Friends with Benefist relationships. How long before they imploded?

[Bad Chariot]

I split from my wife last August and started dating again right after Xmas. I have been doing pretty well with the ladies but 4 weeks ago I decided I needed to get some crap taken care of before I tried to meet someone new.

Someone came into my life, she REALLY wanted to meet me (online dating site) but I told her I would meet her to hang out but didn't want to date ANYONE. She was cool with it. By the 2nd time we hungout, it was clear she wanted something more. I repeated my stance but told her if she needed to be "serviced" I might help her out. She told me she didn't play that game.....2 days later I get a text "I am ok with friends with benefits but if it becomes an issue, we end it".

Well we have had 2 "service appointments" in the last week. She is still trying to date guys and I told her "you bang one of them, we are done, I am not playing that game". Same goes for me, I bang someone new. No more for her.

Lets keep the details CLEAN for this thread but I want to hear how long this type of arrangement has worked for others. I am just making sure I don't give her the impression we will be a couple. What are some of the warning signs that she is 1 degree away from boiling my rabbit if you know what I mean.

 

[PSUCOBRA96]

eh friends with benefits why not be allowed to have sex with others and her too?

 

[uh0h50]

How do you know she's not banging some dude on the side right now? Jus curious. And vice versa.

 

[07COBRAVENOM]

You are the male version of a clinger stage 2. Hope she is getting pounded by some black dude right now lol

 

[Stangdriver13]

I've been pulling this card for a year and half now. I broke it off once with her because it was obvious she was wanting for me to "come around" and be in a relationship. We stopped talked for about 3 months and she texts me out of the blue one day. I was upfront with her on strictly being friends with benefits. Been going on now for another 9 months with no problems but the kicker is she is not the only girl I sleep with. Not sure how long that will work with your situation since you two are only sleeping with each other.

 

[Sinister04L]

If she's only a friend with benefits what difference does it make if she's getting smashed by someone else?

The longest I've had one is about a year. We'd hook up every week or two. She started to tell me about the feelings she had and I told her to kick rocks and that was that.

 

[truefiveo]

OP you screwed up already because now she feels some sort of belonging to you since you stated,
you don't want her banging anyone else. Bad move IMO

The whole friends with benefits thing is a pile of crap its really a rule that most women can't really abide by.
All of my friends with benefits ordeals turned into woman catching feelings and then us parting ways on not so good terms.

The vagina is never totally free guys there's always a catch....come on now!
BTW sleeping over and cuddling with the women after sex is only making it worse.
These displays of affection can really put all types of feelings and assumptions in a woman's head.

BTW if you happen to knock one of these "friends with benefits"type of women up you better believe they are gonna keep it,
no matter how much they talk about not wanting kids at the moment.

My advice WRAP IT UP! and DO NOT SLEEP OVER OR CUDDLE AFTERWARDS!

 

[Sonic605hp]

It gets old or sticky real fast. Chicks say they can handle it and then come the rules, and then the request for more time together, etc...etc.....

 

[highdensity007]

Eventually it will bring drama, serious disproportional drama. If you don't want to "date" anyone don't make your profile visible during that time cause WOMEN BE LOOKIN' FOR A WEDDING DATE BRO!!!

Ok seriously, within 90 days there will most likely be a big falling out and one of the two of you is going to be mad.

 

[Bad Chariot]

I guess I should have clarified my stance on if she is with another guy I am done. NOT jealousy but it s f'n gross if I am going down on her when the night before someone else was banging her. BLEEEEEEEEHTTT Nasty. Thats the only reason.

I know there is no other guy now because of her home life. She has 2 small kids, kids father is not in the picture and her folks only help once a week. That is her night to "play". She has been upfront about the other guys, asking me advice etc.

 

[wals9331]

I had one that lasted 2 years, but we rarely saw each other. We had mutual friends so when we both happened to be at a party and single....then we were good to go. We never really spoke about it, made rules, etc. Just kind of went with it.

I think it gets hard when you see the other person all the time, or they could "pop-in" on you whenever. The girl lived a few hours away so that was never an issue.

I am going to agree with everyone else and say that this thing is going to go bad quickly...

 

[thomas91169]

Itll last until someone gets attached/emotions involved.

Its all dependent on the people involved.

 

[1QUICK10TH]

OP you've already broken so many rules. You NEVER go down on a fwb. I thought every one knew that.... Or maybe I'm alone? Any way fwb never ends well, feelings always get hurt but if you only met her to smash who cares? Hit it till it goes sour then run.

 

[MTBSully]

friends with benefist? Is this some sort of hip new thing kids do now where they fist **** only one other person but aren't dating them?

Kids these days....

 

[VirtualSVT]

2.5 years. That's how long I strung her along till she got real bad.

New one? So far a month. lol

 

[TorchMach]

I've had a friend with benefits for over a year now, however we don't talk about other people we have sexy time with. That would go bad for me.

 

[SVTCobra60]

Eventually it will bring drama, serious disproportional drama. If you don't want to "date" anyone don't make your profile visible during that time cause WOMEN BE LOOKIN' FOR A WEDDING DATE BRO!!!

Ok seriously, within 90 days there will most likely be a big falling out and one of the two of you is going to be mad.

LOL, so true, normally exactly how it plays out.

Itll last until someone gets attached/emotions involved.

Its all dependent on the people involved.

Exactly.

Doesn't last long before they get feelings, so normally I'd say a matter of months max.

 

[canibus]

My most consistent has been 8 years. The others usually come around when they're single. Booty calls is the way to go. No strings, just service.

 

[1hot281]

I've had a couple different friends with benefits last 4 or 5 years... one off-and-on for about 8 years that i met in high school...

What works for me is to never, ever, give anything close to resembling a shit about anything they say or do... don't treat them like a date, treat them like a friend. Rip on them and have a laugh. Don't get dressed up to see them. Don't offer to pay for their food or whatever. Don't open doors for them. Just treat them the same way you'd treat any of your male friends... check out girls in public and ask their opinion. Point out guys for them to check out. Have typical guy conversations about celebrities you'd bang. It's friends with benefits... and if you really play it that way, no one will catch feelings. Just be real and upfront.

 

[F1reStart3r]

I've had a friend with benefits for over a year now, however we don't talk about other people we have sexy time with. That would go bad for me.

That's because no one wants to know their line up in the batting order. You never EVER discuss any other partners you have.

OP it won't last, at some point one of you will develop feelings for the other officially ending the "friendship".

Only ever tried this once, but we went from friends to best friends to ****ing in love with each other all in the span of a few days. That kicked off the best and worst relationship of my life.