Child Support

[JMoraru]

I've done some searching on some threads on child support, but decided to start my own to answer some more specific questions. I have a 16 month old daughter who i love very much. The mother completely changed and left me back in May of this year. I have been paying about 18% of my income weekly through bank transfer. I loved this girl(we were engaged) and wanted the best for my daughter, so I try to be fair. I get my daughter every Thursday and every other weekend and whenever else it works out. The mother lives at home,but is moving out and asking for more money "to better support our daughter". Im stuck living at home right now because i cant even afford to move back out. She makes a decent amount more than me.

I have no problem providing for my daughter, but i feel like she is just trying to take advantage of me. I decided to apply for child support through the state myself today. Was that a good or bad move? Hopefully my payments remain about the same and i want to protect myself from her trying to waiting and then trying to get backpay.

 

[pickup_man06]

i wouldnt change what i pay. it can sway a judge/state child support agency to make you pay more than you previously were and make that the perrmanent payment, as it is saying that you can afford to pay the higher amount and still survive. you should try the peaceful negotiations first; sit her down, just you and her, and explain that you already cant afford to get out on your own either, and by paying extra, its going to take away from the available time with your child due to working more. tell her that she already makes more than you, and that you absolutely love your daughter, but you just cant afford more. if she cant understand (sadly, most women just dont seem to, they prefer to take advantage of fellas), then you need to hire a lawyer. that would be a more personable encounter with a judge who will listen to your case, and make a decision based solely decided upon how he thinks you should pay. the way you have gone may not end as well in your favor. i never went thru a child support agency, i went thru a lawyer. luckily a judge gave me a relatively lower payment, as my ex and i agreed upon a alternate way of doing things until i deploy again. i hope this helps, if you need any advice, pm me, i would be happy to help. i hope things dont turn ugly for you two as they normally do. for your sanitys sake and mainly for your little one. its really hard on them.

 

[BOTTLEFED5]

If she is the custodial parent you cant get child support and even if you have joint custody you will still have to pay child support,you can apply for a reduction but that is a long drawn out process and if its thru the state disembursment unit she will have to apply for an increase which can take up to a year and they go thru all financial records so odds are unless you are making a significant amount more than when the original support agreement was you wont get an increase they can only do a review every 3 years on the amount so i wouldn't worry about it at the moment just make sure you dont fall behind cause that becomes a pain in the ass im on 15 years of doin this and been down every avenue of it

 

[JMoraru]

Right now there is not court order. Im just paying what we agreed upon. Im just tired of her trying to tell me how to do things and holding it over my head. Should i try to revoke my application to child support services and just get a lawyer? I mean i could just continue to pay, but then if things really go south, she may try to take me for backpay and everything if i dont have it through the state...at least that's what im thinking.

 

[STAMPEDE3]

Right now there is not court order. Im just paying what we agreed upon. Im just tired of her trying to tell me how to do things and holding it over my head. Should i try to revoke my application to child support services and just get a lawyer? I mean i could just continue to pay, but then if things really go south, she may try to take me for backpay and everything if i dont have it through the state...at least that's what im thinking.

Make sure you have a record of everything you paid so far.

My brother is going through similar situation now with support.
His lawyer told him to stop bank transfer and start paper checks.

Unless you know for a fact that she will never get pissed then get a lawyer, go to court and get this all done right.

 

[BOTTLEFED5]

In the long run its better to have it thru the courts, but just like stampede said make sure you have record of all payments then she cant hit you for any back child support and if you go thru the courts you may inly have to pay 10% vs 18 depending on financial records

 

[JMoraru]

Make sure you have a record of everything you paid so far.

My brother is going through similar situation now with support.
His lawyer told him to stop bank transfer and start paper checks.

Unless you know for a fact that she will never get pissed then get a lawyer, go to court and get this all done right.

Overall, she has been better than many stories of woman ive heard of. What has me worried is she has used it as a threat like 3 times now. As long as i pay what she agrees, then she wouldnt do anything. Im worried about her continuing to adjust the amount based on her opinion of how much i should pay.

 

[STAMPEDE3]

Get with a lawyer at a minimum right now.

He can look at what you make, what she makes, time shared and let you know what you should be paying.

there are tables in every state to figure this.

 

[Mr. Mach-ete]

Here in Maryland there is a formula used for child support based on total house hold income. The percentage of your contribution towards child support is based on how much of the total income your portion represents. For example: If the annual house hold income between you and your girlfriend is $100,000, child support totals are based off the $100,000 number. This number might be $1,000 a month. If you brought home $40,000, she brought home $60,000, your share of the $1,000 is $400, her share is $600, which equals $1,000. If the child lives with mom then you write $400 checks every month towards your share of support. I wrote $620 a month for 10 years, $74,400.00, plus other expenses.

 

[WireEater]

It all really depends. If you go to court you may end up paying MORE or less. You need to pull up your states payment calculator and figure it out. Usually the person with the highest income covers more than the other parent, if you have custody or not. You have the ability to challenge anything she files against you in court so if you feel it's not fair then I'd advise you to do so.

It's almost been 2 years since I've had my 2 kids on my own and I haven't seen a penny but I haven't even bothered because I'd rather pay for everything myself then to deal with the drama and frustration that it brings. It can be stressful because I have a lot of out of pocket expenses every month for them (over 1200$) but I'll take that over some asshole trying to take me to court every month. Unfortunately there are some people out there who will try to milk the other parent for everything.

