The Redneck Welfare Office
A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.
'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'are they all yours?"
'Yep, they are all mine,' the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.
She says, 'Sit down Leroy.' All the children rush to find seats.
Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.'
''Well, to keep it simple, the boys are all named Leroy and the girls are all named Leigh Roy."
In disbelief, the case worker says, 'Are you serious? They're ALL named Leroy?'
Their momma replied, 'Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it's time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' An they all comes a runnin. An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy.'
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, 'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?'
'Then I call them by their last names.'
Politics and women:
A right ugly minger walks into Tesco's, yelling and swearing at her two kids.
One savvy bloke notices the scene and approaches her
"Excuse me hun, are those two twins"
The woman stops shouting for a moment, only to turn towards the bloke.
"Oi you stupid ****. Mind your own business you dickhead. Oh yeah, and of course they're not twins. One is 5 and the other is 9 you stupid twat. Are you ****ing blind"?
The bloke goes: "Ah right, then... No I'm not blind... I just couldn't believe anyone would shag you twice..."
Politics and women:
Toyko drift preschool