How many of you have been through a divorce?

[P49Y-CY]

i have been married/divorced about 5 or 6 times... only without the paperwork! and even then it was expensive lol

best of luck, hopefully you guys didn't have kids together, or if you did that they are grown

 

[TrueBlueGT]

Hasn't happened yet obviously...just got a weird vibe about it lately. She has her ideas on marriage which basically involve me doing exactly what she wants. She always says we never make any progress on our issues. I've tried to explain that her idea of progress is me doing exactly what she wants. There's no meet in the middle; only her way. I have a four bedroom house in the country that needs some TLC but she refuses to live there so instead (by her choice) we rent a one bedroom house in town next door to her parents. I've tried to get her to move to my place but she adamantly refuses. I could go on and on about stupid shit like that. She was the youngest of three kids and the only girl so the princess comes through more than i'd prefer.

 

[pho_phizzat]

Hasn't happened yet obviously...just got a weird vibe about it lately. She has her ideas on marriage which basically involve me doing exactly what she wants. She always says we never make any progress on our issues. I've tried to explain that her idea of progress is me doing exactly what she wants. There's no meet in the middle; only her way. I have a four bedroom house in the country that needs some TLC but she refuses to live there so instead (by her choice) we rent a one bedroom house in town next door to her parents. I've tried to get her to move to my place but she adamantly refuses. I could go on and on about stupid shit like that. She was the youngest of three kids and the only girl so the princess comes through more than i'd prefer.

Thats tough with her being so close to her parents.... as in next door thats too close, that could be putting alot of strain on you guys, thats a very tough situation, you guys need to move, together, and try to make it work when you are not so close to her folks that only complicates things. it needs to be you and her to get this stuff figured out. tell her that you feel like your headed down the wrong road and maybe you should talk to a marrage professional about this if you want to make it work! just my outlook

 

[Davemcc]

Just curious. My wife & I have been together for seven years, married for almost three and we're probably headed there. She's almost done with her masters and has accepted a position that will double her previous annual income. I have a feeling that once she's making enough to go it on her own then it'll be time to toss me out. Not sure that it'll be a bad thing though because neither of us are happy so this isn't a pity party thread. Sure as hell won't miss the meddling mother in law or the fights about joining her church. Just curious who's been through a divorce and how it worked out for you.

You may not fully realize how much time, stress and mental distraction getting a master's degree takes. It may not be what you think at all. She may be thinking that she's working so hard to make life better for you, as a couple, and that the effort and sacrifice will be worth the end result. I suggest that you give her some time to decompress and become settled in her new job before jumping to any conclusions or doing something stupid.

Also, a little extra effort on your part to make her feel her effort is appreciated and that you are fully committed to the relationship might make the whole arrangement better than it's ever been.

For the record, I've been divorced and it was one of the best things I've ever done in my life. I'm a big fan of divorce but it needs to be a last resort, not simply a premature escape in lieu of dealing issues that may or may not be overcome.

 

[V3NMOUS]

You know why divorce is so expensive??????




cuz its worth it!!!!

Feelin that. I got divorced after ten years of marriage, best thing that ever happened to me. Wife left me the day I found out I was going to start chemo, did the chemo got cancer free just to spite her! :burn:

 

[Common]

You may not fully realize how much time, stress and mental distraction getting a master's degree takes. It may not be what you think at all. She may be thinking that she's working so hard to make life better for you, as a couple, and that the effort and sacrifice will be worth the end result. I suggest that you give her some time to decompress and become settled in her new job before jumping to any conclusions or doing something stupid.

Also, a little extra effort on your part to make her feel her effort is appreciated and that you are fully committed to the relationship might make the whole arrangement better than it's ever been.

For the record, I've been divorced and it was one of the best things I've ever done in my life. I'm a big fan of divorce but it needs to be a last resort, not simply a premature escape in lieu of dealing issues that may or may not be overcome.

