Putting Dog To Sleep

[Iamchris]

Hey all, just looking for some like minded dog people to help me with an opinion on putting an old dog to sleep.
I have a 17 year old English Bull Terrier, that is a very good old age the breed, they usually go 12-14 years. In the past 5 years she has slowly dwindled, but the last year has been particularly tough. We had issues with bladder control and got her medication to stop it. Then the incontinence started and hasnt stopped. The vet can't do anything for it. We tried diapers but they make a bigger mess, it is disgusting.
She has to sleep in a dog crate so that she doesnt soil the house (she will walk around dropping) and she wakes up covered. She has other beds in the house too and will literally let loose in her sleep. She tries to control it but most of the time it is on the floor.
We have a 1 year old that crawls...
She sleeps about 90% of the day and doesn't really connect with the family. I am considering that she may have some mild dementia as she paces around a lot, gets confused easily, and often seems distant. She doesn't connect with us anymore, even if we lay with her she barely seems interested.
I'm not sure she has a wonderful quality of life, but she also isn't dying of anything. I think she probably does feel old age pains but I dont think anything particular is painful, if that makes sense.
She occasionally plays with our youngest dog, who is a complete pest. She is either playing with him or trying to kill him so he leaves her alone.

I spoke to my vet (my brother in-law), my wife and my brother but I still feel a little bad, like we want her gone because she isn't easy. The biggest thing is, she is hard to manage because she is so disconnected from what is going on, and she shits all over the house, multiple times every day. I'm not sure she is really loving life at this point either, I can't imagine she enjoys soiling her bed, and getting covered in shit. She kind of gets around like Eeyore at this point... like she lost her tail and doesnt really care.

We have an appointment for tomorrow and I just can't help but flip-flop on this.

Any thoughts?

Thanks in advance.

 

[mnewxcv]

Man, that's such a hard situation. We are in a similar situation with the 13 year old lab that has been the family dog since I was 15. She's blind, deaf, her hips are gone, and she often cant control bodily function. But she gets up to eat each day and each night, so she still has the will to live, and I don't think she is suffering.

17 years in your case is a long life for a pup. I can't tell you what to do, so I'm sorry if this post doesn't help you any. I think using quality of life as the best gauge though. If the dog is in pain and not really living... we don't want our loved ones, pets included, to suffer. There is a point when more of one's life is spent not living than living. We all have to call it quits some day, and while that day sucks, memories live on of a good life. I wish I had more to say, feel free to post more and keep the conversation going, I'll keep an eye on the thread. Good luck to you brother.

 

[Iamchris]

Thanks man, I appreciate it. I had a lab mix that lived for 19 years, I got him when I was 10 and put him to sleep at 29 after he had multiple seizures in a few days. That was an easier decision because he had slipped a lot and we wanted to make sure he went out well, rather than in one of his seizures, especially if we weren't home. That boy took a big piece of my heart, I never wanted another dog.
I wish I could say I knew it was this girl's time. She will probably keep kicking another year if we let her, but at some point you look at her and say, "man... is she even happy? Does she like this life anymore". My wife is the one suffering the most, as a stay at home mom currently she cleans up after her every day. Soiled bedding, mess on the floor. My wife doesn't want her coming to the new house (we are moving soon). I am sympathetic.
At the same time, I look at the dog and wonder, what does she want now? She wanders away whenever she gets the chance, part of me thinks she is ready to go find a place to die... or she really is suffering from dementia.

I think I'm going to ask the vet to give her a look before we let her go tomorrow... its the best I have for now. If he says she is good, I'll let her keep shitting on the floor for a while longer. If he supports us, I'll send her off with tears.

 

[Crimson2v]

It’s a tough decision, we had to do this with my wife’s dog a few months ago. He would crap all over the place, cry in pain in the middle of the night. He was 12-13 years old. Unfortunately they don’t seem to go in their sleep like we do. But I think you guys will know when the right time is, we can tell you and the vet can tell you but you guys need to come to peace with the situation and decide what’s best for the dog. Unfortunately our German Shepherd 8 going on 9 has been going downhill this past year, she hasn’t been right since we put my wife’s dog down. So I’m sure that decisions going to come at some point which will be absolute torture on me. We had her since she was a tiny pup. Good luck with your decision.

 

[blk02edge]

It is the toughest decision in the world.. Also cant tell you what to do but just listen to the voices in the back of your head, if you deep down know it's time then it's time..

 

[Blkkbgt]

Let the dog go, it is time. I know this sucks to hear but the reality of the situation is you are not doing the dog any favors or your family by keeping her around. Take comfort in the fact that she lived a good and long life.

