Ex pushing hard for ADHD meds for my son(5yr old)

[blueovalfan]

My ex is pushing really hard to put my son on meds for ADHD, which I knew was coming because she is a terrible and lazy parent. She is claiming his new doctor brought it up during a check up but I doubt it considering that would have been his first appointment with this new doctor. She switched doctors after getting into a verbal argument over the phone with his last doctor for not faxing her a prescription without him seeing my son, she is one year out of nursing school so she knows everything :rollseyes.

It should also be mentioned that she is suspected of being bipolar, she admittedly has a family history of this. I took her to a counselor when we started having relationship problems and we were told that in the counselors opinion she was bipolar and might need meds to function normally(ex argued with her over that statement). I then sent her to an actual therapist which I wasn't allowed in the room during the session and my ex "didn't like what she had to say either." My attorney has a copy of the counselors transcript with some of her thoughts mixed in and it makes my ex sound like a nutcase.

I do not have joint custody, only visitation rights and I'am worried that my kid will end up doped up and staring at a ****ing wall. My son has a great personality and I don't want to lose that. Does anyone have any experience with something like this or know what I can legally do about it? I have set up another appointment with my attorney but he doesn't have an opening until next week and this situation has been constantly on my mind.

Thanks and sorry for the long read

 

[7.62x51]

Sorry for your troubles man. Does your ex have a drug history at all?

 

[blueovalfan]

Sorry for your troubles man. Does your ex have a drug history at all?

Had a mutual friend tell me she did some coke this summer and her new husband is/was on roids but its her younger sisters best friend so she isn't about to go testify for me, already tried.

 

[AznStanger3v]

I say put him in sports. Let him get the energy out. And its a positive environment

 

[blueovalfan]

I say put him in sports. Let him get the energy out. And its a positive environment

He played T-ball last year and starts wrestling this year. The **** (my ex, as saved in my phone contacts) already knows its coming and how I feel about sports so she probably won't mess with me on this. It should be a lot of fun for him and I both because I'am sure I'll help coaching this year because most of the guys who coached me when I was his age are still involved in the kids club.

He isn't a hyper kid though, so thats why I think she is fabricating this whole ADHD thing so she doesn't have to deal with having a young child who needs interaction. Don't get me wrong he is just as playful as any other 5 year old but by no means is he one of those kids that is all cracked out on mountain dew.

 

[Gray_Ghost]

I've seen first hand what meds do to kids. Fight for custody if nothing else bro. He's way to young to have PROPERLY diagnosed behavioral problems. Kids are hyper. If the ***** doesn't like it then she doesn't need kids.

 

[blueovalfan]

I've seen first hand what meds do to kids. Fight for custody if nothing else bro. He's way to young to have PROPERLY diagnosed behavioral problems. Kids are hyper. If the ***** doesn't like it then she doesn't need kids.

After the recent BS going on I don't see any other route, problem is that the last time I spoke to my attorney he didn't think I had a strong enough case to sway the judge I had last time around so he told me to wait a bit longer but he has since retired so I think we need another shot. I'am a bit intimidated due to Illinois having such a biased view on family law and custody cases siding with the mother a majority of the time. My son gets so upset when he has to go home on Sundays and its heart breaking to try to explain things to him when he asks why he can't stay with me. :nonono:

 

[CobraBob]

Too many kids today with any number of learning/behavioral issues (some a result of poor parenting) are labeled with ADHD. If you can, I would push for a second opinion.

 

[blueovalfan]

Too many kids today with any number of learning/behavioral issues (some a result of poor parenting) are labeled with ADHD. If you can, I would push for a second opinion.

Thanks bob, I tried talking to her about letting me be involved in the evaluation and Dr visits but she refused and said I could only read the results. I also tried being civil but she is more interested in trying to anger me by playing games and insulting me so I guess this is all going to have to go back to court. She REALLY got pissed when I read her the counselors transcript and asked her why she was being so hypocritical about getting medicated for mental health issues LOL

 

[RDJ]

I am not one for going to court to fight over the kids. I was divorced from the time my daughter was 10 and never took my ex back to court for shit.

That being said however, you need to do so and get her under control. if she is truly bi-polar there is no question it will hurt your kid over the long run. From what you say, she needs meds worse than him. and there are resources that will help you from a "father's rights" stand point. Here are a few links. Jump on it before she has a chance to **** up your son.

Family Solution Centers - Legal Aid for Families

www.fathersrights.org/new_page_2.htmCached - Similar

Fathers Rights: Jeffery M. Leving - Leading Family Law & Divorce Attorneys (Fathers Rights Advocates - Chicago IL)

Illinois Fathers Rights Law Firms | Illinois Fathers Rights Attorney, Attorneys, Lawyer, Lawyers in (IL) - Lawyers.com

After the recent BS going on I don't see any other route, problem is that the last time I spoke to my attorney he didn't think I had a strong enough case to sway the judge I had last time around so he told me to wait a bit longer but he has since retired so I think we need another shot. I'am a bit intimidated due to Illinois having such a biased view on family law and custody cases siding with the mother a majority of the time. My son gets so upset when he has to go home on Sundays and its heart breaking to try to explain things to him when he asks why he can't stay with me. :nonono:

 

[01Jes]

How are his grades, what do the teachers have to say?

 

[N2DAMYSTIC]

Sounds like a nightmare. Seems like there is not much recourse for you other then the court system. Best of luck and sorry your son has to go through this.

 

[blueovalfan]

Thanks for the links RDJ :read:

01jes-He is in kindergarten, so I'm not sure about how they are evaluated at that level. My ex neglected to include me is his parent teacher conference but no surprise there. Hell she won't even put me on the pick up list from school, but told me her new husband and his mother are on there (BS games). I just shot an Email to his teacher asking for a parent teacher conference if it wasn't too late and her opinion on how he acts in class so we'll see how she responds.

