Quarter life crisis. Who’s had it?

[mcaligiuri]

Feel like I’m having the beginnings of a quarter life crisis. I’m 32 married with two kids. All major milestones (house, marriage, kids) I’ve reached. I feel like my life is like the movie groundhogs day, same stuff over and over. Anyone else go through this? I’m becoming more concerned with my appearance, wanting to make drastic changes and limit my responsibilities. I’m unhappy with my life yet I have everything someone could want. Any guidance I feel lost

 

[Revvv]

Welcome to life as an adult.

Enjoy what you have. Take nothing for granted. People are more important than stuff.

It can all be gone in an instant.

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[ToddW702]

Be proud of your family and what you have built. I find that a lot of people want a different life then what they have. Family is a time consumer and you have to except that. But there is nothing wrong with laying down on the floor with your children and playing like you are a kid yourself and they will love it. No one thinks your less of a man for being a dad, in fact I have more respect for people who spend time with their family and build memories than those who leave mom at home while they always hang out with friends and do the “single” thing at bars and the like.

Find joy in raising good children and loving your wife also make sure to make a little time for your hobbies. And if you can get them interested in your hobbies that is a plus.

Good luck.


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[Revvv]

Be proud of your family and what you have built. I find that a lot of people want a different life then what they have. Family is a time consumer and you have to except that. But there is nothing wrong with laying down on the floor with your children and playing like you are a kid yourself and they will love it. No one thinks your less of a man for being a dad, in fact I have more respect for people who spend time with their family and build memories than those who leave mom at home while they always hang out with friends and do the “single” thing at bars and the like.

Find joy in raising good children and loving your wife also make sure to make a little time for your hobbies. And if you can get them interested in your hobbies that is a plus.

Good luck.


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True story

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[PaxtonShelby]

Quarter-life? So you’re going to live to be 128 years old?

 

[Outlaw99]

Sounds like you need a jeep. Youll see life differently behind the wheel.

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[bglf83]

Feel like I’m having the beginnings of a quarter life crisis. I’m 32 married with two kids. All major milestones (house, marriage, kids) I’ve reached. I feel like my life is like the movie groundhogs day, same stuff over and over. Anyone else go through this? I’m becoming more concerned with my appearance, wanting to make drastic changes and limit my responsibilities. I’m unhappy with my life yet I have everything someone could want. Any guidance I feel lost

unless you think you are going to make it to 120 its probably closer to a mid life crisis.

what are your hobbies?

 

[CV355]

Feel like I’m having the beginnings of a quarter life crisis. I’m 32 married with two kids. All major milestones (house, marriage, kids) I’ve reached. I feel like my life is like the movie groundhogs day, same stuff over and over. Anyone else go through this? I’m becoming more concerned with my appearance, wanting to make drastic changes and limit my responsibilities. I’m unhappy with my life yet I have everything someone could want. Any guidance I feel lost

I feel the same, minus kids. Hit the peak of my career last year, decided I was happier in the trenches than spending 10 hours a day in meetings to discuss BS that doesn't matter. (side note: 9/10 people schedule meetings to create a false sense of purpose)

Now is the time to slow down and smell the roses. Focus on you, family, etc. Whatever you do, don't make the same mistake(s) I have by putting too much focus on material things to "pull you" through doldrums or rough times. I used to convince myself that "it's ok, keep your eye on the prize and you'll get through this" when working stupid hours, but as you put it, it becomes repetitious. Unnecessary stress has so much more of an effect now at our age than it did when we were younger. I used to be able to work like an ox, drink nothing but coffee, and live off 3 hours of sleep. Now, haha, nope.

Any investment (not talking money here), you make to yourself and your family right now is going to compound over time. Limiting your responsibilities gives you more time. Anything you can do to free up time without negatively affecting other things is a wise choice.

Do you have any hobbies/interests where you'd like to sharpen your skills? For instance, I'm investing my time heavily into getting more technical on the guitar. I've been playing for 18 years but never really put much focus on perfecting technique. It's something to build on. Doesn't have to be a musical instrument, this is just an example.

 

[04YellowGT]

I'll be 30 in a few months, married, house, no kids (yet). I 'm happy and ready for some little ones, beyond that I couldn't really ask for more. Sure I wouldn't mind adding another 0 to the paycheck and would love to add a few more cars to the garage but its not something that bothers me.

We live in a time where we can easily see at what others have (FB, Instagram, etc.) and therefore always want more or feel like we have less. I know people that "show off" and brag about what they have on those sites and its just that, a show.

 

[Zemedici]

Sounds like you need a jeep. Youll see life differently behind the wheel.

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Jeez kris, you’re like a walking Jeep billboard.

