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SVTPerformance's Chain of Restaurants
Road Side Pub
Lost my mom, how to deal with it.
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<blockquote data-quote="slow06" data-source="post: 16258428" data-attributes="member: 112601"><p>I am hoping time will make it easier to get through day by day. Right now everything seems pretty fresh and small things are able to break me down a little right now. I have been going through my moms room, a lot of it brings back memories where I can smile and laugh. It's just ups and downs right now, like some wild roller coaster. </p><p></p><p>My sisters and brother have flown back home, I told them a few months ago to come out and see mom before it was too late and she wasn't able to have a real visit with them. They ended up coming out a couple days after the 4th of July. During the few days at hospice, everyone kept coming to me for answers that I didn't have. I am the youngest out of all the kids, and I have always asked them for answers. I remember my brother losing it and running out of the room and I had to chase him down the hall. I don't know if this sounds selfish or not, but I had to be there for everyone at the time, and had to put my emotions away to get everyone through it, and now I feel like them going home I can finally let some out. </p><p></p><p>Right now 2 of my sisters are at war over my moms ashes. One is basically holding them hostage and not wanting to spread them like my mom wanted to. My brother and I have decided to not be in the middle of it, we made our peace and accepted mom was going to move on to a better place, the night before she passed. My sisters are also planning some service for my mom out in California in late August, another thing my mom did not want. The 2 sisters have contacted me over and over trying to get me to choose sides, but I told them both, " I am not in it, and mom did not want to be held hostage and I would not be attending the service mom did not want" I got called a few names, but no biggie. My life is here in NC with my kids, I enjoy my work and just got a promotion. My sisters overwhelm me with their fighting they have been going at it for years, and I really don't got the time our patience for it, I have to keep my head clear for Anthony and the other kids.</p><p></p><p>I thought about my mom a lot to day, and realized how important we were to each other. When she was first diagnosed in 2014 she told me she accepted the fact that she was going to die, and I told her she can quit fighting but I wont and can't accept it. She fought through and beat it the first time. In 2017 when Anthony got diagnosed she ended up scraping me off the floor when I came home to tell her that Anthony had cancer. She told me "we would fight, and hes stronger than we think" she was right. This go around she knew from the start that the treatment wasn't going to do anything for her, but give her extra time. She did it and went through hell from the chemo. That extra time I got gave me so many more memories and time to become closer to my mom as I was the only one out here with her. All the Dr. visits and hospital trips telling old stories to each other, it was good times. The last afternoon she was home, we watched the cooking network, I think it was a show called "beat bobby flay" we watched it for like 5 hours, hanging out and talking. I am glad I got that extra time with my mom, and she was willing to go through hell just to give me it by doing treatment that was going to make her even more sick.</p><p></p><p>I really appreciate everyone here. It's a good place to come and vent on, and to be able to get stuff off my mind.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slow06, post: 16258428, member: 112601"] I am hoping time will make it easier to get through day by day. Right now everything seems pretty fresh and small things are able to break me down a little right now. I have been going through my moms room, a lot of it brings back memories where I can smile and laugh. It's just ups and downs right now, like some wild roller coaster. My sisters and brother have flown back home, I told them a few months ago to come out and see mom before it was too late and she wasn't able to have a real visit with them. They ended up coming out a couple days after the 4th of July. During the few days at hospice, everyone kept coming to me for answers that I didn't have. I am the youngest out of all the kids, and I have always asked them for answers. I remember my brother losing it and running out of the room and I had to chase him down the hall. I don't know if this sounds selfish or not, but I had to be there for everyone at the time, and had to put my emotions away to get everyone through it, and now I feel like them going home I can finally let some out. Right now 2 of my sisters are at war over my moms ashes. One is basically holding them hostage and not wanting to spread them like my mom wanted to. My brother and I have decided to not be in the middle of it, we made our peace and accepted mom was going to move on to a better place, the night before she passed. My sisters are also planning some service for my mom out in California in late August, another thing my mom did not want. The 2 sisters have contacted me over and over trying to get me to choose sides, but I told them both, " I am not in it, and mom did not want to be held hostage and I would not be attending the service mom did not want" I got called a few names, but no biggie. My life is here in NC with my kids, I enjoy my work and just got a promotion. My sisters overwhelm me with their fighting they have been going at it for years, and I really don't got the time our patience for it, I have to keep my head clear for Anthony and the other kids. I thought about my mom a lot to day, and realized how important we were to each other. When she was first diagnosed in 2014 she told me she accepted the fact that she was going to die, and I told her she can quit fighting but I wont and can't accept it. She fought through and beat it the first time. In 2017 when Anthony got diagnosed she ended up scraping me off the floor when I came home to tell her that Anthony had cancer. She told me "we would fight, and hes stronger than we think" she was right. This go around she knew from the start that the treatment wasn't going to do anything for her, but give her extra time. She did it and went through hell from the chemo. That extra time I got gave me so many more memories and time to become closer to my mom as I was the only one out here with her. All the Dr. visits and hospital trips telling old stories to each other, it was good times. The last afternoon she was home, we watched the cooking network, I think it was a show called "beat bobby flay" we watched it for like 5 hours, hanging out and talking. I am glad I got that extra time with my mom, and she was willing to go through hell just to give me it by doing treatment that was going to make her even more sick. I really appreciate everyone here. It's a good place to come and vent on, and to be able to get stuff off my mind. [/QUOTE]
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Lost my mom, how to deal with it.
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