Controversial...is this wrong?

[Blk04L]

I went this route last week. Good advice.

I showed her my retirement accounts and projections, then showed her my Roth. I am insistent that she open a Roth and max it, which means $458/month out the door, but she would have over $300k at 8% in 20 years (she is still in her 30's while I am 42). Didn't quite sink in to her. I told her another $458/month to her Roth is something I can handle, but it should be hers, financed by her. Seems totally content on my retirement and Roth, etc.

And she has the trump card...she can simply bring up the question of how it will impact the kids. She knows my kids are my heart.

Damn man, she might of very well checked out and it may be a battle then to get her to work.

Wife is in year one of not working while she takes care of our 6 month old. I keep shooting her down when she wants a part time job cause that lil guy is a full time 24/7 days a week job.
Hoping though, once he's in school she'll still want to get some type of income, mainly to boost our retirement.

 

[jpro]

OP, I think you should look at yourself. Why would you feel frustrated being a soul provider. You are outside the norm and should recognize that you are in a privileged class that 90% couples with kids couldn't dream of doing!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

No doubt. I have worked my tail off and made some gutsy career moves to get here. We have moved from my home state (Ohio) to Florida, then to Wisconsin and now Vegas (I will finish my career here). I have maxed out on my potential. I'm committed to providing consistency to my kids as they enter junior high/high school and to provide to them the opportunity for a college education. It's taken care of.

To your point, I think my wife needs to recognize this and not take it for granted. I came from nothing...poor and from a large family. My dad taught me commitment to family and work ethic. He was blue collar (military, steel worker, professional firefighter). His lessons are not lost on me.

On another note, my wife often "goes without" because we only have one income. She doesn't have expensive bags or shoes, doesn't regularly get manicures, and doesn't blow tons of dough. So in some ways, she is doing her part. I just don't think it is enough at this point.

 

[jpro]

Damn man, she might of very well checked out and it may be a battle then to get her to work.

Wife is in year one of not working while she takes care of our 6 month old. I keep shooting her down when she wants a part time job cause that lil guy is a full time 24/7 days a week job.
Hoping though, once he's in school she'll still want to get some type of income, mainly to boost our retirement.

If my kids were that young I would want her to stay home too. It will be worth it, trust me.

 

[DriftwoodSVT]

My wife still gets the occasional 'Why don't you stop working so you can be home with the boys' question from people. They are 7 and 9, and in school. Such a stupid question.

 

[jpro]

My wife still gets the occasional 'Why don't you stop working so you can be home with the boys' question from people. They are 7 and 9, and in school. Such a stupid question.

Right? Mine are basically the same age (a little older). So if my wife works full-time the kids will go to safekey in their school for an hour or so after school and get their homework done.

And as I mentioned, I'm in a job where if I'm needed outside of work, I can drop everything and go. No questions asked.

 

[DriftwoodSVT]

Right? Mine are basically the same age (a little older). So if my wife works full-time the kids will go to safekey in their school for an hour or so after school and get their homework done.

And as I mentioned, I'm in a job where if I'm needed outside of work, I can drop everything and go. No questions asked.

Same here. I can pretty much come and go as I please. So in the case of an accident I can be at the school in reasonable time.

 

[lOOKnGO]

No doubt. I have worked my tail off and made some gutsy career moves to get here. We have moved from my home state (Ohio) to Florida, then to Wisconsin and now Vegas (I will finish my career here). I have maxed out on my potential. I'm committed to providing consistency to my kids as they enter junior high/high school and to provide to them the opportunity for a college education. It's taken care of.

To your point, I think my wife needs to recognize this and not take it for granted. I came from nothing...poor and from a large family. My dad taught me commitment to family and work ethic. He was blue collar (military, steel worker, professional firefighter). His lessons are not lost on me.

On another note, my wife often "goes without" because we only have one income. She doesn't have expensive bags or shoes, doesn't regularly get manicures, and doesn't blow tons of dough. So in some ways, she is doing her part. I just don't think it is enough at this point.

I'm commenting, because I have experience the stay at home bored wife with three kids, it didn't end well. My second wife of 20 years a stay at home mom with two boys 5 and 10 has never said or had the time to say she is bored nor my kids. It would crush my wife if told her she wasn't contributing enough. I was reminded how important she was when she got that flu bug and was bedridden for two weeks. I'm a lucky man and know it, so many things could change that. Good luck man!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[TK1299]

I’m actually wanting mine to tell me I can quit my job. She has her own practice so she can handle me being a bum and just working out and messing with cars all day.
So far she isn’t going for it.

