Jury duty excuses and evasion

[sharkbite]

Lemme first say this... I know jury duty is a... well... duty. However, sometimes you don't have the time or can't go. Sometimes you just can't get out of it and you get sucked into the court room. Once you're in there and the legal counsel is questioning you to find out if you're a suitable juror, what are some things you can spout off that would make them want to avoid you like the plague?

I always figured if you displayed some sort of extremism related to whatever question they were asking, you were less likely to be kept around. Example:

"Do you believe in the death penalty?"

"I believe our death penalties are too boring. We should combine it with the lotto. Shove a bunch of numbered ping-pong balls up their asses, flip the switch, and presto... The first 6 numbers that pop out are your winners! Good 'ol Family television!"

Any suggestions?

 

[TripleBlack]

"I'm racist."


You will never hear from them again.



/thread.

 

[Black Sex]

+1 on the racist

 

[awesomeman]

He said duty.
but ya do the racist thing

 

[FL-Orange]

How about you just serve the duty? I'm up for Fed jury duty on 3/1 and don't plan on skating. With federal jury duty you're on the hook for the month.

To add: There are plenty of legit excuses to get out of jury duty without lying or making a mockery of the system.

 

[pho_phizzat]

Why not just do it??

 

[ModularFan]

I think Jury Duty is stupid!, I don't see the point of it. Why should I sit on someone's case especially if has nothing to do with me what so ever. Only thing we do is decide their fate! then there right back on the streets after a couple years.

 

[FL-Orange]

I think Jury Duty is stupid!, I don't see the point of it.

Please move somewhere where you don't get due process if you don't like the system. China ranks up on that list.... :kaboom:

 

[WireEater]

I've never had it. I've been wanting to do it for ever... my wife has had it a few times.

The best way to get out of it is tell the judge that you had sex with the person being prosecuted.

 

[wvmystichrome]

My wife just appeared for her first day yesterday. The judge told them...Do not try to get out. If you are here you are a juror. He said he never excuses anyone unless they are over the age of 65 or are documented sick. Last time I was on it under the same judge a woman checked herself out of the hospital almost 2 hours away. She was receiving chemo for cancer and yet they told her to be there. She got excused but she just about did not make it as sick as she was. The judge said, Why did you not tell us you were in the hospital with cancer. She said, I called and did tell them and they told me I still had to appear and bring my doctor records. Now that was a real shame.

Just show up and do your duty. Its really not that bad.

 

[silverstang23]

Say things that are offensive.


They don't like people that know about the law either. ie. lawyers, poly sci. majors

 

[LaFlavor]

 

[yellowbra]

I've never gone to jury duty. I've been served with it but when I had to call in to check to see if they really needed me the answer was always no. There was the automated thing we had to call in every morning.

 

[65fastback2+2]

pull an obama....just call and say you are busy and not gonna show up

Obama Skips Jury Duty In Chicago Suburbs

 

[WireEater]

pull an obama....just call and say you are busy and not gonna show up

Obama Skips Jury Duty In Chicago Suburbs

:bored:

I can't believe that's even news worthy

 

[N2DAMYSTIC]

Get a DR to write you a note stating you suffer from Severe Anal Discharge.

 

[Silver2003Cobra]

I received a couple, the best one was when I was on deployment off the coast of Kuwait (on the USS Essex) back in 94.. told them sure I'd come, if they would pay transportation expenses..

 

[65fastback2+2]

:bored:

I can't believe that's even news worthy

i cant really either...but its there and fit the OP haha

 

[floyd4ford]

Good luck getting out of it.

 

[sunburned]

I got the letter for jury duty right after I graduated college. Fortunately for me, I was still working on a project up until mid june of that year and they let me off the hook.

I got called again last year and had to actually serve on a Jury. Kinda sucked but I got out of 2 days of work. Some dumbass kid was apparently selling crack behind a gas station about 4 miles from the Navy base I work on.