Kinda depressed, kid moved out

[Lightning Steve]

Well it had to happen some time. My son who is 24 decided to move out on his own last week. He's moved in with a couple of his buddies (seem like nice guys, responsible, working etc.). I really didn't think it would bother me as much as it has. I should be happy and I am for him, I don't know why but man does it depress me. It's just been the two of us for so long, I divorced his alcoholic mother twenty years ago (she never called, visited or even sent him a birthday or Christmas card ever and two years ago she had a massive stroke). So it was always just me and him and having him at home was never a bother. He was ready to go out on his own and it had to happen at some point but I kind of feel like crap. You think when their young that it'll be great when their grown up and on their own and you "get your life back" but it sure doesn't feel like that now.
To other who have been there, is it always like this? How did you handle things?

 

[s_x_i]

Man, I miss my Dad.

I'm 26, moved out when I was 19 and now I live in 4500 miles from him. Every time I talk to him he asks 'when are you coming home' amd it just breaks my fu<king heart.

Your son has his own life to live, but I'm sure he'll never be more than a phone call away. Let him go, he'll come back and your relationship will be stronger than ever. It's time for him to become a man, but remember... he'll always need his dad.

Wish I had mine right now...

 

[Zinc03Cobra]

sorry, it takes some getting used to.. I recently moved out (I'm 24), and I know it has taken a toll on my parents. I call them from time to time, but I know they miss me and I miss them.

I would suggest making time (rather, seeing if your son can make time) to spend hanging out.. Fishing, hunting, shooting.. MAN stuff..

haha, I only say that cause my dad and I usually do some activity like golf. even lunch is a good thing..

best of luck!

 

[08snake]

While I love my son dearly, he left the nest last August for college, Empty nesting is a whole new world and I'm loving every minute of it. While I miss him being here, we've found a freedom that I forgot existed. The OP is of course in a different situation and I fell for ya man. I imagine that it can get pretty lonely being alone at your age. That bond is a strong one in good relationships. He'll keep in touch for sure..

 

[VirtualSVT]

Shit my parents are feeling it bad.

They live in Orlando and the beginning of Feb my sister moved to Colorado and I moved to Ohio the first of May.

First time I've lived more than 15 miles from home.

 

[Mr. Mach-ete]

I remember when I left to go to college back in '86, my mother told me over the phone my father was upset and depressed because I was gone. Later that year I moved back home for a brief period of time and my father kept asking me when I was moving out! So much for the depressed guy that missed me so!:lol1:

 

[Lightningfr]

parents recently devourced dad moved out to some shitty over priced apt. just waiting for the house to sell and im out on my own..

im 22


fuc ken sucks

 

[Zentenk]

I joined the AF and ended up 1000 miles from home, everyone in my family misses me, now its harder because I'm in the desert but I'm coming home in 2 weeks so they will like that. When I get out I plan on hunting with my dad and stuff, I can't stand being away from my family, not just parents but cousins and grand parents. Have a tight family, play sports, bbq and stuff, lots of fun.

 

[Double"O"]

I moved out 10 years ago...i see my parents about once a year for about a week...sucks! They live in PA....and i have lived in NE, ME, and now FL

my dad cried like a baby the day i left for the Navy...first time i ever saw that

 

[dbmach12004]

I left my parents house when I was 19 to join the Army...The night before me and a buddy drank a bottle of Tequila and passed out on the garage floor, needless to say they didn’t have a problem dropping me off at the recruiters....lol

 

[Matts00GT]

parents recently devourced dad moved out to some shitty over priced apt. just waiting for the house to sell and im out on my own..

im 22


fuc ken sucks

My parents also divorced a year or so ago after 20 some odd years. Now my father lives in Texas and we live here. This fall Ill be leaving my mother to transfer to Auburn. I havent seen my dad in like 6 months and havent talked to him in like 3-4. I tried calling but hes always out somewhere and I can never get ahold of him. Im 19 going on 20 btw.

Its weird I guess. You just get used to seeing someone everyday then they're gone. Wasnt a surprise to me though as one was always out of town. Mother worked in Missouri for some time and prior to that my father worked in Dallas. Kind of used to only having one parent around but its still kind of weird.

 

[AUSTINSCOBRA]

I dont miss living with my dad at all. That worthless POS!!!! Living with him was a f-ing nightmare.. But I do hate it when were not on speaking terms..

I got a 5 year old son.. He just move to his own bedroom last April and I cant stand not having him next to me. I can imagine when he moves out

 

[SHOspazz92]

I myself am in the Air Force and went straight from home to Japan. Eeek. I miss my parents a ton, But more so my pops. Now that I am older Its easy for me to understand him and his ways, so the last few years have been great. Just bullshitting about cars most of the time...We also Have had an Ongoing Rivalry..between my SHO and his 5.9 R/T Dakota. Last time I talked to him he said "Your Think im going to let my son have the faster car? Hell no!"

