What is a fair split of the monthly bills with your g/f/wife?

[Euphoric One]

So my girlfriend and I are discussing her moving in with me and I'm trying to figure out what a fair split of the bills would be. We're talking a house payment and the utilities. I've contended that we should split the bills according to what % of the household income each of us contributes. So if I make 80% of the household income, I pay 80% of the bills.

Is that fair or should I factor in that even 20% could be a bit much considering what I can comfortably afford on my income and what she can afford on her more beginner level income?

And what % should I knock off if I can PIIHB?

Naturally, she brought up that I should just let her live here for free since she is over most of the time anyway. If you know what my avatar is, you can imagine why that become an almost instantaneous argument. :fm:

 

[FL-Orange]

Basing it on income is fair as long as you don't start holding your larger share over her during arguments. When I shared with a girlfriend we split it pretty even though but there wasn't a house involved. Your title is somewhat misleading when you put wife in there, that's a whole other thing.

 

[Euphoric One]

Your title is somewhat misleading when you put wife in there, that's a whole other thing.

Why do you say that? I would think you would treat the situation the same if you're married unless the wife is a stay at home mom.

 

[BigSweezey]

If your sitting well....why not just take care of the rent and let her pay half of the utilities.

 

[swoosh_stang]

It shouldn't be 50/50 because she doesn't share ownership in the house.

Think of it this way, what would you charge someone if you were going to rent the room out?

One thing is for sure, if she is living there she should be contributing.

 

[Euphoric One]

If your sitting well....why not just take care of the rent and let her pay half of the utilities.

That would actually work out pretty well.

I'm gonna throw some numbers at her and I know she is going to bitch because she has never had to pay bills/rent/food/effing anything, so I just want to make sure I'm not being unfair.

 

[Zentenk]

Is she a responsible adult? If not kick her to the curb.

yeah dump her... just read she is spoiled so either pay for everything, listen to her nag or set her ass straight. How can you be unfair if she gets everything she wants? This isn't the 50's.

 

[snkchmr 1]

Im at about 75% at my home & it makes me mad when I think about it.

 

[jerrad]

I'm gonna throw some numbers at her and I know she is going to bitch because she has never had to pay bills/rent/food/effing anything.

You might as well breakup now. If she's going to be a B about it then it's not going to work out.

My wife and I just put all the $$$ in one account and do it that way.

 

[95oRANGEcRUSH]

That would actually work out pretty well.

I'm gonna throw some numbers at her and I know she is going to bitch because she has never had to pay bills/rent/food/effing anything, so I just want to make sure I'm not being unfair.

Time for her to grow up. Part of being an adult is paying for shit you don't want to pay shit for. If she can't be expected to do this now, it won't happen if the relationship gets more serious. Also, I would hope to hell that if any person moved in with me they would OFFER to split their share. Personally, I opt for a 50/50 approach when it comes to bills.

 

[FL-Orange]

Why do you say that? I would think you would treat the situation the same if you're married unless the wife is a stay at home mom.

My idea of marriage is old fashion. The wife and I have a checking account and a savings account. We pay our bills and such and then get our toys.

 

[tomustang]

You might as well breakup now. If she's going to be a B about it then it's not going to work out.

My wife and I just put all the $$$ in one account and do it that way.

Exactly, but it's easy to answer since marriage is easier to have joint accounts

Since the OP said house payment I don't really know if he means mortgage though.

Time for her to grow up. Part of being an adult is paying for shit you don't want to pay shit for. If she can't be expected to do this now, it won't happen if the relationship gets more serious. Also, I would hope to hell that if any person moved in with me they would OFFER to split their share. Personally, I opt for a 50/50 approach when it comes to bills.

Not only that but you would set her up for doing to the next guy, and never learn

 

[THE_STIG]

If you bring in 80% you pay 80%, if you bring in 60% you pay 60%

 

[thomas91169]

sounds like you are doing pretty well if you could afford it all yourself, so her moving in and taking over any part of the bill process is only helping you.

Id say the pro-rated division based on income percentages is a very fair way.

 

[SNCBOOM]

We each pay 50% of things that we both use and we split the rent equally. I make more than she does but I also like to pay for dinner a couple of nights per week and little weekend trips here and there. So I would say that overall it's pretty equal.

