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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Why has suicide become such a viable option?
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<blockquote data-quote="Mainn" data-source="post: 16068678" data-attributes="member: 130795"><p>I have so much I want to say about this topic. Whether it’s to get it all out to someone, or an attempt to educate, I don’t know. I’m sorry in advance if the post ends up being uber-long. In addition, it may get a little too detailed - you may want to skip over this post if you don’t want to hear about suicide/self-harm.</p><p></p><p>I’d have no idea why suicide rates have increased as I haven’t been around long enough to know what things were like ‘in the past’. But, what I can say is - it’s different for everyone.</p><p></p><p>I don’t know much about suicide specifically, but I’m pretty confident in saying it wouldn’t cross the thoughts of most rational people once.</p><p></p><p>I’ve been extremely close with a few people who have suffered from mental illnesses. Specifically, depression and anxiety. I felt like I had a pretty firm idea on what it’s like to live with such illnesses, and how they can’t just ‘go away’, but I’ve learnt since that it’s really difficult to picture just the extent of what’s going on without having experienced it yourself. </p><p></p><p>I was born in 1999, so a young dude. I’ve been to the GP twice, and have had six psychologist appointments, just in the latter half of this year. </p><p></p><p>I guess I could say I’ve had an easy life. I think that I’m naturally gifted in the brains department - whilst I did study in high school, it was probably only an ‘average’ amount; and I certainly did a lot better than ‘average’ results wise. I’m starting my university degree, mechanical engineering, next year with the dream of entering the motorsport industry. I have a casual job. My point is, I can’t think of anything for me to be ‘sad about’.</p><p></p><p>Now, for the past while. At some point or another, the thought of suicide enters my mind more days than not. I don’t know whether I would ever go through with it, but having thoughts related to it is scary enough. I never thought I’d ever reach the stage where I’d feel so sad, and so frustrated, to the point where I would lash out physically either, though - but that’s happened more than once before. When this has happened to me, and I felt the urge to scratch my arm as hard as I could with my fingernails, my senses were dulled - I obviously knew something was happening, but I couldn’t really feel it physically. It was just something I felt like I had to do. It hit a bit more when I woke up the next morning, remembering what had happened, seeing it and feeling it.</p><p></p><p>It comes in sudden waves. I can be having a really good time, and then a small trigger and a few minutes later, be on the verge of crying. But, you can never really escape the ‘dull’ feeling, despite how much of a good time you could be having.</p><p>I tell myself almost everyday that those around me would be better off if I was gone. That, they may be sad for a short period of time, but ultimately would live much happier lives. That I’m bringing them down with me. THIS is what I tell myself when a suicidal thought pops into my head.</p><p>It’s so tiring. My brain never stops. Anxiety means I’m extremely critical about every single thing I do. I replay things over and over again in my head, beating myself up over things I should’ve done. I’m extremely sensitive as a result, as I can’t help but feel everything that happens which is even slightly negative is against me. </p><p>Depression then means that I tell myself things went wrong because I’m a terrible person. That I don’t deserve anything that I have. That people would be better off without me around. </p><p>And off it spirals. Deeper and darker. It’s impossible to tell yourself, or have someone tell you and you believe it, that all of your thoughts are ‘not true’ when you’re in this space.</p><p>Physically, I can’t sleep, and I’m always exhausted doing the smallest of tasks. I often lack a sense of hunger. </p><p></p><p>What I’ve learnt is that, despite people saying they’re there for you - they’re not. For the most part, you’re very much alone. If there’s any sign that you may bring their mood down, they’re outta there. There hasn’t been one person I can think of, other than maybe my parents, who have stayed true to their word and have been by my side in the worst of times. Feeling alone when you’re telling yourself you SHOULD be alone can sometimes be the hardest bit.</p><p></p><p>I know others who suffer from anxiety and depression, too, and it affects them in a much different way. For some, it can be extremely physical - shaking in their body, etc. </p><p></p><p>No two situations are the same, and unfortunately, I really believe that it can bite anyone - despite how well their life is perceived to be going. It’s not just a case of ‘toughening up’, or ‘learn how to deal with things’. Most people can. Those with mental illnesses simply can’t. Suicide is never the first option or thought. It’s not even the second, or third, or fourth, even for those with depression. But when you’re in a really, really bad headspace, it feels like the right thing to do. Whether that’s because, like me, you think it’d be best for everyone else around you - or whether it’s because you feel like you can’t escape your own mind otherwise, or any other reason.</p><p></p><p>Anxiety sucks. Depression sucks. Mental illnesses suck. It’s just you hurting yourself. They’re really, really horrible.