So, Just out of curiosity, what is the funniest/oddest traffic stop you've ever made? I know that usually, you're not stopping someone because its something funny, but I'm sure you guys have heard it all!
Funniest traffic stop you've made?
- Thread starter Tyler72
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Not really the kind of question that the Donut Shop is for, BUT I will allow it to stay as long as it doesn't turn bad. I'm sure a lot of us LEO have some hilarious stories that may be able to share.
AND TO BE CLEAR, THIS IS FOR SITE VERIFIED LEO MEMBERS TO SHARE STORIES.
AND TO BE CLEAR, THIS IS FOR SITE VERIFIED LEO MEMBERS TO SHARE STORIES.
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I dont really have any super funny stories. nothing that stands out. just drunk stupid people doing and saying stupid stuff.
Too many to narrow down to just one story... One that comes to mind is a guy who I stopped who informed me as I was handing him his citation that he was "good friends" with an officer from my agency and when the officer found out he was cited he would be pissed. So I asked the guy who he was "good friends" with and he said my name. I looked at this guy's license again and had no clue who he was ...so I say to him "interesting, because I'm him". He turned ghost white and started stuttering about how he met me at a traffic accident he was involved in 3 years ago and I gave him a business card. Apparently that meant we were life long buddies...Anyway, never got a hearing notice or anything so I guess he just decided to tuck his tail between his legs and pay the fine and not risk further embarrassment.
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Not site verified so I guess I won't be sharing. 
I do have a funny one about "candid camera" though...
I do have a funny one about "candid camera" though...
This is an absolute true story. We had a drunk who was doing field sobriety testing. During the walk and turn, he gets to the end of the first set of steps, does a dramatic 180 turn with his fingers pointed like guns, faces the officer, and loudly shouts "Michael Jackson!"
Needless to say, he caught a DWI that night.
Needless to say, he caught a DWI that night.
LOL that one is pretty good!
Going through 13 years of memory is tough, a lot of funny (as in: wtf) and not a lot of funny (as in funny: lol). The best comedy car related incident was a injury roll-over accident into a median light post. Elderly female with a ton of junk in her car fell asleep and drove up on the median and took out a light post. I have worked midnights (2100-0700) my whole career, so it was pitch black out with the light post down, and all of this ladies property in her car had been ejected in the roll-over. The human interlude: she wasn't badly injured at all, just a c-spine and an expensive ambulance taxi, for a doctor's clearance.
I was taking scene measurements, and I had another sector car with me for traffic control, as I was working alone that night; and the fire engine that had responded with the ambulance helping put the cat-litter absorbent down for the spilled fluids. The Firefighters and one of the Officers from the other sector car and I were all talking nonchalantly, the Firefighters spreading absorbent and picking up random articles that had been tossed from the car, while I was taking measurements. About the same moment the other Officer and I noticed this one Firefighter walking around with something flopping around in his hand, while he was using his boot to move other debris, and kick the cat-litter material. What we saw was the, at least, 12" long floppy black dildo he was carrying around like a limp black salami with a oily sheen on it. We watched for a minute while he continued doing what he was doing moving stuff with his foot, when I asked him if he was going to carry that around all night? His response was "Nah, just going to put it back in the car when I get up there." So the other Officer and I look at each other and shrug, figuring this Firefighter had already rationalized what he was carrying and it didn't bother him; yet we both kind of laughed regardless. It wasn't until we laughed that it registered for him to look down and actually examine in the headlights of the fire engine what he had been carrying around now for like 5 minutes.
I have never seen a floppy foot long black dildo fly like that one did, the moment he tried to rid himself of the cargo he just, at the moment, recognized. At that point the rest of his crew and the third Officer on the scene saw what he had, and we all paused, watching the lazy arch of this flying monstrosity, so we would know which way we had to move to avoid getting hit when it came down... One of the best laughs I have had while at work.
I was taking scene measurements, and I had another sector car with me for traffic control, as I was working alone that night; and the fire engine that had responded with the ambulance helping put the cat-litter absorbent down for the spilled fluids. The Firefighters and one of the Officers from the other sector car and I were all talking nonchalantly, the Firefighters spreading absorbent and picking up random articles that had been tossed from the car, while I was taking measurements. About the same moment the other Officer and I noticed this one Firefighter walking around with something flopping around in his hand, while he was using his boot to move other debris, and kick the cat-litter material. What we saw was the, at least, 12" long floppy black dildo he was carrying around like a limp black salami with a oily sheen on it. We watched for a minute while he continued doing what he was doing moving stuff with his foot, when I asked him if he was going to carry that around all night? His response was "Nah, just going to put it back in the car when I get up there." So the other Officer and I look at each other and shrug, figuring this Firefighter had already rationalized what he was carrying and it didn't bother him; yet we both kind of laughed regardless. It wasn't until we laughed that it registered for him to look down and actually examine in the headlights of the fire engine what he had been carrying around now for like 5 minutes.
I have never seen a floppy foot long black dildo fly like that one did, the moment he tried to rid himself of the cargo he just, at the moment, recognized. At that point the rest of his crew and the third Officer on the scene saw what he had, and we all paused, watching the lazy arch of this flying monstrosity, so we would know which way we had to move to avoid getting hit when it came down... One of the best laughs I have had while at work.
Yeah she "fell asleep", sounds to me like she was playing with the black long thing with the oily sheen came to orgasmic pleasure and then crashed into the median......LMAO
That is hilarious! Keep them coming!
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man that is funny!
I work in vegas so theres always some sort of crazy shit going down. Drunks, naked people (Esp during/after EDC) just people lose their minds out here lol
I work in vegas so theres always some sort of crazy shit going down. Drunks, naked people (Esp during/after EDC) just people lose their minds out here lol
*holds back loads of entertaining info as the behest of Dougie*
Best one so far.....