 

[yellow03cobra]

no split is fair, joint account and buy things accordingly. Bills first, fun second.

too many problems become of splitting the bills, sickness, layoffs, one partner not paying their share.... blah, blah.

Every thing depends on how serious you are with her.

 

[wundrbird]

Probably a huge mistake to let her move in, no matter what the agreement, but...

You're not married to her, so split all housing costs based on income percentages. Perfectly fair, even if she isn't on the mortgage and not earning any equity. If she were to pay any less, she'd just be taking you for a ride (not the fun kind!). You're not married, so this is just a business arrangement, essentially.

If you want truly fair, do not let her move in with you until she agrees to marry you, no matter how much she begs and pleads. Cherish your privacy and your belongings as long as you can. Once you're married, things CHANGE.

After marriage, put it all into one account and work together on a realistic budget. No split.

 

[Euphoric One]

Is she a responsible adult? If not kick her to the curb.

yeah dump her... just read she is spoiled so either pay for everything, listen to her nag or set her ass straight. How can you be unfair if she gets everything she wants? This isn't the 50's.

Haha OK, I think I made her sound worse than she is. She is a logical person, not a complete looter, she just has an entitlement mentality sometimes. Nothing that can't be remedied with a good talk.

You might as well breakup now. If she's going to be a B about it then it's not going to work out.

My wife and I just put all the $$$ in one account and do it that way.

ha see above. I couldn't do the one account thing. Even when we're married, I want to do the %/household income + separate accounts split. I refuse to answer to another human being about how and what I spend my money on. If that means marriage issues, then I guess I'm not cut out for marriage.

Time for her to grow up. Part of being an adult is paying for shit you don't want to pay shit for. If she can't be expected to do this now, it won't happen if the relationship gets more serious. Also, I would hope to hell that if any person moved in with me they would OFFER to split their share. Personally, I opt for a 50/50 approach when it comes to bills.

I think 80/20 is fair. 50/50 would be more than she makes per month :lol1:

My idea of marriage is old fashion. The wife and I have a checking account and a savings account. We pay our bills and such and then get our toys.

Yeah, I'm new school. Dual-income household and a fair split of the bills is a must. I couldn't deal with lip if I decide to buy a car or something out of "our" account.

Exactly, but it's easy to answer since marriage is easier to have joint accounts

Since the OP said house payment I don't really know if he means mortgage though.


Not only that but you would set her up for doing to the next guy, and never learn

Mortgage. That is the only area where I thought there could have been a counterpoint to my logic; someone at her income level doesn't buy a house (well, a responsible human being doesn't at least), so I wanted to make sure I wasn't bogging her down too much with the house payment share.

no split is fair, joint account and buy things accordingly. Bills first, fun second.

too many problems become of splitting the bills, sickness, layoffs, one partner not paying their share.... blah, blah.

Every thing depends on how serious you are with her.

I think you still need to budget accordingly and responsibly, but both people obviously need to pay their share and both should be understanding if one gets laid off or misses work due to sickness. I wouldn't do the joint account for the reasons above though.

Probably a huge mistake to let her move in, no matter what the agreement, but...

You're not married to her, so split all housing costs based on income percentages. Perfectly fair, even if she isn't on the mortgage and not earning any equity. If she were to pay any less, she'd just be taking you for a ride (not the fun kind!). You're not married, so this is just a business arrangement, essentially.

If you want truly fair, do not let her move in with you until she agrees to marry you, no matter how much she begs and pleads. Cherish your privacy and your belongings as long as you can. Once you're married, things CHANGE.

After marriage, put it all into one account and work together on a realistic budget. No split.

Good Lord, enough of this marriage talk! :lol: I've seen it with precisely 100% of all my married friends and coworkers, but I still can't figure out why things change so much after marriage. It's just a piece of marriage and a tax break. :??:

 

[DaleM]

I took rent, she got utilities plus cable/internet and food.
I also funded nights out.

 

[yellow03cobra]

I think you still need to budget accordingly and responsibly, but both people obviously need to pay their share and both should be understanding if one gets laid off or misses work due to sickness. I wouldn't do the joint account for the reasons above though.QUOTE]

Just understand where it goes wrong. You paid your half and she didn't. You no longer have the money to cover her screw up for what ever reason and now things just aren't so great any more. You would be better off being engaged or married or some thing more serious. Until then you are probably better off if she doesn't pay, even if she does live there.