lost a friend to cancer and have a question

[svtsmo]

Let me start off by saying: i'm posting this out of curiosity, not pity.

so yesterday morning, a friend of mine passed away at the age of 28 exactly 6 years to the day after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. now i wasn't overly close to her, we hung out in high school but sort of lost touch after (for somewhat obvious reasons) so i don't have complete details, nor would i share them if i did. anyways, when she was 22, she felt a lump on her breast and went to her doctor. her doctor performed a basic exam and basically told her that it was a cyst, that she was too young for anything serious and that it would go away and she shouldn't worry. after a few months she went back for a second opinion after it hadn't gone away. her next doctor took her more seriously, but unfortunately it was too late. not only had she been diagnosed with breast cancer, but it had metastasized to her liver and spine and was now terminal. she put up a long hard fight, and endured a cancer that spread to her brain and eventually her bones. the later of which caused complications with her treatment and forced her make the decision to stop treatment and utilize at home hospice care. that was a little over a month ago.



now as i said i don't post this for pity, but rather a question. what would you do? how would you react to such an irresponsible mistake? as far as i know, i don't think she filed a suit (she may have, i'm just not sure). i don't advocate the sue happy American way, i despise ambulance chasers, and acknowledge that people make mistakes. and while i realize there's nothing that could be done to go back and change things, but i don't think i could let something like that go unpunished.


so what would you do?

 

[ssssnake]

A basic exam? No mammogram or sonogram? Breast cancer in young women is very agressive. He was negligent in not doing either. I'm a firm believer in second opinions. If he was a general practioner, I would have gone to a gynecologist - a specialist. My radiologist told me that with sonograms, it's easy to tell whether the cyst is just fluid or a mass. I'm sorry for your friend, and I hate cancer.

If I were her parents, I think I would sue. Maybe he'd pay a little more attention in the future or at least refer women to someone else. BTW I am a 17 year breast cancer survivor.

 

[caveeagle]

My wife is currently under going treatment for late stage (3c) ovarian cancer. (just to establish my pov)

Doctors are NOT gods, and are no where near perfect. We, as patients and customers need to quit being intimidated by them and demand that our concerns be taken seriously. If you feel even the slightest doubt about your doctor, you should get a 2nd or 3rd opinion.

Over the last 18 months of my wife's treatment, I have been mostely impressed by the doctors and nurses treating her. I have also had a huge reality check about what goes on in the healthcare industry. They can be less than transparent, and are not always acting in the patients best interest. In many cases they are performing 'defensive' medicine. This is just actions that will be best defended in a court case. Not 'always' what is in the patients best interest. I can tell you that our doctors did not even discuss how aggressively we should treat my wife's cancer and the proportionate risks of side effects. Only Time will tell if the right choices were made.

 

[Coiled03]

Seems like a pretty clear cut case of malpractice to me. But, I'm no doctor and I'm certainly not close to the healthcare industry.

But as mentioned above, people have to look out for themselves. Just because a doctor says there's nothing to worry about doesn't mean you should just drop the issue if you still have concerns.

 

[ssssnake]

I am so sorry to hear this Mark. I will include you both in my prayers.

 

[jbs$]

In your health care; first lesson is that you are responsible for your own. Each of you need a base line physical ,NOW. Then investigate any and all deviations over time and understand why and what. Medical professionals do not have the time, and many do not have the training, to stay on top of your changes through life and your changing needs. You do it yourself, or die early. Now - that is a fact!

 

[Outlaw99]

my mom died in 93 at 55 years old from breast cancer. survived 5 years.

 

[Mr. Mach-ete]

Sorry to hear about your friend, she was way to young. My aunt just passed 2 days ago, cancer ate her up. She was diagnosed less than a year ago, it spread everywhere. Cancer sucks, it's scary, it runs hard in my family. Your friend and her doctor should have been more proactive, might have saved her life.

 

[Torch10th]

A doctor's opinion is just that. An Opinion. Just like any case where you have to troubleshoot something, you work off the variables that you know and the information available to you. Missing the diagnosis probably isn't malevolent as much as he made an opinion based on that facts and knoweldge he had on hand.

In hind sight, it probably would have been good to have her checked out further, but that's not necessarily malpractice. It's already been stated, at the end of the day only you really know you're body. If it feels not right, get that second opinion.

These days we ask a lot of our doctors and if they don't perform at 110% there's a large portion of the public that wants a piece of their pie. Sometimes it's warranted, other times it not.

In a case like this, if you feel strongly about it, take the higher road and spend that energy on positivity. Setup a foundation for her that helps to fund early treatment or education programs. Just because you're 22 doesn't mean cancer can't strike. I know, I lost a person in a similar situation to you via brain cancer that went undiagnosed.

That IMHO is a better way to address the concern.

 

[ssssnake]

I always get made fun of because I go to the doctor whenever I think something is wrong. My husband would never go to the doctor. I'm still standing, and he is not. Know your body. If something's not right, GO TO THE DOCTOR.

 

[greenstang1313]

i could be wrong but isnt there a certain window of time to file the lawsuit? like 3 years or something? its probably too late for them to do anything.