We had to make this same decision recently with our Lab. He wasn't crapping all over the house but his back, rear legs and hips were gone. He would wake my wife and I up at all hours of the night to the point that we weren't getting enough sleep. For a while it was ok but I realized it was a problem when I fell asleep at the wheel one morning and hit the rumble strip on the right. This really started to scare me because my wife and I both commute 1hr+ each way to work daily.

He lived 12 long years and we spent 1k on average in vet bills with the final 2.5 costing about 2k each with surgeries and medications. I can honestly say we did everything we could for him but it was time for him to go, he lived a good life.

 

[jmsa540]

Terrible experience...

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[GOTSVT?]

Went through exact same thing a few months ago. Same symptoms, we had them come to our house and do it. we all held him while he went to a better place. Try to have them come to your house, animals never like going’s to the vets.
It sucks and I still can’t believe he is gone.
He was 17, and we felt we were being selfish by keeping him alive. You know when it’s right.

 

[PhoenixM3]

It’s sad, but just do it. You don’t need the hassle of a dying dog with everything else going down. Might as well do it with a Vet now.

 

[SID297]

I haven't been in your situation, but I'll tell you what we went through and maybe it will help inform your decision.

We had a 7 year old lab. She was the best dog you could ever ask for, awesome in every way. Her hips started to go, which was a normal thing for the breed. After an hour of hard play on the beach followed by a bath and nap she could barely get up. It was sad. We put her on arthritis meds and and changed her diet a bit. After doing so you would have though that dog was 3 years old. She had more energy, better muscle tone, and she no longer hurt after long walks or exercise. She got a new lease on life.

What we didn't know was that the meds were destroying her kidneys. Essentially, the pills that were making her life worth living was killing her. One day she got sick and was throwing up. Having 'outside' dogs growing up, I figured she had just ate something and would be over it in a day (like I had seen many times before). When she was still lethargic the next day we took her to the vet.

She was being a perfect pup even though she was sick. After a few blood tests the vet told us she was in bad shape. We didn't really believe what we were being told because she had been fine just 24 hours before. Her kidneys had basically shut down. The vet did what he could, but about two hours later she had a massive heart attack and died. My dog went from being everything you could ask for in an animal to dead in less than 2 days. It was like being hit in the stomach with a sledge hammer. We absolutely weren't ready for it.

It sounds like you guys have come to a similar situation as when our dog was seven. My advice would be to get whatever meds you can (doggy speed???) to give her a great couple of days. Feed her all the food a treats she loves, and enjoy the short time you have left. Do whatever you can do give that dog and your family one last awesome memory, and when the time comes you have to make the decision men often have to. It's not easy, but it's our duty to take care of those we love.

I'm glad for the time we had with our lab, and the extra time the meds gave us. Looking back, I'd do it over again. But it ****ing sucked at the time.

 

[7998]

That's a hard call. When my one dog got near the end I would ask him if he wanted to go for a ride, he would get up and hop into my car and we'd go. I took him to work with me and wherever I would go. The last day I asked him and he couldn't get up. He tried with everything in him but couldn't go. I knew then it was time. He could no longer live a dog's life. I tear up thinking about it. I wish you the best.

 

[hotcobra03]

I’m almost in these shoes

Neopolitan mastiff 8-10 average time

She turns 9 this mother’s day

As hard as it is

I could never let her have to live with pain or not being able to be herself
Based on her age

For me I would put mine down if she was to get sick like this.

In the past we had a pit bull.

Once we had to start carrying her outside we put her down

Sad part of being an animal lover

 

[Recon]

I’ve been on both ends of this. I lost my labs one due to age and the other put to sleep due to injuries.
The one that died of age, Recon, was me being selfish. His quality of life wasn’t good for the last 2 years of his 16 years on earth. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I struggled with it constantly. I loved him so much I couldn’t bring myself to the thought of putting him to sleep. I spent time with him and knew what I needed to do but I just couldn’t do it. The day of his passing I came to terms of what I should do and the pain was unreal. I did what I always did that morning, told him I loved him and made my way to work. I didn’t feel well that day so I came home early and I found him. He had passed in their room. Though I was sad he was gone; I found comfort in that I didn’t have to make the decision I should’ve made earlier. I buried him with his sister who died 7 years earlier. I thought he’d like that. He’s been my background picture on my phone since before he passed, and my username on any forum is named after him. I still hate myself for not doing the right thing and put an end to his suffering.