Op is not some hick from Kentucky, the man is educated and I believe has a few financing licenses as well. He chooses to be underpaid farmer for who the hell knows what reason. Him understanding her education stress is not the issue I believe. Sometimes, people stop "clicking" together and it's time to move on.

I am a firm believer that we as a specie aren't meant to be with one partner for the rest of our life.

 

[ModularFan]

this is why Ill never get married, my parent's went through it, I don't feel like splitting things with one person, especially things I earned on my own.

 

[ampstang]

Just got through one. I paid a lot of money on getting the best lawyer possible. That definitely paid off. I ended up with just about everything I wanted. It was hell for a little while, but it's a relief to have it over with. We didn't have any kids, so that made it way easier.

 

[Riddla]

Marriage is not worth it these days. ''Waits for wireater to come in and say i am wrong''

 

[RDJ]

I was divorced on December 21st, I pay out the ass in child support (totally fine with that) but i also still have to pay her car payment, insurance, and phone bill as well as all the debt she ran up for me, ,

should have had a better lawyer

If you have anykind of retirement or investments 401k she is going to get half, of EVERYTHING,

This depends on a number of factors, The State the divorce takes place in, and how the divorce decree is written and how long the marriage lasted.

if you can work it out do. you both have to try. why get married if your gonna quit. Try consoling ect ect.

this is good advice but most of the time it only postpones the inevitible.

What needs to be worked out is the details of the separation/divorce before you get lawyers involved. EVERYTHING needs to be addressed, child support or alimony if any, disposition of house/furnishings, who pays for the kids college, insurance coverage for the kids, visitation, who gets the dog yada yada yada. IF you can work that out before lawyers get involved the divorce will go a lot better and be cheaper as well.

I was married for 13 years before she decided she didn't want to be married anymore. we worked everything out and SHE paid 350 bucks to have a lawyer draw up and file the paperwork. My cost was ZERO and it was worth every dime SHE paid LOL

 

[CAPTAIN JACK]

split after college, was soooo easy to lose thought of the bitch, stayed single for some years and then met the woman of my dreams....find some coffee cans and squirl away
a divorce vacation fund.

 

[M.O.E]

Nothing last forever bottom line. So go out and get all the helment buffs you can!!

 

[swoosh_stang]

Hasn't happened yet obviously...just got a weird vibe about it lately. She has her ideas on marriage which basically involve me doing exactly what she wants. She always says we never make any progress on our issues. I've tried to explain that her idea of progress is me doing exactly what she wants. There's no meet in the middle; only her way. I have a four bedroom house in the country that needs some TLC but she refuses to live there so instead (by her choice) we rent a one bedroom house in town next door to her parents. I've tried to get her to move to my place but she adamantly refuses. I could go on and on about stupid shit like that. She was the youngest of three kids and the only girl so the princess comes through more than i'd prefer.

You better get that house out of your name if possible, when you divorce, she'll go after it.

 

[Sonic605hp]

not yet....i give it 3 years

 

[Tuyo]

Hasn't happened yet obviously...just got a weird vibe about it lately. She has her ideas on marriage which basically involve me doing exactly what she wants. She always says we never make any progress on our issues. I've tried to explain that her idea of progress is me doing exactly what she wants. There's no meet in the middle; only her way. I have a four bedroom house in the country that needs some TLC but she refuses to live there so instead (by her choice) we rent a one bedroom house in town next door to her parents. I've tried to get her to move to my place but she adamantly refuses. I could go on and on about stupid shit like that. She was the youngest of three kids and the only girl so the princess comes through more than i'd prefer.

Thats rough bro. Parents can either be helpful or completely ruinous. I have lived close to and far away from both her mom and my parents...things are so much better when the parents are visiting instead of being practically roomates. I hope you can work it out. You know what they say...prepare for the worst..hope for the best.

 

[ford fanatic]

I have...i got the house and kept all of my retirement and 401k, also I don't pay vaginamony. I did however give her a brand new jeep wrangler and 5k cash.