I cant wait to get home and meet him at the strip Next year .

-Sam

 

[joshs00blkgt]

Yea i moved out as soon as i grad high school. Its kinda weird i never knew my dad that POS. Anyways ive always had a mother and she is the best thing in the world and i have had a step dad all my life. Well me and him never ever got along while i was in high school. But now me and him are pretty much like father and son. He was the best thing that happened to my family(still is). But every time i go to my moms house she always tried to talk me into staying. I love her to death but i couldnt move back home. Im 23 now. So ive been on my own for about 6 years now.

 

[Lightning Steve]

Thanks for the support guys. I couldn't imagine how a parent would feel having their son/daughter leave for the military and being really far away. I'm lucky that he is still here in town.
Have a GF, last 5 years, she's been pushing for the "lets live together" thing but I have always said not with kids involved and she still have 3 at home (13-19). Because of just how bad things were when I was married, there is just no way I want to take the chance. Told her that just her I could probably do, but with her kids being older it wouldn't work (seen this happen to to many other people). Ya it's a bit of a problem on my part. I'm in no rush and do plan on us been together for a long time so what's a few more years to wait (and have a better chance of staying together). We also work together and have a good arangement for see each other.

 

[03gtcoupe]

I hear you. My dad and I have a close realationship as well and it's tough being this far away from him. He lives in Wisconsin and I live in San Diego. I miss both my parents very much, more than they know most likely. It's tough but your son has to have his own life too. I'm sure with time it will get better.

 

[SVT04]

I dont miss living with my dad at all. That worthless POS!!!! Living with him was a f-ing nightmare.. But I do hate it when were not on speaking terms..

I got a 5 year old son.. He just move to his own bedroom last April and I cant stand not having him next to me. I can imagine when he moves out

You need to keep in mind that invariably a son is very much like his father. You may feel like he is what you called him now,but as time goes by you will find many ways that you are like him. It is a fact of nature that you will have inherited some of his traits. The best you can do is to look at what is positive and try your best to work on the negative........but you will always be like your father.

I fought that fact for many years ,and hated my father.Now as I grow older I recognize the ways we are alike and am proud to say I have conquered the negative traits and am a better man for it.

Good luck,I hope your relationship is better with your own son.I know mine is,my son and I have the closeness I only wish I was able to have with my dad. :burnout:

 

[Rdnckhoops]

I hear you. My dad and I have a close realationship as well and it's tough being this far away from him. He lives in Wisconsin and I live in San Diego. I miss both my parents very much, more than they know most likely. It's tough but your son has to have his own life too. I'm sure with time it will get better.

God, What I wouldn't give to have a close realation with my father. The sad thing is that we see eachother almost every day. He puts his business above all, and me and the rest of our family have always come second. Im glad to hear that others, fathers and sons, have such a good realtionship with eachother.

 

[moddestmike]

Me and my dad have a good realationship. When I graduated high school he refused to let me go away to college. He said that if I left Beaumont, he would not pay for college. So I stayed for two years and then left for Houston. I never asked for a penny and pay for school by myself and I think that is what he is most proud of. Its only an hour away but I rarely get to visit. He runs our family resturaunt so he is also busy. But when we get together its nuts. We clown each other all day, except for when he starts asking when am I going to graduate. Thats when I switch the subject. He graduated with an Engineering degree in 3 years, its taking me 5+.

 

[JimBobWay]

I don't see my son everyday now but he does call me about 3 times a day. IF he doesn't call, I will. His mother and I split up when he was 15. HE stayed with me for a couple of years but was getting unrulely so I sent him to live with his drunk mother. Probably the best thing I did because now he saw his mother as how she really is. Because of this, I don't think he'll drink over one beer ata time. Even bad examples can be put to good use. He calmed down after a year of that and was ready for school. I helped him through school (MMI) and he's now a motorcycle mechanic and doing well. Calls me often too as mentioned. We are very close and do things together now. IT was rough when I sent him away; wondering if I did the right thing. I was a mess but it has turned out well.

ME and my dad? I moved out and joined the Navy when I just turned 18. Went to Vietnam, started to run with teh wrong people. It was years before I talked with my folks. We're miles apart now but I call every weekend. I can't get there often and I'm just worried I won't get there before they pass on.

Some of the comments made earlier reminds me of the song, "I'm just like you dad." Heard that the other day and it brought tears to my eyes because I do see myself doing things my Dad does. I am a lot like him.