Thanks for the support guys

 

[01Jes]

Thanks for the links RDJ :read:

01jes-He is in kindergarten, so I'm not sure about how they are evaluated at that level. My ex neglected to include me is his parent teacher conference but no surprise there. Hell she won't even put me on the pick up list from school, but told me her new husband and his mother are on there (BS games). I just shot an Email to his teacher asking for a parent teacher conference if it wasn't too late and her opinion on how he acts in class so we'll see how she responds.

Excellent idea my friend. Consult with his teacher about his behavior and attention span. You can also set up an app with a different pediatrician for a more detailed evaluation. Best of luck.

Jes

 

[Fuerza]

How are his grades, what do the teachers have to say?

This, and along those lines how does he behave around kids his own age. I went through this same process. My son was in a pre kinder program where he exhibited extreme behaviors, couldnt and wouldn't listen to his teachers. My wife and I refused to believe he had ADHD. We waited it out, went to a pediatrician, then on to a family counslor and last to a child specialist. Long story short my 6 year old son takes ADHD medication. I hated the idea of it, but since then his school grades are a complete 180. He is very focused in class and his teach says he is one of the best students in the class. My son is now in 1st grade.

As far as parenting, my wife quit working stays home to be with our son. She ensure he has a well structured life, does his home work and is staying on track. We put him in private school (Not really necessary IMO) and he also goes to Kumon for additional school room instruction, he need help with his reading and the private school has a very strict and high criculum(sp) IMO. In kindergarten my son was be middle of the road as far as his class raking, now in 1st grade we think he will be one of the best students in the class. We as parents refuse to let him fail.

On the weekends, or 4 day weekends, holidays and even the summer between kinder and 1st. We took him off his medication. Yes he bounces off the walls and gives up a hard time, but we love him and like the challenges of teaching him how to control himself.

As far as background, I believe the ADHD comes from my mothers side. She has a son that has ADHD as a child and early teen.

Good luck! Take your time and get a second opinion.

 

[blueovalfan]

This, and along those lines how does he behave around kids his own age. .

He acts just fine, he has always been a shy kid until he gets warmed up. I have a group of good buddies and two of them have kids, one is five like my son and the other is ten and they all play together relatively quietly (for kids). My buddy was shocked when I mentioned this to him and he said "well if she thinks Bradley needs it then she would shit if she was around Kade(my buddies boy, same age)and he does just fine in school." Thats why I'm so worried about this because it seems so unnecessary.

 

[Five-ohh-Love]

DONT!!!!!!!!!

When i was young i was put on a medicine for A.D.D in around 2nd grade (called Concerta). I had horrible grades and nothing could get me to pay attention to my school work. I was diagnosed with a.d.d so they started me with a once a day pill every morning before school. It worked great when i was younger but around 4th grade it started f*****g me up. I would not talk to any one, i would not eat or drink a single thing until about 9pm when it wore off, i would not even move.. Id just sit and stare at everything. I lost tons of weight (when it was the age i should be gaining it) all while the pill was slowly wearing off and i was losing my concentration in school all over again. What does my doctor do? Gives me a bigger dose! By around 7th grade i refused to take it! All it is is a form of the drug speed and it was horrible for me. It messed with my body more then it helped my grades.

Even though there are probably better add/adhd pills out there that don't have the effects that mine did, I would say do what ever to keep him off of it. ADHD is ilke what i had but a more hyper version. If hes not jumping all over the place and getting in trouble allot in school with kinda like a "sugar high" attitude, then he doesn't have adhd. And your ex is on crack! Little kids are always kinda hyper, kindergarten age is way to early to tell if he has adhd.

 

[WireEater]

I had reasons to feel like this too because my little girl was diagnosed with ADHD. After watching her mom go through addiction and dependency on medication I felt as if this was just something to lead her down the same track. An excuse to not deal with her own issues, having something to blame her actions on.

She hasn't been on it for about 8 months now and I can tell you, she really does need it. She just has a really hard time focusing on one subject. It's been a pain, I've been trying to teach her ways of noticing when she is doing something that she shouldn't be but it can only work but so much. I will probably go a while longer just to see, but if there is a disability there, you can't deny it.

When she was on it she wasn't a "zombie" or really any different. She was just more focused and able to concentrate.

 

[Dominion]

DO NOT DO IT TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN ON TOO MANY DRUGS TO COUNT FOR MY ADHD.

My parents had me tested when I was younger and my only regret about my childhood was when they put me on meds. I was on Ritalin, Adderall, you name it I was prescribed it (Zombie pills if you will). While i was on it, i was socially awkward and it even led to sever depression because of the way it made me act in highschool. For the last 3 years of Highschool i actually threw my pills away until i worked up the courage to tell my parents i wanted off the medication.

Take it from me, get your kid active. Challenge him, tell his teachers to challenge him, get him in after school sports. For the love of God dont put him on these meds, it basically sucked the childhood from me. Now im 27, and most people dont even know about my ADHD, and when I do start to lose focus more than likely its stupid shit I already know or dont want to know in the first place.

 

[WNTACBRA]

If you live in Illinois, I have 2 words for you. Jeffery M. Leving. Look him up. You'll pay, but you WILL NOT be sorry you did. I promise.

If you have any more questions on fathers rights, feel free to pm me. It was my brother having issues with "baby momma" but I was there for him every step of the way. I went to every lawyer meeting and every court date! I personally dont know what your going through, with feelings and such, but I have an idea. I seen what my brother went through, and what the b***H put my beautifil neice through. only thing I can say is, Good luck bud. I hope everything works out for you.