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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Help Dealing with Ex.
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<blockquote data-quote="ZEN357" data-source="post: 16248622" data-attributes="member: 190485"><p>My Wife and I were in the same situation. I married her when her son was 10 years old and we lived through a lot of what you are dealing with now. My wife's ex-husband married a royal B1t@h and she treated my step-son like crap for the last 9 years. The best thing I can tell you is expect to pay for everything 100% when the kids are with you and keep all receipts so when the ex says "hey, pay 50% of this bill" you can throw all the stuff you payed for 100% back in his face and then refuse to pay the bills he has when the children are with him or just ignore him. Also when you know the kids are going to spend time with him always sit and think about what situations may come up and how he will react and what he will do, then you can plan accordingly. Always try to foresee how he will act and what he is going to do. It's more or less a chess game where you try to figure out what your opponent will do next before he does it. Never say anything bad about him in front of the children, they will eventually figure it out on their own. If you do that only makes you look bad especially if you have to go back to court and the judge decides to question the children in private which does happen sometimes. I'm not going to lie to you it's a long hard road. My stepson hates his stepmother and his dad. When he realized all this he would tell his friends that I was his Father and not his Father was not his real Father. He turned 18 last year and refuses to visit his Father because of his Step-Mother. He has basically told his Father that if he wants a relationship with him he has to divorce his Step-Mother. His Dad will call and sometimes he will answer the phone and other times he just doesn't want to hear the bull crap. You also may want to talk to a good attorney and see about taking him back to court but don't do something that will make matter worse. We took he ex to court because he threatened my wife. Her ex got a piece of junk mail at their house addressed to my wife and sent a nasty email saying he checked with the post office and that he could have her arrested for that so I told him to call the FBI, CIA, NSA, Secret Service, Sheriff and the local police, because they all were gonna laugh at him. Then since I had a friend who was a lawyer and practiced family law and had been taking care of the I.T. related stuff in her office for years and she told me if I ever needed a lawyer she would work for free for me as a trade, we took the ex back to court for child support. We won and he paid us around $600 per month that was taken out of his paycheck before he even got paid. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> He sent us a nasty email after the court hearing and I politely told him that his mouth and his threats got him into that situation. He stopped his bull crap after that but my step-son's step-mother tortured him mentally and emotionally for 9 years. It cost his Father his relationship with his son. Hope some of this helps. He's a good kid and is going to college in the fall. I don't have any children of my own and never will so I have raised him just like my Father raised me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ZEN357, post: 16248622, member: 190485"] My Wife and I were in the same situation. I married her when her son was 10 years old and we lived through a lot of what you are dealing with now. My wife's ex-husband married a royal B1t@h and she treated my step-son like crap for the last 9 years. The best thing I can tell you is expect to pay for everything 100% when the kids are with you and keep all receipts so when the ex says "hey, pay 50% of this bill" you can throw all the stuff you payed for 100% back in his face and then refuse to pay the bills he has when the children are with him or just ignore him. Also when you know the kids are going to spend time with him always sit and think about what situations may come up and how he will react and what he will do, then you can plan accordingly. Always try to foresee how he will act and what he is going to do. It's more or less a chess game where you try to figure out what your opponent will do next before he does it. Never say anything bad about him in front of the children, they will eventually figure it out on their own. If you do that only makes you look bad especially if you have to go back to court and the judge decides to question the children in private which does happen sometimes. I'm not going to lie to you it's a long hard road. My stepson hates his stepmother and his dad. When he realized all this he would tell his friends that I was his Father and not his Father was not his real Father. He turned 18 last year and refuses to visit his Father because of his Step-Mother. He has basically told his Father that if he wants a relationship with him he has to divorce his Step-Mother. His Dad will call and sometimes he will answer the phone and other times he just doesn't want to hear the bull crap. You also may want to talk to a good attorney and see about taking him back to court but don't do something that will make matter worse. We took he ex to court because he threatened my wife. Her ex got a piece of junk mail at their house addressed to my wife and sent a nasty email saying he checked with the post office and that he could have her arrested for that so I told him to call the FBI, CIA, NSA, Secret Service, Sheriff and the local police, because they all were gonna laugh at him. Then since I had a friend who was a lawyer and practiced family law and had been taking care of the I.T. related stuff in her office for years and she told me if I ever needed a lawyer she would work for free for me as a trade, we took the ex back to court for child support. We won and he paid us around $600 per month that was taken out of his paycheck before he even got paid. :) He sent us a nasty email after the court hearing and I politely told him that his mouth and his threats got him into that situation. He stopped his bull crap after that but my step-son's step-mother tortured him mentally and emotionally for 9 years. It cost his Father his relationship with his son. Hope some of this helps. He's a good kid and is going to college in the fall. I don't have any children of my own and never will so I have raised him just like my Father raised me. [/QUOTE]
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