when did you guys decide you wanted kids?

[Zemedici]

Terrifying. I'm 24 and do NOT want kids anytime remotely soon. Which is difficult because Tanya wants them like now.

Idk why women are programmed to just start popping out kids at 20.....never mind getting a career I guess....

 

[Famine]

I didnt want one till i had my first and only. Wife went off the pill and not even a couple weeks, she was preggers. It may happen quick for you too. I am so happy we did now. Best of luck man

 

[bosscj]

The wife woke me up at 3 in the morning telling me. She was scared sh**less and I was like YEA!!! My son just turned 2 and wouldn't trade it for anything!! I know a piece of my wife and myself will live on

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[rotor_powerd]

I know I will never understand, since I don't have kids, but it always baffles me when they say their life "never had a purpose/fulfillment" until they had kids. Makes me wonder if their life was really boring and kids gave them a 'better' reason to live, or if they are so miserable, now with kids, they are over projecting to those of us on the outside. I'm joking. I do see my friends with their children and I can obviously see the absolute joy it brings to them as a family--I'm a bit jealous sometimes that I don't feel the same need in my life.

I didn't get that either until we had them. Now I don't even remember what life was like before kids, but it wasn't anywhere near as enjoyable as it is now.

 

[jaxbusa]

Just posting on here that you're scared shows that you care and will be a good father. All of these good posts give me hope for humanity. My wife and I are 36 and don't have kids. It just didn't happen and kept putting things in the way. There are plenty of kids that I can mentor or spend time with if I want. I think I would have had kids if I made a lot more money. I know that sounds bad, and there are great parents that barely make ends meet. I just couldn't see my wife and I working full time and paying for daycare and having other people raise our child. I feel like we couldn't invest enough time. Good luck.


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[Coiled03]

Never made a conscious decision. It just kinda happened, lol.

EDIT: To be honest, I didn't think I wanted kids. But when my daughter arrived, everything changed. I can't imagine my life without her, now, and she's easily the best thing that's ever happened to me. I wish I weren't divorced, and so old. I might try having a son. But, at this point in my life, I don't think it's in the cards. I can't imagine starting over with an infant.

 

[lastcall190]

I think I would have had kids if I made a lot more money. I know that sounds bad, and there are great parents that barely make ends meet.

IMO that doesn't sound bad to think that. My wife and I work full time and have a sitter watch our daughter and a few other children, and she'll watch our next. My wife would love to stay home and watch our daughter and any others we might have, but I don't make enough money for that to happen. One day maybe I will. We just capitalize on every single second we have available with her. Weekends are 100% about spending time as a family as are mornings and evenings after work.

 

[Kiohtee]

I think we both agreed in the hospital, literally right after my NDE from my motorcycle wreck. Lol

I'm 25 now and we had our first on 7/3/16.

 

[KilledbyKenne]

My first son was kind of an oops. My wife had been told that it would be unlikely that she would ever bear children and we had come to accept that. We didn't use protection for quite a while, but it finally happened. She was pregnant and we had to make sure we were ready for the change. Over 4 years later and we have a 2nd boy as well. They (along with my wife) are my whole life. Like someone else mentioned, I don't remember what my life was like before my first son.

We were not financially stable, and having a child definitely didn't help get us there. I have worked 2 jobs for my son's entire life. It's hard to be away and miss so much of the learning and development but I'm making the sacrifice to give my kids a better life. Things are turning up now though. Got a new job that pays a decent amount more than my previous job. About 8 more months and I will be down to one job. Can't wait.

OP, good luck to you in this decision.

