Are you as hard on your kids, as your father was on you?
Fathers…
- Thread starter C2tuck
- Start date
Im not but i don't think it's got anything to do with being more lax with her - i was hard headed and always doing something i knew i shouldn't. Plus i think girls don't do half of the stupid stuff boys do to stay in trouble, now if i had a son i think it would be a totally different story.
About equal I would guess. He turned out to become an incredible young man!
Nope.
And I've never used "because I said so".
Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk
And I've never used "because I said so".
Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk
I have twins so it’s a constant battle of wits. I’m hard on them because men today are soft and if I make them alphas they can dominate their peers.
However, the harder I am on them the more cunning they become. They now use squad tactics like little velociraptors to outthink, outsmart and outflank their tired old dad.
If this is my last post please take care of my Cobra and know I died fighting. God Bless.
However, the harder I am on them the more cunning they become. They now use squad tactics like little velociraptors to outthink, outsmart and outflank their tired old dad.
If this is my last post please take care of my Cobra and know I died fighting. God Bless.
My dad was not hard on me as a kid. But he was such a good, honest and hardworking person that you disciplined yourself because you didn’t want to disappoint him. He was effective without being unreasonable.
I don't believe my Dad was hard on me. He was in the military and gone a lot for field training. So, when he was home he wanted to play with me and my brother. Also when he was a kid his Dad was hard on him. So, I think he was reliving his childhood through me and my brother.
Now, since my Dad was gone a lot my mom was a huge pain in the ass. I believe she was mean and strict. Spanked me and my brother. Dad never spanked us.
So, with me I think I held a double standard. With my daughters I was not very hard on them. One turned out to be a nurse and the other an engineer with NASA. Also, I didn't live with them for very long since me and their mom divorced.
Now with my step kids (son and daughter) I was a pain in the ass to them (never spanked them). I was not mean, but strict because their mom let them do whatever they wanted. They are not as successful as my kids, but they are good productive members of society and I believe I was hard on them, but I think it has more to do with my mother than my father.
Sent from my SM-G950U using the svtperformance.com mobile app
Now, since my Dad was gone a lot my mom was a huge pain in the ass. I believe she was mean and strict. Spanked me and my brother. Dad never spanked us.
So, with me I think I held a double standard. With my daughters I was not very hard on them. One turned out to be a nurse and the other an engineer with NASA. Also, I didn't live with them for very long since me and their mom divorced.
Now with my step kids (son and daughter) I was a pain in the ass to them (never spanked them). I was not mean, but strict because their mom let them do whatever they wanted. They are not as successful as my kids, but they are good productive members of society and I believe I was hard on them, but I think it has more to do with my mother than my father.
Sent from my SM-G950U using the svtperformance.com mobile app
I'm way more involved with my son than my father was me. My father was/is a fantastic father and to this day my best friend but...
I was a middle child to a young and very hard working family who were trying to make their way in life with us in tow. Because dad was always grinding at work, and my ADHD older brother required a lot of my moms time- I basically did whatever I wanted from the time I could open the back door.
In contrast. My wife and I waited until I was 35 and already had an established career, nice home and money in the bank. That allows us to spend hours every day with our single child.
Dad was probably stricter on me, but only when he was around.
I was a middle child to a young and very hard working family who were trying to make their way in life with us in tow. Because dad was always grinding at work, and my ADHD older brother required a lot of my moms time- I basically did whatever I wanted from the time I could open the back door.
In contrast. My wife and I waited until I was 35 and already had an established career, nice home and money in the bank. That allows us to spend hours every day with our single child.
Dad was probably stricter on me, but only when he was around.
Last edited:
Never had a father. So, I'd have to say no.
I think being hard headed is one thing. Being stern and teaching them a valuable lesson is where you want to be. I have a daughter on the way so I’m taking in as much knowledge on this stuff as possible.
For the most part I am a lot easier on our girls then my dad was on me.
A lot of what I dealt with growing up was because of his drinking and absolutely refusing to do something with his life. I missed out on a lot of school because he would have me working with him or pull me out early morning.
I grew up very poor and we were often on assistance with him working under the table. He's always maintained a "get buy" or "short term" thought process and attitude about life.
Our kids by contrast were brought into this world to stable parents and a stable home. We bought a house before getting married and having kids.
A funny thing actually happened last year at the dinner table. Our oldests friend was being forced to move because the landlord was selling the house. She asked us what a landlord was. I realized in that one second she didn't know because we've never been evicted or forced to move because we've never rented since she's been alive.
I actually took some pride in that one because I realized how stable of an environment we have provided them.
Growing up we had beat up cars some without AC. Hell I rode in the bed of my dad's truck laying down for 30 minutes in and out of town several times.
Contrasting back to our kids they now have heated seats in the back or my wife's Outback.
With all that said to my wife and I it's important to provide them with a stable life and make sure they have the opportunity to be the best they can.
Neither my wife or I got that growing up and I can honestly say I could have done better in life given the stability and opportunity to excel.
That's not to say I haven't done well for myself and family. We live comfortably and I surprisingly make 6 figures despite my lack of a degree.
I can be hard on them at times when needed but it's definitely nothing like what I went through. My kids don't need it often though as they are genuinely good kids.
