question about keeping a picture

[GrayGhost03]

my wife passed away over a year ago of breast cancer and i keep a picture of her on the dash, even before she passed i had it there. well. i met this girl and we're going out friday night and im picking her up. my question is do i remove this picture out of respect for her? it hasnt come up in conversation yet so she doesnt know the story. i feel not inclined to becasue its a part of my life, what ive been thru and kind of a homage to my wife. its also the picture of my kids mom. i feel if she's a decent girl with morals she'll understand. if we continue to go out and things get serious ill take it down. i dont know about the first date though, what do you think? thanks

 

[cd03]

personally, id leave it up ther. if ur lookin for a decent girl and i can safely assume u are, she'll see the pic, ask u about her, and want to here the story. if shes uninterested in such a huge part of your life than she has no place to be in it!

 

[slowcoupe89]

You remove the picture when you're good and ready. If she doesn't understand that and is unwilling to try then you're wasting your time.

A good friend of mine watched his fiance get into a fatal car accident 6 years ago and didn't remove it until he got engaged again. His current fiance was and still is totally understanding.

 

[GrayGhost03]

personally, id leave it up ther. if ur lookin for a decent girl and i can safely assume u are, she'll see the pic, ask u about her, and want to here the story. if shes uninterested in such a huge part of your life than she has no place to be in it!

didnt think of that, great advice. thanks

 

[lokslikasolstic]

You remove the picture when you're good and ready. If she doesn't understand that and is unwilling to try then you're wasting your time.

This

 

[cobra_4]

Yeah take it down when your good and ready, if she doesn't understand that then it isn't going to work because obviously there are gonna be bigger hurdles to get over as you move on with a new relationship other than taking your wifes picture down.

 

[WireEater]

I think you should keep it there. If she is accepts it, now would be the best time to find out and not later down the road.

 

[CBrowning84]

+1 to all the above... Leave it up!

 

[chew74]

I would leave it up as well. If your date is a keeper she will understand how that your wife shaped who you are today and be interested.

 

[My94GT]

leave it there like others have said.

 

[01SaleenS281]

Leave it up. :thumbsup:
Like stated above if she asks and gets an attitude about it after hearing about a VERY important part of your life she should be dropped off w/o dinner. It's a win/win situation.

 

[GrayGhost03]

You remove the picture when you're good and ready. If she doesn't understand that and is unwilling to try then you're wasting your time.

A good friend of mine watched his fiance get into a fatal car accident 6 years ago and didn't remove it until he got engaged again. His current fiance was and still is totally understanding.

i agree too.

all great advice. this is what i was thinking but with todays whacked out society i wanted to make sure i wasnt off base. thanks again and ill post back with what happened.

 

[FL-Orange]

My condolences, To the question, what would your wife say? I can see both sides of reasoning in this instance.

 

[nodaksvt]

leave it up

 

[jf4boogie]

My condolences, To the question, what would your wife say? I can see both sides of reasoning in this instance.

Same here...and sorry for your loss.

Ill play devils advocate: What will the girl think on the FIRST date? If you leave it up and she asks, of course you'll have to give the full story. Now it could go one of two ways: she may be a good girl and looking for something serious as well, but feel as if you still have some things to get over (and honestly I dont think its something I could ever "get over"). Nonetheless, she may think you are a great guy, but not want to get involved until more healing time has passed. Which equals you miss out on a potential "keeper".

OR

She may be cool with it and still want to pursue a relationship with you. BUT, she will ALWAYS look to see if the picture is still there and she will be focused on when you remove it as a sign of your affection for her.

I dont know bud, its a tough decision...again I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[F8LBITEva]

sorry for your loss bud. Have you thought of getting a tattoo about your wife?

 

[ShortThrow50]

simple as this, keep the picture in your house. If you have to keep it in the car and your goin on a date, then your not ready to move on. After only a year since her tragic death, you clearly not ready to move on. Are you gonna feel comfortable being on a date with a picture of your wife looking at both of you in the car? Your not ready

 

[ShortThrow50]

sorry for your loss bud. Have you thought of getting a tattoo about your wife?

No offence but that is not a good idea. It will be tough but he has a whole life ahead of him and has to find the strength to move on someday

 

[Phallen]

You remove the picture when you're good and ready. If she doesn't understand that and is unwilling to try then you're wasting your time.

This is all you need to read. Don't make it complicated. When you're ready, you're ready. You do not have to remove it to be considerate. It's all you, and you keep that photo up for as long as you want.

 

[RedRocketMike]

I'm going to disagree with everyone. I would take the picture down. After she gets in the car and notices the picture she will ask about it. Personally, I would not want to explain that situation to someone at the beginning of a first date. It could be uncomfortable for her and potentially sour the atmosphere for good chemistry. By removing the picture you will get to decide when is the right time to tell her.