Gimmie some relationship advice...

[03Redfire Cobra]

To make a real long story short... Married 5+ years.. Getting a divorce.( not my call). She is Filipina, and we are separated now for 6 months with 3 kids togher..

Met a really nice Girl. 29 years old, Chinese, with a 8 month old, She is smart with a masters degree.. Her babies father is not in the picture...

She treats me great. Always comes over whenever I call. Buys me gifts and takes me out and pays. She is really sweet and a great person.. Basically, treats me like Gold!

Problem: She is Cute, but not normally someone Id date. Looks are ok, but not "hot" in my eyes. Now I am not superficial by any means but I do think its an issue.

We have been "dating" for a while, but now she want the relationship (she want me to be her BF).

What would you do?

 

[theDRIVER]

don't have one (best advice you could get)....

 

[rmgtc01]

I am kinda superficial b/c it is important to be attracted to a person you are with.
Think back to the first time you saw her, if she looked good when you first saw her that is good. The point comes if she still looks goo after you get to know her.

 

[hydroshutter]

Go for it. Sometimes you could devlope an attraction for a person based on personality rather than completely physical.

 

[JoeNashville]

WTF...whether you realize it or not dude, you've got baggage. For you to be concentrating on things like the looks of your girlfriends (while you're still married I might add) is asinine.

If she's willing to accept all your baggage then I'd say you have something. Of course since you're 6 months out of the relationship you were in, I'd say that your kids deserve more of your attention than a new girlfriend.

Harsh? Sure. My flame suit's on. I've also got more where that came from.

 

[03Redfire Cobra]

WTF...whether you realize it or not dude, you've got baggage. For you to be concentrating on things like the looks of your girlfriends (while you're still married I might add) is asinine.

If she's willing to accept all your baggage then I'd say you have something. Of course since you're 6 months out of the relationship you were in, I'd say that your kids deserve more of your attention than a new girlfriend.

Harsh? Sure. My flame suit's on. I've also got more where that came from.

Thanks for you comment. But thats not what this thread is about. There is ALOT of other factors about our breakup that I didnt disclose. For good reason. My dating and my relationship with my kids is handled. :thumbsup:

 

[astrocreep96]

My cousin was dating a girl a while back and he dumped her, partly for physical attraction-type reasons. He married a good looking girl, had a kid, and she turned into a bitch and left him, along with half his stuff. Now he thinks about the girl he wished he could have married (the one before, obviously).

I suppose there is a lot of other stuff to think about, but make sure you're not screwing yourself down the road. You may find yourself missing her a few years later.

 

[FliteQH]

Decide for yourself.

 

[VirtualSVT]

In my eyes theres "so hot the sun feels cold" then there's wifey material.

I don't trust drop dead goreous women that every guy and his brother wanna hump.

What's that other saying? Date bad Marry good?

Matt

 

[BlueOvalAvenger]

Its hard to give advice for something like this because we dont know all the details about everything...yet I understand and respect your reasons for you not disclosing more information. At this point in time you are going through a divorce and you've been seperated for 6 months now. Basicly you are in the clear to start dating again. Your first priority should be your children, but I am sure I don't have to tell you that. If this new woman treats you well and does things for you, I don't see what it would hurt to date her for a while. Try it out, get a feel for things and see what happens. It's not like you are getting married to her so go with it and have fun, see where it goes. If 3 months or 6 months down the road you feel that you aren't attracted to her anymore then you can cut it off and move on to something better. One thing to keep in mind is Im sure she is aware of your situation (if she isn't you should probably tell her) and she still treats you like gold, as you say. Coming into a new relationship with everything you are carrying and her still wanting to take things to the next step says a lot about this woman. You will have a hard time finding a woman that will deal with those kinds of things. It's possible to develop an attraction for someone that has no physcial connection behind it and often those kinds of connections are stronger than a physical one. Just try it out, have fun and see what happens. You're not getting any younger. Good luck. :beer:

 

[ESVEETEE]

she sounds like a keeper oke: looks are far from well ANYTHING. everyone goes downhill in the looks department eventually. 20 yrs from now that supermodel you *could* be dating, will be a fat wrinkly cow, and a bitch to boot. Go with the nice chinese girl, she deserves to be loved for more than just how attractive she is, and i hope you deserve someone who will stay with you despite all the baggage you have (even if the ex and kids are taken care of, its still baggage, youve had an entire life without her, thats baggage)
and is very very nice and treats you the way you want to be treated. i know youll make the right decision. goodluck

 

[Swing]

dude, pimp that broad A girl that pays for you, drives you around, cooks for you, does your laundry. you gotta have one of those. And just have other girls on the side, unless you want to be serious. Tell her you want to be with her and only her, and enjoy the ride. Oh yea, buy the kid something one day and she'll massage your feet.

 

[DarickPSU]

It depends

Go to town

get in your car, drive like a bat outta hell.
D.

 

[Venom_Cobra]

In my opinion you have to make the ultimate decision about whether or not to date her or not I mean this is not a wedding ring here you are just becoming her BF and also there is more to a woman than her looks she can be great looking and be a dumbass or a bitch or she could be fair and have a great personality just keep in mind that if it doesn't work out you can breakup. It's not perminant.

 

[tvguy]

Why would you jump from one relationship to another? And you BOTH have baggage!! I guarantee the relationship with this girl WON'T work out in the long run. But I can tell you've already made up your mind and are ready to jump in. The simple fact of asking "us" is trying to reasure yourself that it's OK. Fricking grow up and get back to yourself. You sound very needy and the type who ALWAYS has to be with someone. Masterbate for a year or so, figure out who the hell you really are and what you want in life and THEN get back to us.
pacotaco

 

[WantLightning]

Why the f.ck are you dating someone you aren't attracted to?

I'm sorry but you totally got yourself into this mess.. I can't believe a grown-ass man is asking a forum for advice because he's been seeing a TOTAL SWEETHEART of a girl, professed BY HIM, and yet he doesn't want to be her boyfriend because she doesn't meet up to his standards.

Anyone want to know why there aren't any decent girls around anymore? This is why. She sure as f.ck ain't gonna treat the next guy so nice.

 

[Black0ut]

It depends

Go to town

get in your car, drive like a bat outta hell.
D.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thank you... you actually made me laugh so hard I cried...

but in all honesty... you wouldn't be with her if you weren't somewhat attracted to her... how did you first meet and hook up?? cause you thought she was somewhat physically attractive...

Give the relationship a chance man, there is something there that is really worth a try...

Going throught a situation similar right now, I'm with a georgous girl right now that I deeply care about, but feel if I were to marry her, she is someone that could screw me over... There are other girls that I am not attracted to as much as the girl that I am with, but I know would be better wifey material...

It's a hard decision, I hope both u and I make the correct one :thumbsup:

 

[03Redfire Cobra]

Damn, there is some hostility up in here.. lol

I think the ones who actually had some constuctive feedback all basically said the same thing.. "Try it out...."

I just got off the phone with her I think I will see where it goes.. thanks all for your input.. :thumbsup:

~evan

 

[USMC-2-USN]

In my eyes theres "so hot the sun feels cold" then there's wifey material.

I don't trust drop dead goreous women that every guy and his brother wanna hump.

What's that other saying? Date bad Marry good?

Matt

Why do you think most military men are married to ugly ass women? If i am on deployment or TAD for months at a time i don't want to have to worry about what my wife is doing. Ofcourse this is just an observation from my 7yrs in the military...i am a confirmed bachelor because i am ugly as hell myself. Maybe i can marry a servicewoman so she doesn't have to worry about what i am doing!