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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Philosophical life experience type question
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<blockquote data-quote="velocicaur" data-source="post: 16569324" data-attributes="member: 33335"><p>I fell apart at 20-21 and I have never recovered. I still can't pinpoint what happened but during my second summer of college I just lost myself. I had finished honors in high school/ap classes, etc. 3.9 in college taking chemistry, calculus, physics with the goal on becoming a dentist. Great family and friends. I had everything I could have wanted. Anxiety began to pick up and I began doubting myself. Depression followed. Confidence took an absolute beating. Ended up going to a psychologist and psychiatrist many years later (one of my biggest regrets is not going sooner). Pushed my friends and family away. Ashamed. Started to drink. Suicidal thoughts, etc. </p><p></p><p>I am now 35 and my life is a mess. I take a handful of pills every day. I really don't get out of the house. I don't have any real job skills outside of landscaping which is not something I want to do. My anxiety/confidence is absolutely shot. I am so disappointed in myself. I don't even know how to describe it. </p><p></p><p>Needless to say, I didn't handle it well and I haven't adjusted to it. I know what it is like to have a great life during my childhood until ~20. It sort of keeps me going knowing what life can be like. At the same time, it feels like my life peaked at 20. Some people never know what it feels like to be happy and I got to experience that for many years. I know 35 is "young" but I feel like an old man. I'm looking forward to the end of my time... "Well, hopefully I only have 30 more years of this shit until I kick the bucket." Then again, I could get T-boned on Monday and it would all be over which I wouldn't be upset with either. I guess we'll see.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="velocicaur, post: 16569324, member: 33335"] I fell apart at 20-21 and I have never recovered. I still can't pinpoint what happened but during my second summer of college I just lost myself. I had finished honors in high school/ap classes, etc. 3.9 in college taking chemistry, calculus, physics with the goal on becoming a dentist. Great family and friends. I had everything I could have wanted. Anxiety began to pick up and I began doubting myself. Depression followed. Confidence took an absolute beating. Ended up going to a psychologist and psychiatrist many years later (one of my biggest regrets is not going sooner). Pushed my friends and family away. Ashamed. Started to drink. Suicidal thoughts, etc. I am now 35 and my life is a mess. I take a handful of pills every day. I really don't get out of the house. I don't have any real job skills outside of landscaping which is not something I want to do. My anxiety/confidence is absolutely shot. I am so disappointed in myself. I don't even know how to describe it. Needless to say, I didn't handle it well and I haven't adjusted to it. I know what it is like to have a great life during my childhood until ~20. It sort of keeps me going knowing what life can be like. At the same time, it feels like my life peaked at 20. Some people never know what it feels like to be happy and I got to experience that for many years. I know 35 is "young" but I feel like an old man. I'm looking forward to the end of my time... "Well, hopefully I only have 30 more years of this shit until I kick the bucket." Then again, I could get T-boned on Monday and it would all be over which I wouldn't be upset with either. I guess we'll see. [/QUOTE]
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