Accepting another job out of state

[mikecobra01]

Hello everyone,

I am a Automotive Technician, and I was recently contacted about a position that is available. The position is at a particular company that I have always wanted to work for since I was a teenager (currently in my early 30’s). The position is located in another state.

The big hurdle, is the fact that I am married. And my spouse most likely will not be willing to move out of state. That would leave me most likely living at a hotel, or possibly my own apartment, while working at the new company, and my spouse living in our current state.

As of now, I have not had this conversation with my spouse. I’m not really sure how to approach this situation, knowing that it will most likely not head in the direction I would want. My question is, how would you guys handle this situation? Has anyone been, or currently in this situation? Has anyone worked in another state in which they reside in?

Thanks!

 

[BOOGIE MAN]

Be honest and open with management (wife) as early in the process as possible. Just have a conversation

"Nothing makes me question ALL of my life decisions like SVTP."

Posts and likes are not mine.

 

[CompOrange04GT]

Divorce

YOLO

 

[phils04gt]

I spent 7 months living in another state for a job away from wife. Went home for all holidays and whenever else I got an extended weekend. Was a job that I really wanted to continue doing but got tired of being away from the wife and the rest of my family, so i took a different job to get back home. In the end, to me, life is short and nothing is more important than family. A job is just that, a job. Just my opinion.

 

[Bronze123]

Unless your spouse plans to move with you. I would pass. You need a support team in place to take on new challenges. Can’t imagine a new state, new job and trying to manage life. All while being without loved ones.

 

[Corbic]

How far are these states? 3 hour drive or 3 hour flight?

Trying to do the out of town work will only lead to marriage problems.

"You're never around, that stupid job, you don't care about you're family, what are you doing I bet your at the bar", etc etc etc

 

[Machdup1]

One of three things will happen:

You have a strong relationship that will survive a long distance relationship.

You thought you had a strong relationship, but a long distance relation will destroy it.

It’s already over and this is your exit plan.

 

[Blk04L]

How much better pay/realistic growth is there?
Does your wife work? If she does would the other place have stuff in her field?
Cost of living in both current and new job destination?
Does she have family in current spot?


Have the talk and be honest. Maybe she'll hate it or maybe she'll move to make you happy career wise.

 

[1 Alibi 2]

You may be able to do it in the short term, but it isn't a life you want to live.
20 years in the Navy didn't kill my marriage, but a second career that had me NEVER home did..
.

 

[98 svt]

I doubt that is going to work out.

 

[VegasMichael]

Long distance relationships are difficult. Is the money worth it? You know you are going to have additional living expenses with a relocation.

 

[MG0h3]

As mentioned, talk to her about it then report back.

Why do you say she won’t be willing to move?



Sent from my iPhone using svtperformance.com

 

[72MachOne99GT]

My father-in-law did this at the end of his career. It was maybe 5 years. Older, kids grown, wife stopped working and traveled back and forth.

I don’t see how this works long term at all.

 

[Black Gold 380R]

One of three things will happen:

You have a strong relationship that will survive a long distance relationship.

You thought you had a strong relationship, but a long distance relation will destroy it.

It’s already over and this is your exit plan.

I agree with this. And I was wondering if this move could be an exit strategy????

Absence makes the heart grow fonder..... Uhh, not when it's a permanent absence.

First of all you NEED to talk to your wife about this and then determine what you BOTH feel is best for your marriage.

A relationship CAN survive long distance if there is a plan. I was in the military for 22 years. My wife and I were together for 4 years and I received orders to Germany. This meant I had to be separated from her for 2 years. I was ordered to Germany with a tour in Iraq. My wife and I talked about it and felt her being at home with family was better than her being by herself in Germany.

So, I went to Germany for 6 moths, got deployed to Iraq for 1 year and then was sent back to Germany for 6 months to out process the military and retire.

During those 2 years, my wife came to visit me the first 6 months I was in Germany. We went to Paris, Venice and seen plenty of castles in Germany. During my deployment to Iraq I was granted leave and went home to see my wife. During my last 6 months in Germany my wife came back to Germany and was there for my retirement ceremony.

Everything worked out for us, but we knew going in it was for 2 years and then we would be together permanently.

So, if you go and your wife will join you up front or at a later date or if you plan on going and then going back home to your wife you should be fine.

But, if you leave and your wife doesn't go with you or you do not go back, as mentioned, your marriage will eventually end.

So, after you talk to your wife, it will depend on what's more important to you, the job you always wanted or your marriage.

Hopefully your wife surprises you and you both come to a solution, but either way I wish you luck brother......

 

[ford fanatic]

F that.

 

[noco5.0]

I've considered doing something like this in a couple of years after my daughter graduates. My wife is locked in to a great career. I'm also in a good spot, but at some point I might need to move to get to the next level. We both hate Colorado but she loves her job. I could see it working out if I moved to somewhere we both want to be and she visited frequently and eventually relocated when she found the right position.

 

[Double"O"]

Why wont she go with ya?

 

[Blown 89]

Good luck with that lol.

 

[FJohnny]

I'm no marriage counselor but I watch a lot if TV dramas.

Doesn't it seem likely that when two married people live far apart from each other that at some point one of them will eventually end up getting a hand job from a complete stranger?

 

[CobraBob]

Be honest and open with management (wife) as early in the process as possible. Just have a conversation

"Nothing makes me question ALL of my life decisions like SVTP."

Posts and likes are not mine.

This!

You may be able to do it in the short term, but it isn't a life you want to live.
20 years in the Navy didn't kill my marriage, but a second career that had me NEVER home did..
.

And THIS! Long term separation from your family will usually end with disaster on either end. VERY difficult, especially if your spouse is not on the same page with you. She will likely constantly harbor anger for your moving on what is YOUR idea and not hers.

Which goes back to the first step of having a conversation with her. Pick the right time to do it. Allow enough time to clearly communicate your plan and why it is important both to you and your family. Hopefully you'll both come to a place where you have A plan that your believe DOES work for your family.