 

[01FR500]

I didn't know when I'd want kids until my wife got pregnant despite birth control, antibiotics reduces their effectiveness. Good financials, good house, all that jazz but was still scared shitless. Then we lost it at 17 weeks. It was heart breaking considering it was something that didn't even feel completely real to me yet. I knew I wanted kids then. We tried and got pregnant again this past November. Well, he was born 4 months early and weighed 1lb 11oz, April 12th. Lots if days and nights in the NICU. He was healthy overall considering. Every moment was worth it. He passed away 17 days later on April 29th due to an infection that the doctors didn't recognize soon enough. My heart breaks again. I want a child even more. It's only been a few weeks. I've felt what all these Dads have been talking about, how it's all worth it. It's true and you'll feel it too.

 

[Famine]

^^^^ wow man, im sorry you had to endure that.

 

[P49Y-CY]

wait, people actually DECIDE to have kids? why in the hell would anyone want to do that

 

[DHG1078]

Kids aren't for everyone. You can't be selfish when it comes to kids. They depend on you for EVERYTHING.

My wife had a health problem at one point and the doctor told her it would be difficult for her to get pregnant. 1 year later and we were pregnant, oops. lol. I didn't think I was ready when she got pregnant, and I was 25. It didn't take very long after my daughter was born for all that to change.

I couldn't imagine life without her anymore. You never truly understand the feelings parents have for their kids until you have one.

 

[black4vcobra]

We want kids and advancing age is deciding for us in the relatively near future. I'm 33 and my wife will be 31 in a month so children will happen soon (neither of us have any). We bought a house 2 years ago and this just happened 5 days ago too so we are about ready -

 

[KilledbyKenne]

I didn't know when I'd want kids until my wife got pregnant despite birth control, antibiotics reduces their effectiveness. Good financials, good house, all that jazz but was still scared shitless. Then we lost it at 17 weeks. It was heart breaking considering it was something that didn't even feel completely real to me yet. I knew I wanted kids then. We tried and got pregnant again this past November. Well, he was born 4 months early and weighed 1lb 11oz, April 12th. Lots if days and nights in the NICU. He was healthy overall considering. Every moment was worth it. He passed away 17 days later on April 29th due to an infection that the doctors didn't recognize soon enough. My heart breaks again. I want a child even more. It's only been a few weeks. I've felt what all these Dads have been talking about, how it's all worth it. It's true and you'll feel it too.

Damn...

I can't even imagine. Sorry to hear, man.

 

[Deceptive]

We want kids and advancing age is deciding for us in the relatively near future. I'm 33 and my wife will be 31 in a month so children will happen soon (neither of us have any). We bought a house 2 years ago and this just happened 5 days ago too so we are about ready -

I will be 38 next week and my wife is 35. We are about to have our first next month so do not be in a rush. Have a bit of fun.


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[Russo]

if you have to ask that question OP, you are ahead of the general population in terms of maturity and preparedness.. sounds like you'll make a great dad

just if you plan on having more than one, wait til the first one is 4+ years old.. make that second choice with experience...

 

[zeus201]

Like everyone says, nothing in life will prepare you for kids. I think it makes it worse when your wives friends are having a kid or more kids. Wife and I are both 34 and we have twin 5 year boys. It has been challenge, expensive buying doubles of everything, but such is life and we wouldn't change it for anything.

 

[DHG1078]

We want kids and advancing age is deciding for us in the relatively near future. I'm 33 and my wife will be 31 in a month so children will happen soon (neither of us have any). We bought a house 2 years ago and this just happened 5 days ago too so we are about ready -

I will be 38 next week and my wife is 35. We are about to have our first next month so do not be in a rush. Have a bit of fun.


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Obviously talk to your doctors, but right around when the mom hits 40, the chances of complications and birth defects skyrockets.

 

[lowflyn]

When I realized that the idiocracy is upon us: the less than intelligent are reproducing rapidly while the intelligent ones that should be reproducing are having one or two kids, MAYBE.

Plus after seeing the lack of athleticism from my brother in law, I feel that it is my duty to carry on my family name by having an athletic kid hahaha

besides, having kids is the only way to live forever

This is about the only reason I can see. My wife somewhat sees it that way. Together 11 years, married 8.

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