Alright I've been dating a girl for 4 1/2 years and she is currently living with me. We had one break up a couple years ago where I broke it off because I felt like things were stuck in a bad place…she wanted to get married and I wasn't ready. We started arguing all the time and just felt like it wasn't worth all the arguing anymore. We got back together a couple of months later because I felt like we could fix a few of our issues if we just laid it out in front of each other and worked on things. Fast forward another 2 years and I feel like we are back in a similar situation. (things were pretty good for about a year and a half)
She's a great girl most of the time, she's loyal, helps out around the house, has a big heart, good looking etc. but she has a couple quirks that hard to get past. For example, she suffers from anxiety and its overwhelming at times. It creates blow ups between us because there are times I'm just not in the mode to deal with one of her "episodes". Her anxiety leads to a controlling attitude which is one of the reasons why we used to fight all the time. Trying to be controlled is a huge turn off in my book and I don't behave that way with her so I expect the same in return but this is not always the case. I will say she has gotten better about that since we got back together though. I'm not saying she is the only one at fault but these are my sticking points. I know I have my own issues that creates problems as well. Regardless, We both have type "A" personalities and our stubbornness creates fiction between us no matter how many times we try to talk through it.
She still pushes the marriage thing but not as bad as a few years ago. My gut still tells me that I don't want to get married but its reached a point in time where its time to shit or got off the pot. I've been struggling to figure out if I should continue to make this this work for the next year or two to see if I get myself to a point where I'm ready to get married or just cut it off. We are both in our late 20s so if going to happen I would expect in the next year or so. If not, I feel its time for both of us to move on. Quite frankly I have had a brother and best friend get married only to see their situation end in nasty divorces, which I'd rather avoid. Anyone else have a similar situation? What was the outcome?
She's a great girl most of the time, she's loyal, helps out around the house, has a big heart, good looking etc. but she has a couple quirks that hard to get past. For example, she suffers from anxiety and its overwhelming at times. It creates blow ups between us because there are times I'm just not in the mode to deal with one of her "episodes". Her anxiety leads to a controlling attitude which is one of the reasons why we used to fight all the time. Trying to be controlled is a huge turn off in my book and I don't behave that way with her so I expect the same in return but this is not always the case. I will say she has gotten better about that since we got back together though. I'm not saying she is the only one at fault but these are my sticking points. I know I have my own issues that creates problems as well. Regardless, We both have type "A" personalities and our stubbornness creates fiction between us no matter how many times we try to talk through it.
She still pushes the marriage thing but not as bad as a few years ago. My gut still tells me that I don't want to get married but its reached a point in time where its time to shit or got off the pot. I've been struggling to figure out if I should continue to make this this work for the next year or two to see if I get myself to a point where I'm ready to get married or just cut it off. We are both in our late 20s so if going to happen I would expect in the next year or so. If not, I feel its time for both of us to move on. Quite frankly I have had a brother and best friend get married only to see their situation end in nasty divorces, which I'd rather avoid. Anyone else have a similar situation? What was the outcome?
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