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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Encourage parents to consider brother intellect disorder...
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<blockquote data-quote="Torch10th" data-source="post: 14554748" data-attributes="member: 15703"><p>One thing to keep in mind is that hording is more often a symptom of emotional issues, not developmental or intellectual. Many people afflicted with hording type behaviors have suffered emotionally and turn to things to fill those wholes.</p><p></p><p>Based on what you're saying, have you tried talking with your brother directly about moving on with his life? You want to approach some of this pretty delicately if you honestly think he's disabled in some way. If he's not, whatever emotional turmoil may be going on will certainly be exacerbated. Talking to him face to face and man to man about making something of himself address behavior only and isn't accusatory to something he may or may not be.</p><p></p><p>I'm going to preface what I saw by the fact that I am not a psychologist, but did initially pursue that career path post high school.</p><p></p><p>What on the surface may seem logical (you're worried about a metal handicap) is often a course that can become rather detrimental. Medical diagnosis and prescription treatment is kind of a fall back because it's easy, but in many cases, people aren't afflicted with anything more than having some emotional distress.</p><p></p><p>Let me paint a picture for you here. I'm assuming a lot, because I don't know your family or it's circumstances. But, take a larger than normal american family. Husband, Wife and three kids lets say.</p><p></p><p>Mom and Dad are fairly successful. Not rich, but successful enough that they can afford to give their kids what they want/need. The first child comes along and it's new. Parents don't know what they're doing. Hopes are high and a lot of attention is given to things like academics, behavior etc. Second child comes along now and parents have learned a bit about having kids. Some things they were stringent on with their first, they let go of on the second, but any good parent is still going to push for success in critical behaviors academics and responsibilities.</p><p></p><p>This can create a bit of healthy competition between the first and second child in a healthy family unit. This competition can drive success in itself.</p><p></p><p>Finally, the 3rd child comes along. For some families that child is going to be considerably younger that the first child at this point. While the first and second child are growing up and are now less dependent on parental figures, that leaves a lot of attention granted towards the new arrival. That combined with the possibility or larger purchasing power as you age, puts the third child in risk of being coddled and babied. After all, the other two are off being successful at this point and in some cases mom especially feels the need to still be mom. You end up with the youngest being coddled to the point where they don't function as society would like them to. Laziness, inability to think critically, social apprehension etc. Not because they are handicapped in any way, but because they never were forced to fend for themselves and take up their personal responsibilities.</p><p></p><p>The fact that your brother is now in his 20's and mom is still actively treating him like a child explains a lot of what you're having issues with. Through her eyes, shes sees him still as a child that needs to be taken care of. That's powerful socialism right there. If she believes that, it rubs off on him and why not? If mom is going to give me everything and not expect anything, who wouldn't take that ride?</p><p></p><p>You see the same thing with people that are in the wellfare system by choice, not by circumstance.</p><p></p><p>Again, I'm not a psychologist and that's just my opinion. If it were me, the first thing I'd do is talk to your mom/parents and your brother individually and see if you can affect a change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Torch10th, post: 14554748, member: 15703"] One thing to keep in mind is that hording is more often a symptom of emotional issues, not developmental or intellectual. Many people afflicted with hording type behaviors have suffered emotionally and turn to things to fill those wholes. Based on what you're saying, have you tried talking with your brother directly about moving on with his life? You want to approach some of this pretty delicately if you honestly think he's disabled in some way. If he's not, whatever emotional turmoil may be going on will certainly be exacerbated. Talking to him face to face and man to man about making something of himself address behavior only and isn't accusatory to something he may or may not be. I'm going to preface what I saw by the fact that I am not a psychologist, but did initially pursue that career path post high school. What on the surface may seem logical (you're worried about a metal handicap) is often a course that can become rather detrimental. Medical diagnosis and prescription treatment is kind of a fall back because it's easy, but in many cases, people aren't afflicted with anything more than having some emotional distress. Let me paint a picture for you here. I'm assuming a lot, because I don't know your family or it's circumstances. But, take a larger than normal american family. Husband, Wife and three kids lets say. Mom and Dad are fairly successful. Not rich, but successful enough that they can afford to give their kids what they want/need. The first child comes along and it's new. Parents don't know what they're doing. Hopes are high and a lot of attention is given to things like academics, behavior etc. Second child comes along now and parents have learned a bit about having kids. Some things they were stringent on with their first, they let go of on the second, but any good parent is still going to push for success in critical behaviors academics and responsibilities. This can create a bit of healthy competition between the first and second child in a healthy family unit. This competition can drive success in itself. Finally, the 3rd child comes along. For some families that child is going to be considerably younger that the first child at this point. While the first and second child are growing up and are now less dependent on parental figures, that leaves a lot of attention granted towards the new arrival. That combined with the possibility or larger purchasing power as you age, puts the third child in risk of being coddled and babied. After all, the other two are off being successful at this point and in some cases mom especially feels the need to still be mom. You end up with the youngest being coddled to the point where they don't function as society would like them to. Laziness, inability to think critically, social apprehension etc. Not because they are handicapped in any way, but because they never were forced to fend for themselves and take up their personal responsibilities. The fact that your brother is now in his 20's and mom is still actively treating him like a child explains a lot of what you're having issues with. Through her eyes, shes sees him still as a child that needs to be taken care of. That's powerful socialism right there. If she believes that, it rubs off on him and why not? If mom is going to give me everything and not expect anything, who wouldn't take that ride? You see the same thing with people that are in the wellfare system by choice, not by circumstance. Again, I'm not a psychologist and that's just my opinion. If it were me, the first thing I'd do is talk to your mom/parents and your brother individually and see if you can affect a change. [/QUOTE]
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Encourage parents to consider brother intellect disorder...
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