 

[James Snover]

They should have done an ultrasound. Masses and cysts look completely different. It takes less than half an hour and (usually a lot less than that), and has almost no discomfort for the patient. That would be my question for the doctor(s): why didn't you order an ultrasound?

 

[jason6488]

Im sorry for your loss but doctors have to play the odds. im sure you've heard the expression "if you hear hooves dont think zebra, think horse". the doctor, while wrong, was probably well within the statistical odds. its unfortunate that your friend was the one anomaly that throws the graph. again, im very sorry for your loss. its easy on the backend to make conjectures on what he should have done but she was probably a one in a million case and the default economics made the decision for him. you see the situation is more complicated than one case. there is a whole study pertaining to the cost of healthcare as relates to how many patients can be treated. as healthcare goes up (with more tests that will return thousands of negative results to 1 positive) less patients receive the benefit of healthcare because they can't afford to do so. the net effect is more people die trying to find and treat the relative statistical anomalies.

 

[YJSONLY]

It sucks what I am fixing to say but they (Drs) PRACTICE medicine! Anything major always get a second set of eyes.

For instance. My grandpa in law was told in Nov 2013 he would be dead in 6-9 months from lung stage 3 cancer at one hospital. And it was pointless to do chemo. Went to another hospital (only 2 within 60 miles from the house that is different besides being different branches) they said nope your not dying from this we are starting chemo next week. Started Nov 2012 and finished chemo and radiation in April 2013. And as of right now he is cancer free and doing just as good as he was if not better than before!!!!

 

[Satyr]

The doctor should have done one (or all) of three things:
1) Referred to specialist
2) Ordered some line of imaging
3) Performed biopsy

Honestly, most preventative medicine approaches generally identify masses (within reason) as cancers, until proven otherwise. Very sad story, and I'm sorry about your friend. Best thing we can do, as patients, is to try and stay on top of things and nip things in the bud. Sounds like your friend had the insight to get to the doctor's, it just didn't help in the way that it should. That being said, and I am abhorrently against frivolous lawsuits, I would probably seek legal representation.

 

[boostaholick]

Sorry to hear about the loss... Cancer sucks and can be down right terrible, I'm a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason" I wouldn't try and pursue anything, It will just make her passing even harder on you and others. However I would spread the word so patients of this doctor you say are aware and go get 2nd opinions.

 

[USNjocson]

If there are documents from her first doctor's visit there could possibly be a case with her family and the hospital if they so chose to file it.

My father saw a doctor back in 2005 for stomach pains and the doctor wrote in his notes that he had liver inflamation and other odd things but he did not make anyone else aware. Fast forward to 2010, 3 years after retiring from 28 years in the Navy, he goes to see another doctor for the same stomach pains and was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. That's we we found out about the doctor's notes from 2005. Long story short, I witnessed my healthy looking Dad suffer for 6 months before passing away. Caner is a terrible non-forgiving diease. He literally looked like he aged 15 years in 6 months.

To this day I would rather have my dad here than the lump some of money we won in court. I'm sorry for you loss OP, eventhough you guys werent that close, I'm sure her family is devistated.

 

[gearhead08]

This is sad.

 

[PSUCOBRA96]

My wife's cousin had breast cancer, survived clean for almost 5 years after having a double mastectomy and was being watched. She went to the doctor because she was having some issues. A few months later and she had some strange lump and the doctor basically said we will deal with it after the holidays. It was early December. About 45 days later it was determined to be stage 4, and had started to spread all over her body. 45 days of lost treatment and 2 kids with no mother now. She kicked cancers butt one time but 8 months later she passed. Don't let doctors tell you what to do, you tell them because too many of them seem to have the wait and see approach. With anything that could be cancer the wait and see is the difference between treatment and picking out your last vacation.

Good luck Caveeagle, I pray your wife kicks cancers ass and you get to grow old with your wife.

 

[svtsmo]

My wife is currently under going treatment for late stage (3c) ovarian cancer. (just to establish my pov)

Doctors are NOT gods, and are no where near perfect. We, as patients and customers need to quit being intimidated by them and demand that our concerns be taken seriously. If you feel even the slightest doubt about your doctor, you should get a 2nd or 3rd opinion.

Over the last 18 months of my wife's treatment, I have been mostely impressed by the doctors and nurses treating her. I have also had a huge reality check about what goes on in the healthcare industry. They can be less than transparent, and are not always acting in the patients best interest. In many cases they are performing 'defensive' medicine. This is just actions that will be best defended in a court case. Not 'always' what is in the patients best interest. I can tell you that our doctors did not even discuss how aggressively we should treat my wife's cancer and the proportionate risks of side effects. Only Time will tell if the right choices were made.

sorry to hear. good luck to you both

my mom died in 93 at 55 years old from breast cancer. survived 5 years.

i could be wrong but isnt there a certain window of time to file the lawsuit? like 3 years or something? its probably too late for them to do anything.

i'm honestly not sure if she did something or not. she very well may have.


some really good insight here. the one thing though, as a young 22 year old, i'm sure it's hard to question a doctor when they say not to worry. i guess when you're that age, it's hard to get past the 'i'm still young' mentality. sad regardless.