I find myself being more instructive than anything else. I genuinely like teaching them things. I actually had our oldest doing electrical math at one point. Her head will spin when she gets into AC circuits.
We get compliments from family, friends and even strangers at restaurants because of how well behaved they are.
Time will tell if we have done well raising them and if we should have been harder on them.
A lot of what I dealt with growing up was because of his drinking and absolutely refusing to do something with his life. I missed out on a lot of school because he would have me working with him or pull me out early morning.
I grew up very poor and we were often on assistance with him working under the table. He's always maintained a "get buy" or "short term" thought process and attitude about life.
Our kids by contrast were brought into this world to stable parents and a stable home. We bought a house before getting married and having kids.
A funny thing actually happened last year at the dinner table. Our oldests friend was being forced to move because the landlord was selling the house. She asked us what a landlord was. I realized in that one second she didn't know because we've never been evicted or forced to move because we've never rented since she's been alive.
I actually took some pride in that one because I realized how stable of an environment we have provided them.
Growing up we had beat up cars some without AC. Hell I rode in the bed of my dad's truck laying down for 30 minutes in and out of town several times.
Contrasting back to our kids they now have heated seats in the back or my wife's Outback.
With all that said to my wife and I it's important to provide them with a stable life and make sure they have the opportunity to be the best they can.
Neither my wife or I got that growing up and I can honestly say I could have done better in life given the stability and opportunity to excel.
That's not to say I haven't done well for myself and family. We live comfortably and I surprisingly make 6 figures despite my lack of a degree.
I can be hard on them at times when needed but it's definitely nothing like what I went through. My kids don't need it often though as they are genuinely good kids.
I find myself being more instructive than anything else. I genuinely like teaching them things. I actually had our oldest doing electrical math at one point. Her head will spin when she gets into AC circuits.
We get compliments from family, friends and even strangers at restaurants because of how well behaved they are.
Time will tell if we have done well raising them and if we should have been harder on them.
I never met the POS. I go hard on my daughter. She isn’t telling her mother and I what to do or cursing us out so it may be working. I’m pretty strict when I think about it but that’s a good thing today.
Sent from my iPhone using svtperformance.com
Sent from my iPhone using svtperformance.com
I would say about the same. While back in the 80's my dad beat the hell out of my brother and I when we deserved it and rightfully so. Our son was a good kid, never got into trouble at school and never mouthed off at us(if he did he knew we would bury him and start over). He has grown into a good adult.
Depends on the child. One of the things that left a lasting impression on me was my Fathers wisdom in disciplining us 4 kids. He tailored the punishment to fit the makeup of each of us. For example, my older brother cherished every single penny he had. My dad punished him by taking some of his money. It was like the end of the world for him. My dad tried that with me, he said "alright Mister, that is going to cost you 5 bucks" and I was like, WOW! what can I do for $10? So that tactic did not work on me. I was the stubborn idiot that only understood pain, as in getting a spanking. Lol. My older sister hated when my dad would lecture her on why what she did was wrong, and she would ask for a spanking instead. The lecture was pure hell for her.
I used the same technique's on my own kids to good result.
One of the huge ways that raising kids has changed today, is Society having a shit fit if you punish your child in public. When I was growing up, it was no big deal. Now you have to worry if some Karen will call child services on you and try to take your kids away.
I used the same technique's on my own kids to good result.
One of the huge ways that raising kids has changed today, is Society having a shit fit if you punish your child in public. When I was growing up, it was no big deal. Now you have to worry if some Karen will call child services on you and try to take your kids away.
I agree with this whole heartedly. I used this on my step daughter. She loved her privacy. So, when she messed up royally I took her bedroom door off the hinges.
When she came home from school she was in disbelief. Her brother fell out laughing at her. She learned her lesson and never wanted to lose her bedroom door again.....
Sent from my SM-G950U using the svtperformance.com mobile app
No, my dad was not hard on me, but he was a firm believer in lighting up my butt when I was out of line. He never cussed me out or at me.
There are some things that I try to live by as a father of two young girls.
1. No secrets, only surprises.
2. No threats allowed that you do not intend to enforce. ex: If you don't do (fill in the blank), you won't get to go to Disneyland with the family.
3. Don't cuss at/out your children. Treat them with respect, so they will marry someone who treats them with respect.
4. Let your kids know that you love them unconditionally.
Sent from my iPhone using svtperformance.com
There are some things that I try to live by as a father of two young girls.
1. No secrets, only surprises.
2. No threats allowed that you do not intend to enforce. ex: If you don't do (fill in the blank), you won't get to go to Disneyland with the family.
3. Don't cuss at/out your children. Treat them with respect, so they will marry someone who treats them with respect.
4. Let your kids know that you love them unconditionally.
Sent from my iPhone using svtperformance.com
Last edited:
My dad only light my ass up a couple times that I can remember. He just wasn't around much. However, he did have a death look. If you were in the line of site "LooK OuT" his short stocky stature could catch anyone. I was harder on the first two boys, but way easier on the second two. Good mother made the difference.
Our 3 kids are each very different and get parented differently. I wouldn’t say I/we are overly hard on any of them but they definitely get checked quickly when they wander close to the boundaries.
Users who are viewing this thread
