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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Married Life - What would you do - Advice
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<blockquote data-quote="13COBRA" data-source="post: 16112951" data-attributes="member: 138337"><p>What you say in your 20s shouldn't be held as marshal law for the rest of your life.</p><p></p><p>With that being said, if you guys had both talked about not having kids before you got married, and you were both in agreement pre-wedding...then it's tough to tell her now that you changed your mind and she should as well. Instead of just talking about having one or not...tell her the reasons you want one. Explain to her the things that you want from that type of relationship.</p><p></p><p>Another thing, ask yourself, do you think she would be a good mother to a child of yours? Would she raise it and treat it as you'd want her to? I know that's kinda a hard question to answer, as ALL women change once they have a child...but having a child doesn't make things easier, it makes things harder. So you have to be pretty set and know that you'll take the good with the bad, and that's that.</p><p></p><p>As far as the drinking goes... you're an adult, over the age of 21, you're not consuming in excess, she can pound sand. Just because she doesn't drink, doesn't mean you can't. Just as, just because you want a kid now, doesn't mean she has to want that too. It goes both ways.</p><p></p><p>As long as you're not drinking in excess, or you don't get physically/emotionally abusive while you're drinking, then it shouldn't be a big deal.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Coming from a guy that just finished with a divorce not too long ago, if you love her, and think you guys can come to terms and both of you be happy, that's what you should do.</p><p></p><p>It's easy for me to sit here and read everything from your point of view and agree with your thought process. Before passing final judgement, I'd want to know;</p><p></p><ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">what her reasoning for not wanting to help you with your mother is,</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">why she doesn't want to have a child</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">why she thinks she has the right to control your drinking, and</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">if her apology is sincere, or if she's just trying to save your marriage and her agreeing with you is the only solution in her head.</li> </ol></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="13COBRA, post: 16112951, member: 138337"] What you say in your 20s shouldn't be held as marshal law for the rest of your life. With that being said, if you guys had both talked about not having kids before you got married, and you were both in agreement pre-wedding...then it's tough to tell her now that you changed your mind and she should as well. Instead of just talking about having one or not...tell her the reasons you want one. Explain to her the things that you want from that type of relationship. Another thing, ask yourself, do you think she would be a good mother to a child of yours? Would she raise it and treat it as you'd want her to? I know that's kinda a hard question to answer, as ALL women change once they have a child...but having a child doesn't make things easier, it makes things harder. So you have to be pretty set and know that you'll take the good with the bad, and that's that. As far as the drinking goes... you're an adult, over the age of 21, you're not consuming in excess, she can pound sand. Just because she doesn't drink, doesn't mean you can't. Just as, just because you want a kid now, doesn't mean she has to want that too. It goes both ways. As long as you're not drinking in excess, or you don't get physically/emotionally abusive while you're drinking, then it shouldn't be a big deal. Coming from a guy that just finished with a divorce not too long ago, if you love her, and think you guys can come to terms and both of you be happy, that's what you should do. It's easy for me to sit here and read everything from your point of view and agree with your thought process. Before passing final judgement, I'd want to know; [LIST=1] [*]what her reasoning for not wanting to help you with your mother is, [*]why she doesn't want to have a child [*]why she thinks she has the right to control your drinking, and [*]if her apology is sincere, or if she's just trying to save your marriage and her agreeing with you is the only solution in her head. [/LIST] [/QUOTE]
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Married Life - What would you do - Advice
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