Your car doesn't get upset when you forget it's birthday.
You don't have to talk to your car after you drive it.
You can choke your car.
Your car doesn't get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.
Cars don't get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.
Cars don't snore.
Your car won't wake you up at 3:00 AM and ask you if you love it.
Your car won't leave you for another driver.
You don't have to pay child or income support to an ex-car.
If you say bad things to your car, you don't have to apologize before you can drive it again.
If your car doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
If your car goes flat, you can fix it.
If your car is mis-aligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
If your car is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your car is too soft, you can get different shock-absorbers.
If your car makes too much noise, you can buy a silencer.
If your car smokes, you can do something about it.
It's always OK to use tie downs on your car.
Cars always feel like going for a ride.
Cars don't care about how many other cars you have driven.
Cars don't care about how many other cars you have.
Cars don't care if you are late.
Cars don't get pregnant.
Cars don't have parents.
Cars don't insult you if you are a bad driver.
Cars don't mind if you look at other cars, or if you buy car magazines.
Cars don't whine unless something is really wrong.
Cars last longer.
Cars only need their fluids changed every 3,000 miles.
Cars' curves never sag.
New cars must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
You and your car both arrive at the same time.
You can have any color car and show it to your parents.
You can kick your car to wake it up.
You can drive a car as long as you want and it won't get sore.
You can drive a car any time of the month.
You can share your car with your friends.
You can't get diseases from a car you don't know very well.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your car.
You don't have to deal with priests to register your car.
You don't have to take a shower before driving your car.
You only need to get a new belt for your car when the old one is REALLY worn.
Your car never wants a night out alone with the other cars.
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old car after you dump it.
Your car doesn't care what you're wearing when you take it out.
Wearing four fresh rubbers makes a ride in a car more enjoyable.
The rashes you get from cars go away without those painful Penicillin shots.
You won't get into trouble for storing disassembled pieces of the car in the basement.
Disassembling the car is done out of pleasure rather than need.
Cars always sound pleasant.
Unlike women fat cars aren't cheap dates.
You don't have to talk to your car after you drive it.
You can choke your car.
Your car doesn't get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.
Cars don't get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.
Cars don't snore.
Your car won't wake you up at 3:00 AM and ask you if you love it.
Your car won't leave you for another driver.
You don't have to pay child or income support to an ex-car.
If you say bad things to your car, you don't have to apologize before you can drive it again.
If your car doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
If your car goes flat, you can fix it.
If your car is mis-aligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
If your car is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your car is too soft, you can get different shock-absorbers.
If your car makes too much noise, you can buy a silencer.
If your car smokes, you can do something about it.
It's always OK to use tie downs on your car.
Cars always feel like going for a ride.
Cars don't care about how many other cars you have driven.
Cars don't care about how many other cars you have.
Cars don't care if you are late.
Cars don't get pregnant.
Cars don't have parents.
Cars don't insult you if you are a bad driver.
Cars don't mind if you look at other cars, or if you buy car magazines.
Cars don't whine unless something is really wrong.
Cars last longer.
Cars only need their fluids changed every 3,000 miles.
Cars' curves never sag.
New cars must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
You and your car both arrive at the same time.
You can have any color car and show it to your parents.
You can kick your car to wake it up.
You can drive a car as long as you want and it won't get sore.
You can drive a car any time of the month.
You can share your car with your friends.
You can't get diseases from a car you don't know very well.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your car.
You don't have to deal with priests to register your car.
You don't have to take a shower before driving your car.
You only need to get a new belt for your car when the old one is REALLY worn.
Your car never wants a night out alone with the other cars.
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old car after you dump it.
Your car doesn't care what you're wearing when you take it out.
Wearing four fresh rubbers makes a ride in a car more enjoyable.
The rashes you get from cars go away without those painful Penicillin shots.
You won't get into trouble for storing disassembled pieces of the car in the basement.
Disassembling the car is done out of pleasure rather than need.
Cars always sound pleasant.
Unlike women fat cars aren't cheap dates.
