What's the point of marriage?

Zemedici

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Marriage? Way necessary - show commitment, etc. The vows literally say ‘til death do us part’ and that’s what it means to me.

Now, fancy crazy expensive party, for a day you’re so busy you can’t remember anything that happens? **** that. Rather have a month long honeymoon for the same price.

Marriage - totally relevant.

Extravagant wedding? Totally unnecessary.
 

lilcoop03

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Just FYI, In many areas, living together for X number of years is viewed as a "common law" marriage under the law and is trated the same as a legal marriage. Here in Canada that can be as little as 1 year if you have a child together.

I was married once and it went about as badly as it could go. Luckily she came to her senses later on and let me off easy in the divorce. I won't be making that mistake again (unless she's rich...LOL!!) :D

Details on "badly as it could go"? How long were you married?
 

earico

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Marriage? Way necessary - show commitment, etc. The vows literally say ‘til death do us part’ and that’s what it means to me.

Now, fancy crazy expensive party, for a day you’re so busy you can’t remember anything that happens? **** that. Rather have a month long honeymoon for the same price.

Marriage - totally relevant.

Extravagant wedding? Totally unnecessary.

Agreed. Been with the love of my life for 14 years and married 12.5. This is my 2nd try. 1st wife last 5 years and we married because we were pregnant. 2nd marriage was because of real love and we couldn't be happier. She had a good job when we met. Now I make enough I can afford for her to stay home all the time. She hasn't worked in 5 years. She and my kids are what I live for. I take great care of her and she takes great care of daddy if you know what I mean. Daddy gets what he wants when he wants it.
Thing is marriage is work. It's hard work! It took years for both of us to let our guards completely down and let the other one all the way in. I can't tell you how many nights we fought til we fixed whatever had caused it. It was always because someone had hurt the other's feelings accidentally. I'd say 80% of the time it was me upsetting her but that's estrogen fellas. Lol. My wife even admits she can be batshit crazy and appologizes for it. Now the fights are just a few times a year and over quickly because we have history that helps us navigate thru a solution. I have no regrets marrying this woman and would do it again in a heartbeat. As mentioned the tax and other financial discounts are a plus.
 
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Zemedici

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Agreed. Been with the love of my life for 14 years and married 12.5. This is my 2nd try. 1st wife last 5 years and we married because we were pregnant. 2nd marriage was because of real love and we couldn't be happier. She had a good job when we met. Now I make enough I can afford for her to stay home all the time. She hasn't worked in 5 years. She and my kids are what I live for. I take great care of her and she takes great care of daddy if you know what I mean. Daddy gets what he wants when he wants it.
Thing is marriage is work. It's hard work! It took years for both of to let our guards completely down and let the other one all the way in. I can't tell you how many nights we fought til we fixed whatever had caused it. It was always because someone had hurt the other's feelings accidentally. I'd say 80% of the time it was me upsetting her but that's estrogen fellas. Lol. My wife even admits she can be batshit crazy and appologizes for it. Now the fights are just a few times a year and over quickly because we have history that helps us navigate thru a solution. I have no regrets marrying this woman and would do it again in a heartbeat. As mentioned the tax and other financial discounts are a plus.

100% truth.

Sounds like you have it made, buddy. I cannot wait to get home to Tanya every day. Still feel like that after 4 years of being together. No kids for us though, at least not right now.
 

earico

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100% truth.

Sounds like you have it made, buddy. I cannot wait to get home to Tanya every day. Still feel like that after 4 years of being together. No kids for us though, at least not right now.

I honestly feel like I do and won the lottery. She feels exactly the same about me. I hope you are able to have kids and want to. It's the most rewarding thing I have done. Again it's hard ass work to be a great parent. My kids never saw daycare. My 1st wife stayed home and we lived modestly on one income. I was adamant about that. Then we split the same day I quit my job and went out on my own. I was working from home and caring for a 3 & 5 year old during those days. My 2nd wife and I tried to have another and it just wasn't in the cards. She's still heartbroken and I hate it for her. Lots of emotions from that had to be delt with and still surface time to time.
 

Coiled03

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Marriage? Way necessary - show commitment, etc..

Yeah, gonna need someone to explain this to me, because I've never understood it. To me, if you're really ready to get married, the act of getting married shouldn't change anything. It's just a piece of paper. You should've ALREADY been committed to that person, if you're ready. If the other person needs you to show it in some legal ceremony, something isn't right.
 

blk02edge

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Can get married for less than $100.

IMHO not getting married means no one is commintted long term. Marriage does not mean they will stay, but that's the commitment.

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Yea, im not in line with that thinking, in no way is marriage a real commitment of anything, what is that $100 going to get us? A certificate? The rate people get divorced is proof enough for me.
 

Zemedici

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Yeah, gonna need someone to explain this to me, because I've never understood it. To me, if you're really ready to get married, the act of getting married shouldn't change anything. It's just a piece of paper. You should've ALREADY been committed to that person, if you're ready. If the other person needs you to show it in some legal ceremony, something isn't right.

The piece of paper is the least important part of it.

To Me : Its the physical act of giving yourself 100% to someone else. The vows. You are committing yourself formally to another person for the rest of your life.

'Til death do us part'

People can SAY they're committed til they're blue in the face. To me talk's cheap, show it.
 

blk02edge

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The piece of paper is the least important part of it.

To Me : Its the physical act of giving yourself 100% to someone else. The vows. You are committing yourself formally to another person for the rest of your life.

