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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Suffering Anxiety
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<blockquote data-quote="Coiled03" data-source="post: 16191670" data-attributes="member: 18779"><p>Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Here's the problem, at least for me. If you're familiar with Myers-Briggs, I'm an INTJ which means I'm an introverted thinker. I deliberate, and think before speaking. Most people conflate that with boring, not fun, aloof, shy, quiet, etc.. Do you ever hear anyone say they want to meet somebody who's quiet, or not outgoing? Nah....me neither.</p><p></p><p>Furthermore, I live alone. I have no friends who live any closer than about 2.5 hours away. So, in order for me to NOT be alone, I'd have to go out by myself with the sole intent of meeting new people or making new friends. The problem is, to me, being around a bunch of people I don't know, trying to converse or make small talk with them, causes more anxiety than being alone. I can't even tell you how uncomfortable it is for me, trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger, or pretend like I care. In other words, to break the cycle, I have to be somebody I'm not.</p><p></p><p>I've heard people say you have to "fake it 'til you make it". But doesn't everyone always complain about fake people? How are you supposed to get to know someone based on a fake personality? I can't do that.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow, didn't mean to derail the thread with a bunch of whining. Carry on.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Coiled03, post: 16191670, member: 18779"] Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Here's the problem, at least for me. If you're familiar with Myers-Briggs, I'm an INTJ which means I'm an introverted thinker. I deliberate, and think before speaking. Most people conflate that with boring, not fun, aloof, shy, quiet, etc.. Do you ever hear anyone say they want to meet somebody who's quiet, or not outgoing? Nah....me neither. Furthermore, I live alone. I have no friends who live any closer than about 2.5 hours away. So, in order for me to NOT be alone, I'd have to go out by myself with the sole intent of meeting new people or making new friends. The problem is, to me, being around a bunch of people I don't know, trying to converse or make small talk with them, causes more anxiety than being alone. I can't even tell you how uncomfortable it is for me, trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger, or pretend like I care. In other words, to break the cycle, I have to be somebody I'm not. I've heard people say you have to "fake it 'til you make it". But doesn't everyone always complain about fake people? How are you supposed to get to know someone based on a fake personality? I can't do that. Anyhow, didn't mean to derail the thread with a bunch of whining. Carry on. [/QUOTE]
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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
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Suffering Anxiety
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