 

[ULTIMATE ORANGE SS]

ive seen too much divorce in my family and read about alot of horror stories to ever consider getting married.

tough thing to go through. my parents getting divorced really sucked. it was along time ago but i didnt forget it.

 

[Davemcc]

Op is not some hick from Kentucky, the man is educated and I believe has a few financing licenses as well. He chooses to be underpaid farmer for who the hell knows what reason. Him understanding her education stress is not the issue I believe. Sometimes, people stop "clicking" together and it's time to move on.

I am a firm believer that we as a specie aren't meant to be with one partner for the rest of our life.

That info about OP is not available in the first post. Yet it is still a possibility worth considering. I know of a couple strong marriages that were severely tested when one partner went back to school. In one case, my buddy getting a Ph.D was very near a divorce because the time and distraction from the marriage was causing his wife to feel somewhat abandoned. Better communication between the two led to the understanding that their feelings hadn't changed at all. It was just the circumstances getting in the way for a short time. Just because they weren't clicking at the time didn't mean that it was time for a divorce and now they are more happily married than before.

My wife is back in university now, in her 40's, and I see that she is busy, tired, distracted, whatever you want to call it. That could easily be mistaken for a lack of interest in the relationship if the proper communication weren't there. Education and relationships are different animals altogether and being good at one doesn't necessarily prepare you for challenges in the other. I've got a couple degrees myself but I don't think that is what prepared me for the stress of having a spouse back in school. Rather, it was learning from the experience of my friends that gives me the perspective to leave her be and let her get done what she needs to do without adding extra stress from worrying how I feel about the process.

 

[ModularFan]

That info about OP is not available in the first post. Yet it is still a possibility worth considering. I know of a couple strong marriages that were severely tested when one partner went back to school. In one case, my buddy getting a Ph.D was very near a divorce because the time and distraction from the marriage was causing his wife to feel somewhat abandoned. Better communication between the two led to the understanding that their feelings hadn't changed at all. It was just the circumstances getting in the way for a short time. Just because they weren't clicking at the time didn't mean that it was time for a divorce and now they are more happily married than before.

My wife is back in university now, in her 40's, and I see that she is busy, tired, distracted, whatever you want to call it. That could easily be mistaken for a lack of interest in the relationship if the proper communication weren't there. Education and relationships are different animals altogether and being good at one doesn't necessarily prepare you for challenges in the other. I've got a couple degrees myself but I don't think that is what prepared me for the stress of having a spouse back in school. Rather, it was learning from the experience of my friends that gives me the perspective to leave her be and let her get done what she needs to do without adding extra stress from worrying how I feel about the process.

Good Point!

 

[Common]

That info about OP is not available in the first post. Yet it is still a possibility worth considering. I know of a couple strong marriages that were severely tested when one partner went back to school. In one case, my buddy getting a Ph.D was very near a divorce because the time and distraction from the marriage was causing his wife to feel somewhat abandoned. Better communication between the two led to the understanding that their feelings hadn't changed at all. It was just the circumstances getting in the way for a short time. Just because they weren't clicking at the time didn't mean that it was time for a divorce and now they are more happily married than before.

My wife is back in university now, in her 40's, and I see that she is busy, tired, distracted, whatever you want to call it. That could easily be mistaken for a lack of interest in the relationship if the proper communication weren't there. Education and relationships are different animals altogether and being good at one doesn't necessarily prepare you for challenges in the other. I've got a couple degrees myself but I don't think that is what prepared me for the stress of having a spouse back in school. Rather, it was learning from the experience of my friends that gives me the perspective to leave her be and let her get done what she needs to do without adding extra stress from worrying how I feel about the process.

Very true. Another thing, education or not, people in general like their SPACE, they like their alone time. Not matter how hard they try to hide it, people, partners, husbands and wives love their space and freedom to be alone sometimes. I like not being with my girlfriend of almost three years every single day. I want to not see her for a day at times, make me miss her, get some new news or stories to share.