</p><p></p><p>Yikes, I just spent over an hour writing this post...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mainn, post: 16068678, member: 130795"] I have so much I want to say about this topic. Whether it’s to get it all out to someone, or an attempt to educate, I don’t know. I’m sorry in advance if the post ends up being uber-long. In addition, it may get a little too detailed - you may want to skip over this post if you don’t want to hear about suicide/self-harm. I’d have no idea why suicide rates have increased as I haven’t been around long enough to know what things were like ‘in the past’. But, what I can say is - it’s different for everyone. I don’t know much about suicide specifically, but I’m pretty confident in saying it wouldn’t cross the thoughts of most rational people once. I’ve been extremely close with a few people who have suffered from mental illnesses. Specifically, depression and anxiety. I felt like I had a pretty firm idea on what it’s like to live with such illnesses, and how they can’t just ‘go away’, but I’ve learnt since that it’s really difficult to picture just the extent of what’s going on without having experienced it yourself. I was born in 1999, so a young dude. I’ve been to the GP twice, and have had six psychologist appointments, just in the latter half of this year. I guess I could say I’ve had an easy life. I think that I’m naturally gifted in the brains department - whilst I did study in high school, it was probably only an ‘average’ amount; and I certainly did a lot better than ‘average’ results wise. I’m starting my university degree, mechanical engineering, next year with the dream of entering the motorsport industry. I have a casual job. My point is, I can’t think of anything for me to be ‘sad about’. Now, for the past while. At some point or another, the thought of suicide enters my mind more days than not. I don’t know whether I would ever go through with it, but having thoughts related to it is scary enough. I never thought I’d ever reach the stage where I’d feel so sad, and so frustrated, to the point where I would lash out physically either, though - but that’s happened more than once before. When this has happened to me, and I felt the urge to scratch my arm as hard as I could with my fingernails, my senses were dulled - I obviously knew something was happening, but I couldn’t really feel it physically. It was just something I felt like I had to do. It hit a bit more when I woke up the next morning, remembering what had happened, seeing it and feeling it. It comes in sudden waves. I can be having a really good time, and then a small trigger and a few minutes later, be on the verge of crying. But, you can never really escape the ‘dull’ feeling, despite how much of a good time you could be having. I tell myself almost everyday that those around me would be better off if I was gone. That, they may be sad for a short period of time, but ultimately would live much happier lives. That I’m bringing them down with me. THIS is what I tell myself when a suicidal thought pops into my head. It’s so tiring. My brain never stops. Anxiety means I’m extremely critical about every single thing I do. I replay things over and over again in my head, beating myself up over things I should’ve done. I’m extremely sensitive as a result, as I can’t help but feel everything that happens which is even slightly negative is against me. Depression then means that I tell myself things went wrong because I’m a terrible person. That I don’t deserve anything that I have. That people would be better off without me around. And off it spirals. Deeper and darker. It’s impossible to tell yourself, or have someone tell you and you believe it, that all of your thoughts are ‘not true’ when you’re in this space. Physically, I can’t sleep, and I’m always exhausted doing the smallest of tasks. I often lack a sense of hunger. What I’ve learnt is that, despite people saying they’re there for you - they’re not. For the most part, you’re very much alone. If there’s any sign that you may bring their mood down, they’re outta there. There hasn’t been one person I can think of, other than maybe my parents, who have stayed true to their word and have been by my side in the worst of times. Feeling alone when you’re telling yourself you SHOULD be alone can sometimes be the hardest bit. I know others who suffer from anxiety and depression, too, and it affects them in a much different way. For some, it can be extremely physical - shaking in their body, etc. No two situations are the same, and unfortunately, I really believe that it can bite anyone - despite how well their life is perceived to be going. It’s not just a case of ‘toughening up’, or ‘learn how to deal with things’. Most people can. Those with mental illnesses simply can’t. Suicide is never the first option or thought. It’s not even the second, or third, or fourth, even for those with depression. But when you’re in a really, really bad headspace, it feels like the right thing to do. Whether that’s because, like me, you think it’d be best for everyone else around you - or whether it’s because you feel like you can’t escape your own mind otherwise, or any other reason. Anxiety sucks. Depression sucks. Mental illnesses suck. It’s just you hurting yourself. They’re really, really horrible. Yikes, I just spent over an hour writing this post... [/QUOTE]
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Why has suicide become such a viable option?
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