OP, i think you need 1000rwhp, and Friday night racing with the guys

@mcaligiuri you need some adrenaline plain and simple.

 

[SVTdreamin04]

Get to know your wife and kids more. They can't be that boring to where you feel like life is repetitive. Find time for yourself as well but don't become selfish with that time. I'm sure everyone person goes through what you're going through, but come out on top with your family still intact.

Be spontaneous, do something that you would never see yourself doing. Include your family in whatever it is you decide.

But always keep this in mind....your life can change in an instant for the worse, so enjoy your family and what you have. Don't ever let your unhappiness affect them.


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[mcaligiuri]

Be proud of your family and what you have built. I find that a lot of people want a different life then what they have. Family is a time consumer and you have to except that. But there is nothing wrong with laying down on the floor with your children and playing like you are a kid yourself and they will love it. No one thinks your less of a man for being a dad, in fact I have more respect for people who spend time with their family and build memories than those who leave mom at home while they always hang out with friends and do the “single” thing at bars and the like.

Find joy in raising good children and loving your wife also make sure to make a little time for your hobbies. And if you can get them interested in your hobbies that is a plus.

Good luck.


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I used to have hobbies like working on my cobra or riding my motorcycle. Now there is no time. Got laid off twice in past 6 years so I sold the bike and took the mustang off the road so I could pay the bills and support my family. Me and my wife work opposite shifts and have no days off together unless one calls out sick. Just feel like something has to change I can’t keep living like this. Thanks for all the supportive words guys!

 

[Screw-Rice]

Buy a Viper and gold chain.

Sounds like you and the wife need a week to get away, then one of you needs a schedule change.

 

[DaleM]

Turn off tv, do more sith the kids, show real appreciation to your wife.

Expand your social circle if you have one. If you don't, make one.

Discover new hobbies?

When you say you do not have time to do the things you used to, what do you mean? What has eaten away time you used to have?

Before solving a problem identify the problem or even if you have problems at all.

If you hate feeling that way have you asked those closest to you how they feel? Do they know how you feel?



SVTP, don't b rollin' while u Massholin'

 

[mcaligiuri]

Turn off tv, do more sith the kids, show real appreciation to your wife.

Expand your social circle if you have one. If you don't, make one.

Discover new hobbies?

When you say you do not have time to do the things you used to, what do you mean? What has eaten away time you used to have?

Before solving a problem identify the problem or even if you have problems at all.

If you hate feeling that way have you asked those closest to you how they feel? Do they know how you feel?



SVTP, don't b rollin' while u Massholin'

Because of opposite shifts with wife we each have to take care of the kids when the other works. So little downtime to do a hobby right now. My kids are 6 and 3 so they need my help all the time and I don’t mind it. I do wish I had some me time and date nights with the wife. We are lucky if we get 1 date every three months. We have a good relationship it’s really hard though not being a family. I feel like a single parent having to do so much alone. Unfortunately there is no way around this right now. She has better benefits than me and since I lost my job twice since we had kids her job helps. Her hours are worse than mine (mid shift) no weekends off. I’m off weekends and work day shift.

 

[PaxtonShelby]

Lots of good advice so far, aside from the Viper & gold chain suggestion .

Hang in there. As was said a schedule/job change for one or both of you would be a big help. And don’t forget...your wife has it at least as rough as you do, as she is alone with the kids as often if not more than you are. You both need more me/we/all of us time. Find a way to make that happen.

 

[Zemedici]

Is there a way to take a day off and surprise your wife? I bet it would make her year.

 

[CV355]

We live in a time where we can easily see at what others have (FB, Instagram, etc.) and therefore always want more or feel like we have less. I know people that "show off" and brag about what they have on those sites and its just that, a show.

Well said. That's one of the top 5 reasons why I deleted my Facebook page. I always felt like it was a competition until I realized that everyone just posts what they want to project. That's also one of the reasons why so many young women are growing up with all sorts of psychological issues- all those fake IG models and everyone using photoshop apps to make themselves look flawless. Messed up world.

 

[mcaligiuri]

Is there a way to take a day off and surprise your wife? I bet it would make her year.

I did on Thursday we took the kids to the aquarium. It was nice

 

[SVTdreamin04]

I've been there working different shifts. It is tough but it felt like at that time, we made more of our time we did have together.

My Aunt and Uncle were just talking about this last night. My Uncle was saying it has made things a bit rough between the two of them with my Aunt having to work 6 to 7 days a week non stop. They are in their 60 and been married over forty years.

It's tough, but you can and will come out on top.

I had another buddy of mine who done a really bad thing, which ended with him getting a divorce. I talked with him for the first time in a year or so and he told me his oldest daughter when asked what she wanted for Christmas last year responded with asking if she could change her last name to her mom's name...... Could you imagine such a thing?


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