'Til death do us part'

People can SAY they're committed til they're blue in the face. To me talk's cheap, show it.
Yea but people say those lines and whats the rate of successful marriage? Instead of talk being cheap talk becomes expensive. This is certainly a different strokes view, I get why people emotionally want to get married, I just dont see a valid point personally. We are no less happy/commited than our married friends. If we were religeous or had kids I'd be on the same page
 

Zemedici

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Yea but people say those lines and whats the rate of successful marriage? Instead of talk being cheap talk becomes expensive. This is certainly a different strokes view, I get why people emotionally want to get married, I just dont see a valid point personally. We are no less happy/commited than our married friends. If we were religeous or had kids I'd be on the same page

I understand completely. Not for everyone.
 

Zemedici

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Is Mr #NeverKids starting to reconsider? lol

As for marriage just being a piece of paper, it isn't. It's solidifying a commitment with consequences, without you always have the walkaway option.


Only if an accident happens lolol still #MrNeverKids

OR

You can solidify the commitment without consequences. Its the chance we take. Think about it like an epic dice roll. Sometimes you get snake eyes.
 

Screw-Rice

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Only if an accident happens lolol still #MrNeverKids

OR

You can solidify the commitment without consequences. Its the chance we take. Think about it like an epic dice roll. Sometimes you get snake eyes.
Better double wrap, lol

You can, but if you always have the option of walking away free and clear, it's quite easy to take it when things go bad. The consequences part is what pushes you into fixing problems instead of walking.
 

08mojo

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Marriage? Way necessary - show commitment, etc. The vows literally say ‘til death do us part’ and that’s what it means to me.

Now, fancy crazy expensive party, for a day you’re so busy you can’t remember anything that happens? **** that. Rather have a month long honeymoon for the same price.

Marriage - totally relevant.

Extravagant wedding? Totally unnecessary.

Agreed. Wife and I got married on a beach with a few of our closest friends in attendance. Then, we threw a big party once we got home with all of our extended family and friends--good times and absolutely 0 debt and no life changes to pay for the wedding/party.

Only if an accident happens lolol still #MrNeverKids Its the chance we take. Think about it like an epic dice roll. Sometimes you get snake eyes.

No kids for us either! Do we need to start another thread to teach you about contraception!?! I edited your post obviously, but at first glance I thought you were one of the, "we don't want kids, and we're not planning to, but we're off birth control and if it happens, it happens." Ugh...those people obviously want kids or need to go back to sex ed.
 

Zemedici

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Agreed. Wife and I got married on a beach with a few of our closest friends in attendance. Then, we threw a big party once we got home with all of our extended family and friends--good times and absolutely 0 debt and no life changes to pay for the wedding/party.

No kids for us either! Do we need to start another thread to teach you about contraception!?! I edited your post obviously, but at first glance I thought you were one of the, "we don't want kids, and we're not planning to, but we're off birth control and if it happens, it happens." Ugh...those people obviously want kids or need to go back to sex ed.

No No. Contraceptives are used lolol not interested in kids, solely because I'm too 'selfish' at the moment to truly provide for them as I would want to. I'm 26, still young imo, and can always re evaluate kids later on in life. Hell i know guys in their 50s that got their 20 something year old wives pregnant lolol

And exactly! My little brother is getting married this coming March, and he's had to put his whole life on hold for the past year and a half to pay for it. Meanwhile his wife's turned into complete Bridezilla. Not something I care to experience. Not to mention when you say 'wedding' around a female, something clicks in their head, and they go batshit crazy. All of a sudden unless the wedding is Kardashian tier, its a waste.
 

earico

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All of a sudden unless the wedding is Kardashian tier, its a waste.

I got married on the bow of a 70' yacht on Lake Tahoe. A lot of friends and family flew out to join us on their dime. $5k including flights and hotel costs for a few days. Done. We could have easily afforded something more grand but why?
 

Coiled03

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Is Mr #NeverKids starting to reconsider? lol

As for marriage just being a piece of paper, it isn't. It's solidifying a commitment with consequences, without you always have the walkaway option.


Everybody does, and should have the walk away option. Nobody should be doomed to live a miserable, or abusive existence because of one choice.
 

black4vcobra

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I will be married 2 years in May and we have a little guy due in April, both the marriage and baby is a first for us both. I agree with much of what has been said so far -


-Unless your religious beliefs mandate it, marriage is optional. Commitment is not the same as marriage and I would much rather be in a happy, unmarried relationship than a miserable marriage.
-Marriage is generally a good idea if having children due to legal, societal and financial reasons.
-Tax/insurance benefits are nice
-While ours turned out great, weddings are stupidly expensive and completely unnecessary. The planning was a nightmare and I've told my wife if I had to go through that again I would reconsider marriage with her. No joke, it was the worst thing I've ever voluntarily taken part in.
-Many women want a wedding, not a marriage. If you even think that's the case then don't even think about taking part in her stupid fantasy.
-Nothing changes especially considering we already owned a house together. IDK if she thought I was all of a sudden going to be prince charming or what but she had some sort of a wedding hangover/letdown. For you unmarried guys, know that this is a real thing.
-If it ever didn't work out with my wife I would not ever consider getting married again.

Unfortunately, in some regards marriage has become another way for government to control us. This is not an issue if 2 people are committed to each other and making it work but anything less than that you better believe the government is going to make you do what they want.
 
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