 

[jpro]

I’m actually wanting mine to tell me I can quit my job. She has her own practice so she can handle me being a bum and just working out and messing with cars all day.
So far she isn’t going for it.

You will win the internet if that happens!

 

[VegasMichael]

Working part-time and being a stay-at-home Mom still puts her ahead of most women I know. Your kids are still at the age where they want a parent around a lot so she feels needed in that respect but in a few years when they want more independence and distance from mom and dad she might change her tune and want to be more involved in a career.

 

[BrunotheBoxer]

I’m actually wanting mine to tell me I can quit my job. She has her own practice so she can handle me being a bum and just working out and messing with cars all day.
So far she isn’t going for it.

What does she practice?

I keep telling my dishwasher that I’m getting ready to semiretire. She just gives me that bitch face.

 

[AustinSN]

FWIW, my mom worked from home for a lot of years while I was younger and probably around 12 she moved the office to an actual office. So she was sort of like a stay at home mom.

It had pretty much 0 negative impact on me because by the time I was a 3rd grader I was already getting myself up and to/from school without my parents help.

I think they are probably old enough where it wouldn't be an issue.

 

[Revvv]

Not sure about this...not 100% on board. Would she do the same for you? If you said you wanted to turn wrenches all day and watch the ball game while she works, she would be down with that?

I'm self employed. This is what my wife thinks I do. Music is also included. My job is music though.

Wait; maybe I do goof off all day? Hmmmm


I'm actually in the process of looking for a regular job. I love what I do, but I had more fun when it was a hobby. For some reason the performance auto industry never felt like work. I miss it, and I am trying with all I have to get back into the field. I am being picky about where I want to work though.

Enough about me. If it really bothers you that your wife is a stay at home mom/house wife, sit down and talk to her. @Zemedici literally gave you a script to follow. Take his advice, and also share your feelings. It will go a long way.

Sent from my [device_name] using the svtperformance.com mobile app

 

[DaleM]

What does she do all day? My wife gets bored if she doesn't work.

Afternoon sex?

 

[Screw-Rice]

Afternoon sex?

Is that what brown does for her?

 

[black4vcobra]

I went this route last week. Good advice.

I showed her my retirement accounts and projections, then showed her my Roth. I am insistent that she open a Roth and max it, which means $458/month out the door, but she would have over $300k at 8% in 20 years (she is still in her 30's while I am 42). Didn't quite sink in to her. I told her another $458/month to her Roth is something I can handle, but it should be hers, financed by her. Seems totally content on my retirement and Roth, etc.

And she has the trump card...she can simply bring up the question of how it will impact the kids. She knows my kids are my heart.

Playing the kids card isn't playing fair! Your kids are old enough they don't need mom all the time.

I know how hard it is to get financial ideas across to women, especially when they are comfortable with the man doing most of the heavy lifting. My wife has been in her field (interior design) for close to 5 years and at her current company for over 3.5. She has not had a review or raise since starting even though she has taken on increased responsibility. She was afraid to ask for a raise but finally did yesterday and what do you know, she got one. It's not much and I make most of the household income but it's nice to see progress considering I've made major strides in my career in the past 5 years.

 

[TK1299]

What does she practice?

I keep telling my dishwasher that I’m getting ready to semiretire. She just gives me that bitch face.

She is a dentist.
She has some crazy idea that a man should have a job and be productive. I don’t know wtf poisoned her mind like that.
I’m slowly trying to change her way of thinking.

 

[BrunotheBoxer]

She is a dentist.
She has some crazy idea that a man should have a job and be productive. I don’t know wtf poisoned her mind like that.
I’m slowly trying to change her way of thinking.

Why does she practice it? And where does she find peeps willing to let her practice on them?

My dentists name is LouieRocco and he don’t practice.

 

[jpro]

Playing the kids card isn't playing fair! Your kids are old enough they don't need mom all the time.

I know how hard it is to get financial ideas across to women, especially when they are comfortable with the man doing most of the heavy lifting. My wife has been in her field (interior design) for close to 5 years and at her current company for over 3.5. She has not had a review or raise since starting even though she has taken on increased responsibility. She was afraid to ask for a raise but finally did yesterday and what do you know, she got one. It's not much and I make most of the household income but it's nice to see progress considering I've made major strides in my career in the past 5 years.

Home prices still going up in Madtown? We sold for a tidy profit before we left for Vegas. We were only in the house 3 years.

 

[TK1299]

Why does she practice it? And where does she find peeps willing to let her practice on them?

My dentists name is LouieRocco and he don’t practice.

Louie Rocco sounds like some guido who removes teeth rather than fixing them