Passed a truck at an intersection which was revving its engine (diesel). Thought it was some punk kids so I just looked at them. After I passed....the truck peeled out and floored it. So I got behind it and noticed it was hitting lines, serving back and forth...accelerating, flooring it, grinding gears, etc. Flipped on the lights...took about 1/4 mile for the truck to stop (thought he was gonna run). Finally stopped and he didn't put it in gear or applied parking brake when he stopped so it started rolling back...but finally stopped. SGT was with me riding passenger so he goes to the passenger side to talk them and I approach the driver. Window up, door closed...wouldn't acknowledge me. He kept paying attn to my SGT on the passenger side and the female in the truck. I opened the door and instantly smelled the beer AND noticed that his pants were unzipped and open. So I thought...ahhh he was getting a little road lovin from the passenger....
Fast forward a bit...female gets charged with drug possession and labels not on the pill bottles...driver gets charged with an OVI.
On the way to the jail...guy asks if we can call his wife and let her know hes going to jail. I thought about it for a second and thought...wait...the passenger is your wife...b/c they had the same last name. Told my SGT that and he thought they were married too. So he turns around and asks him if she was his wife and he said "no, that's my sister."
Yeah...you can take it from there what they were doing. Lol
Passed a truck at an intersection which was revving its engine (diesel). Thought it was some punk kids so I just looked at them. After I passed....the truck peeled out and floored it. So I got behind it and noticed it was hitting lines, serving back and forth...accelerating, flooring it, grinding gears, etc. Flipped on the lights...took about 1/4 mile for the truck to stop (thought he was gonna run). Finally stopped and he didn't put it in gear or applied parking brake when he stopped so it started rolling back...but finally stopped. SGT was with me riding passenger so he goes to the passenger side to talk them and I approach the driver. Window up, door closed...wouldn't acknowledge me. He kept paying attn to my SGT on the passenger side and the female in the truck. I opened the door and instantly smelled the beer AND noticed that his pants were unzipped and open. So I thought...ahhh he was getting a little road lovin from the passenger....
Fast forward a bit...female gets charged with drug possession and labels not on the pill bottles...driver gets charged with an OVI.
On the way to the jail...guy asks if we can call his wife and let her know hes going to jail. I thought about it for a second and thought...wait...the passenger is your wife...b/c they had the same last name. Told my SGT that and he thought they were married too. So he turns around and asks him if she was his wife and he said "no, that's my sister."
Yeah...you can take it from there what they were doing. Lol
I'm not a police officer, but my dad was. He passed away a little over a year ago, so I figure I'll share some of his more light hearted stories.
He was out in his car one day about fifteen years ago watching for speeders, when he saw this car swerving and hauling ass down the road he was parked next to. The car had "just married" wrote on the back glass. He flipped his light on and took off after it, pulling it over a little ways down the road.
When he got to the car and looked in, there was a half naked woman rushing to get her clothes back on and a man with his pants down. The whole time the woman was yelling and cussing at her husband and telling him "we shoulda waited til we got to da hotel!"
He ended up laughing and telling them to drive safe and save that for later.
Another time, and this one is my favorite although it's off topic, him and his partner where at a known drug dealer's house asking him a few questions. They were out there for just a little while talking to this guy when the man's little boy rolled up on his bicycle and started staring at his gun.
My dad noticed and asked him, "little man, you wanna be a cop one day?"
The boy gave him this mean look and said, "hell no! I wanna be a drug dealer just like my daddy! He's got a bunch of guns in his closet and all kindsa drugs under his bed!"
The boy's dad looked like he coulda killed him. My dad and his partner went in and, sure enough, it's all in there like the boy said it was.
He was out in his car one day about fifteen years ago watching for speeders, when he saw this car swerving and hauling ass down the road he was parked next to. The car had "just married" wrote on the back glass. He flipped his light on and took off after it, pulling it over a little ways down the road.
When he got to the car and looked in, there was a half naked woman rushing to get her clothes back on and a man with his pants down. The whole time the woman was yelling and cussing at her husband and telling him "we shoulda waited til we got to da hotel!"
He ended up laughing and telling them to drive safe and save that for later.
Another time, and this one is my favorite although it's off topic, him and his partner where at a known drug dealer's house asking him a few questions. They were out there for just a little while talking to this guy when the man's little boy rolled up on his bicycle and started staring at his gun.
My dad noticed and asked him, "little man, you wanna be a cop one day?"
The boy gave him this mean look and said, "hell no! I wanna be a drug dealer just like my daddy! He's got a bunch of guns in his closet and all kindsa drugs under his bed!"
The boy's dad looked like he coulda killed him. My dad and his partner went in and, sure enough, it's all in there like the boy said it was.
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LOL Kids
One of our local restaurants use to have a clown that worked during rush hour and made balloons for kids and some small entertainment. I was driving as part of an ADAM unit and the guy I was riding with apparently had a special hatred towards clowns that I didn't know about at the time. I mean, he is in his late 20's and was probably embarrassed. So we stop a van with, you guessed it, a clown in it. It was his turn to go to the drivers side, he goes up to the window and literally panics. He stutters, is shaking and so on. He doesn't even get ID or insurance and lets the car go. I tease him for several hours and even go to Wal Mart and buy him a clown doll when we went there later for a shoplifter. The next day he calls in sick. I call him and he proceeds to tell me when he was 7 years old he was sleeping in the front room of his parents house when they were burglarized by a man in a clown mask. I felt bad, but couldn't stop laughing.
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