day home alone. Once you clean a house you shouldn't need more than 30 minutes to an hour a day to straighten up. Most of the grocery shopping should be done one day a week. You can cook several days worth of meals/lunches in a day or two. Once you get a system down it shouldn't be that much work. Now with Amazon subscribe and save and Walmart grocery pickup even going to the store shouldn't take that long.
The question that always got me in trouble "He is working 8 hours. What did she do for 8 hours?"
Yes, she would let the house become a mess. I've seen it. Hell, I will straighten up after the kids go to bed and when I come home from work the next day it looks like a tornado has run through. If I let the house go, where will I go? I guess I could get the 350 and just sit in it...it would be my sanctuary. LOL
I've got a better one for you...
When we talk generally about her going back to work I always slip in the line "yeah, then I can retire earlier and get back into a Cobra." When I have said that, I can recall at least 3 instances when one of her friends or even my mom has said "so she goes back to work so you can get something for yourself." I'm sitting there thinking my god, I have been supporting this family for years and have never asked for anything. What's mine is yours, what's yours is mine. Almost like its my responsibility only to contribute and if she goes back to work she gets to keep all the money she makes? That's just crazy to me! And yet they made those comments.
Your wife sounds lazy as hell. You gotta just sit her down & talk to her calmly, but firmly. If she refuses to pull her weight, it might be time to move on...
Divorce over a messy house? I don't think so. LOL
However, she knows it bothers me because I make a point of it. She knows, I have told her so.
This issue is clearly bigger than a dirty house. She knows, but keeps doing it...
So let her be a slob? **** that
Spot on.
Not to hijack my own thread, but since part of the the original discussion was about finances, I read this article yesterday about retirement. It is mind-boggling!
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/04/23/how...|finance|headline|story|&par=yahoo&yptr=yahoo
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/04/23/how...|finance|headline|story|&par=yahoo&yptr=yahoo
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