I was up early on Monday to grab 500lbs of cement for not-relevant-to-the-story project. I came home at about 0705, the wife mentioned that one of the dogs crapped downstairs, and she’d “take of it later“. I responded, “Babe, the Roomba started cleaning at 6AM!”
I ran downstair, to witness the Robot vacuum lingering (of making it’s tenth pass across the green smear on the flooring and Turkish rug. My wife did clean the carpet and flooring, but set the Roomba outside in the sun to “crust over”. In hindsight, that wasn’t a great idea, because the sh!t formed a thin candy shell on the underside of the vacuum AND apparently, the tires are ”S” rated because there’s about 60 grooves on each of the main drive wheels and they were packed with feces pieces (which is not a desirable snack).
I removed the single front wheel, threw it in a sink full of hot soapy water along with the dust bin and both rollers. The surprise beneath the rollers was compacted turds, which formed a conformal coating. The tolerance between the rollers and surrounding turd coat was similar to that found in a roots style blower, but without usable boost, only sadness.
30 minutes into the horror, I’d gone through countless paper towels, q-tips and tooth picks. It’s like detailing a car you hate, belonging to someone you hate even more. The only glimpse of satisfaction is knowing I could afford to trash my domesticated EV, but am too cheap and stubborn to toss it.
Thankfully, no turd residue was ”aspirated” through the vac-u-suck assembly, or the temptation to riddle the appliance with sub-sonic Blackout rounds would have warranted serious consideration. You can’t understand how easy changing a baby’s dirty diaper is when compared to this task. There are so many nooks and crannies - imagine cleaning Soft butter off of an English Muffin, but it’s not butter, and you have to clean it - no choice. Happy Monday indeed.
I ran downstair, to witness the Robot vacuum lingering (of making it’s tenth pass across the green smear on the flooring and Turkish rug. My wife did clean the carpet and flooring, but set the Roomba outside in the sun to “crust over”. In hindsight, that wasn’t a great idea, because the sh!t formed a thin candy shell on the underside of the vacuum AND apparently, the tires are ”S” rated because there’s about 60 grooves on each of the main drive wheels and they were packed with feces pieces (which is not a desirable snack).
I removed the single front wheel, threw it in a sink full of hot soapy water along with the dust bin and both rollers. The surprise beneath the rollers was compacted turds, which formed a conformal coating. The tolerance between the rollers and surrounding turd coat was similar to that found in a roots style blower, but without usable boost, only sadness.
30 minutes into the horror, I’d gone through countless paper towels, q-tips and tooth picks. It’s like detailing a car you hate, belonging to someone you hate even more. The only glimpse of satisfaction is knowing I could afford to trash my domesticated EV, but am too cheap and stubborn to toss it.
Thankfully, no turd residue was ”aspirated” through the vac-u-suck assembly, or the temptation to riddle the appliance with sub-sonic Blackout rounds would have warranted serious consideration. You can’t understand how easy changing a baby’s dirty diaper is when compared to this task. There are so many nooks and crannies - imagine cleaning Soft butter off of an English Muffin, but it’s not butter, and you have to clean it - no choice. Happy Monday indeed.