 

[xblitzkriegx]

I've done some searching on some threads on child support, but decided to start my own to answer some more specific questions. I have a 16 month old daughter who i love very much. The mother completely changed and left me back in May of this year. I have been paying about 18% of my income weekly through bank transfer. I loved this girl(we were engaged) and wanted the best for my daughter, so I try to be fair. I get my daughter every Thursday and every other weekend and whenever else it works out. The mother lives at home,but is moving out and asking for more money "to better support our daughter". Im stuck living at home right now because i cant even afford to move back out. She makes a decent amount more than me.

I have no problem providing for my daughter, but i feel like she is just trying to take advantage of me. I decided to apply for child support through the state myself today. Was that a good or bad move? Hopefully my payments remain about the same and i want to protect myself from her trying to waiting and then trying to get backpay.

if there's no court order, you don't HAVE to pay anything. Obviously that's not looked upon very favorable by judges, but if there's nothing from a court stating what you have to pay, then you don't have to pay anything.

applying is an excellent idea regardless if you have to pay more. at the very least, you can't be extorted by your ex for more money under the guise of taking care of your daughter. her financial situation isn't your problem. if she can't handle raising the child, perhaps you should take over.

also, you need to draw up official visitation rights to your child. since you don't have anything right now, you pretty much don't have access to your daughter. there's no proof either way of who spends what time with who without a court order. this doesnt have to be anything like notorized or anything, just an email stating visitation with her agreeing. that is admissible evidence in court. youll also be smart to print out ALL the transfers youve made thus far. the amount doesnt really matter to be honest, whatll count is that you were being responsible and trying to do the right thing. also, since theres no court order to how much youre "supposed" to pay, if youve been underpaying it doesnt matter since its what you both agreed to.

here is the link to find out roughly what youll be paying:

https://cscalc.gaaoc.us/

fair warning, think LONG and HARD about visitation days. once its set in writing, youre stuck with it pretty much as the process to change visitation days is very difficult. if you leave it open ended with something like "when its feasible" for example, you leave yourself vulnerable to "its never feasible when he calls me" if you take her to court for denying your rights. if you dont request very specific things and get it IN WRITING, youll be stuck with alternating holidays and 1-2 weekends a month.

look man, be extremely, EXTREMELY specific and get everything in writing.

last thing, be prepared for your ex to do anything. your daughter will be used against you [she already is, extortion for money], she will talk bad about you to her, and try to milk you for money. do i talk from experience? partly. are all women like that? nah. then again, you didnt think shed leave either. see my point? you DONT know what shes capable of.

 

[chao5.0]

first make sure the child is yours, you don't want to be paying for a child if it isn't yours. second get a court order because if she wants she can get you in a lot of ways right now from back child support to not letting you see the child because there is no order in place. here in tx. they can take 20% of your income for the first child and 5% for every child after that, plus you have to furnish medical ins. and pay half of all medical bills, if you can't furnish medical ins. then the state will provide medicade (its free for the custodial parent) but they will bill the non custodial parent a set amount for the child or children. i've been to court many times with my ex over these things, i was in the same situation you are in, because you never married the mother legally you have no rights to the child, so first determine if the child is yours, if she is get a court order in place. you can google the laws in your area to get a better understanding.

 

[LostPony]

Here is a Georgia state Child Support calculator: Georgia Child Support Calculator - AllLaw.com

 

[fast ford brian]

If she is already trying to use it for leverage it is prob going to get much worse . Why people do this to each other I will never understand . Lawyer up and show her you mean business.

 

[Planter]

Dr. Laura would tell you not have to babies out of wedlock and then you don't have to worry about these kinds of problems (usually anyways).

I would suggest going to talk to an attorney. rights and laws vary by state. best of luck. :beer:

 

[pho_phizzat]

Good luck.

 

[pickup_man06]

Make sure you have a record of everything you paid so far.

My brother is going through similar situation now with support.
His lawyer told him to stop bank transfer and start paper checks.

Unless you know for a fact that she will never get pissed then get a lawyer, go to court and get this all done right.

exactly that. i still do anything related to her and money with as much possible documentation as possible. paper checks are the best way, and make her write you receipts with a "purpose of payment" on them. i.e., child support/helping out financially with your daughter. anything can help, it at least shows that you are there for your daughter, regradless of what she says

 

[pickup_man06]

id also backup everyone else and my first statement by saying an attorney would be in your best interest. if she is trying to play boss, and make you do things/holding your daughter over your head, she wont stop, and its likely gonna get worse. do what you need to do in order to ensure that you get to see your daughter as much as possible. best investment youll ever make, hands down :-D

 

[lobra97]

take ur ass to attorney gen and get setup, paper trail as well, she can always turn around and say you didn't give her anything. I'll tell her tough shit and go by what the state makes you pay, she can afford the rest on her own, she wants to be without her family then let her, she'll make it like countless other moms before her. spend your money on your daughter not her mom, pay whatever state makes you and spend the rest on her yourself, "move out to better support your daughter" lmfao yeah til she gets her new bf to move in with her. for the record i am on CS as well, i've seen my sons mom buy purses with her CS payment in person, go to movies, pay for dinner, etc. garbage

 

[Outlaw99]

child support...dont get me started.