Go easy brother...
To be honest about it, I am kind of on an island. In my fervor to maximize my earnings, I traveled extensively throughout my career. I walked in & out of my family's life at my convenience. My current situation with my wife is shit. She doesn't know how to handle my illness, she lost her mother to ERSD 4 years ago. She lashes out at me, & to be honest with you I'm just done with the whole thing. Due to my medical expenses when initially diagnosed, I had to sell everything. Car, home, etc. It took 2+ years for my SSDI to get approved, and I was the breadwinner in our home. Like I said, bad decision after bad decision. I have lived a pretty full life. Seen all 50 states, had some fast cars, many positive memories to reflect on. My current medical situation gives me no quality of life. I hate being an invalid.
Favorite band would have to be the Foo Fighters, the cover of band on the run is simply awesome!On a more positive note what's your favorite song?
What was your favorite car?
You mind sharing some of your best memories?
Of course I could continue treatment. It comes down to a quality of life issue. I have always been a pretty robust person. I would love to bore you with the details of my life, but in the end it boils down to this; when most basic pleasures in life (eating or drinking or sitting or sleeping) come with a price, is it really worth it?No disrespect intended, but at 44 i say keep fighting.
You can always go back on dialysis right?
don't give up
No. It's a quality of life issue. Let me give you a small example, imagine having constant diarrhea. Every time you eat something, 15-20 minutes later you have to go to the bathroom. You can't control it, no matter what you do, no matter where you are at. I have to sleep with a pad on my bed. The diarrhea gets so bad, I have a hit myself driving. Multiple times. Now, think of the alternatives. Diapers, really at 44 I get to wear a diaper?
A combination of poor choices & chemotherapy/radiation treatment. I am here because of my ignoring countless hours of advice from doctors. I was too concerned with making $$ & keeping up with "The Jonses"
Stupid decision on top of stupid decision.
Of course I could continue treatment. It comes down to a quality of life issue. I have always been a pretty robust person. I would love to bore you with the details of my life, but in the end it boils down to this; when most basic pleasures in life (eating or drinking or sitting or sleeping) come with a price, is it really worth it?
Favorite band would have to be the Foo Fighters, the cover of band on the run is simply awesome!
My favorite memories (not including my kids, cause they trump all) revolve around my cars. Running a Superleggra down PCH and spanking that ass, cruising with the top down with my wife, late nights on the streets of mexico, having the fastest car at the "spot", meeting a few of the people that I really admire, hunting elk, man I could go on for days.
I guess that's why I'm at peace with my decision. I've lead a pretty full life. I've made my peace with God, and peace with myself.