Now my baby, Midnight, passed due to injuries that the vet said her likelihood of surviving the operation to fix her was nonexistent. She was a diabetic and the extensive research I did showed the life span after diagnosis is usually 3 years. She had lost a lot of weight but she was still in good spirits. About a month before her passing she started to loose her eyesight. She was at 1.5 years after diagnosis, when she was hit by a car. I was called at work and was told to rush home. We got her and rushed her to hospital. They told me what I didn’t want to hear. She was 12 years old and her condition after being hit (broken leg) along with her medical condition ruled her surviving the operation were nonexistent. I respect my vet for being truthfully honest with me as I was more than willing to try to fix her. I finally got a grip and said my goodbyes to her. I had her since she was 6 weeks old and loved her every single day of it. I can say I never want to go through that again. It took about a month for me to finally come to terms that she was gone. They gave me a paw print of hers that I have to this day on my nightstand.
I will say this, don’t let her suffer, putting her to sleep isn’t easy. It’s hard, but in the end she won’t be suffering anymore.


Pick your poison.

 

[FJohnny]

A couple of months ago we went through this decision with our youngest (8 years) and by far best golden. Impossible decision. I feel for you, man.

The flip flopping you (and back then we) are experiencing is a combination of love, guilt for giving up and an impossible mix of emotions. The answer to the question you wrestle with is probably obvious to most outsiders. The fact you feel any indecision just shows you to be a caring and compassionate owner.

An indoor dog that defecates in the house feels shame, humiliation and guilt for disappointing you. Perhaps your dog's dementia prevents this. Either way, it is no longer a life of dignity and happiness for your friend. Can there really be gain in allowing your memories of happy times with your dog shift towards memories of what your gal, your wife and you are enduring now?

At 17 years I think all would agree you and your beloved pup have both done your bit.

So easy to beak out advice from this side of the fence. So hard from where you stand. I wish you the strength and resolve to make the best decision for your family and also the peace that comes from knowing you did right by her.

All the best.

 

[DriftwoodSVT]

My girl turned 17 in Janurary. She's mostly blind and has a lot of accidents inside on our tile, but she eats her bowl full every day, drinks a lot of water and still responds to being pet and rubbed. She still like to snuggle and will lick my hand, but I'm afraid the time is quickly coming

 

[mnewxcv]

My girl turned 17 in Janurary. She's mostly blind and has a lot of accidents inside on our tile, but she eats her bowl full every day, drinks a lot of water and still responds to being pet and rubbed. She still like to snuggle and will lick my hand, but I'm afraid the time is quickly coming

With our last lab, we knew it was time when she wouldnt eat. Our current lab stopped eating and I thought it was the same thing, but it turned out she had lyme disease. The vet put her on some pills and she bounced back, only to get bloat 6 months later. She survived the bloat surgery, and 2 years later, still being a pain in the ass. I'll miss her annoying me every time I go in the kitchen.

 

[_Snake_]

I’m really sorry to hear about your situation as it sounds very similar to the one we were in. Sadly, our dog’s one year angel anniversary is today.

You are obviously a very loving and caring person who gave a dog a wonderful life. You’ll know when it’s time.

 

[fireman02]

It’s the awful part of owning a dog. Putting my previous boxer down rates up there as one of the worst experiences I’ve ever dealt with. My .02, would you want to live the way your dog has had too. For me, I’d want someone to do me the mercy of ending the misery. We aren’t able to do that for human family members, but can for our animal companions.


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[GNBRETT]

I always looked at it this way. On average a dog owner usually gets 10-15 years of pure happiness and joy owning their beloved dog vs. 2-3 weeks of misery when u put them down. I always found that to be a fair trade-off imo.

Unlike Humans, we can end our loved ones misery here. Dogs are very stoic and hide their pain and discomfort well. Try to remember that.

Ur dogs quality of life has deteriorated and isn't gonna get any better. Time to let ur baby go in peace.....

 

[Iamchris]

Ive read each response, you all have really helped me to put perspective. I am only a few hours from her appointment. I am going, that is the truth. I've told myself that I will go, and I will ask the opinion of the professionals and have her looked over. I guess on one hand there isnt finality until that moment, and that makes it a little easier.
I believe that will be her final time, and that is sad. I am going to feed her some steak for lunch. I did this with my old dog that passed at 19. He was so bad by then that he didnt even want to eat the tenderloin I bought and cooked for him. I have a feeling that she will devour it without question. That alone makes me wonder if this is the right choice.

My brother says that it is best to walk them to rainbow bridge than leave them to find it on their own. I suppose that means that it is better to take her there, be with her, and give her peace and comfort as she meets her end. That sounds great, but it also make me feel as though I am taking days from her that she may have otherwise lived.

Would those be good days? I don't know. Some days I look at her and say, and there is no way she is happy. Other days, days like today... she had a great morning. She was pretty active and seemed engaged. The bad days are no less than 50% though... and I think that is generous.
The guilt in me says it is because we have written her off and dont treat her the same. The reality is, she just isnt capable of living the life she once had.