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If you are having a bad night........

Discussion in 'Road Side Pub' started by SolarYellow, Oct 17, 2020.

  1. COOL COBRA

    COOL COBRA Hell Yes! Established Member

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    OP throws down harsh thread. I've been told I'm harsh.
    I would've kept this experience to myself.
    Exposing as this, is more harsh than myself can muster..
     
  2. CobraBob

    CobraBob Authorized Vendor Premium Member Established Member Single Barrel Sirs

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    @SolarYellow, here's something personal to hopefully give you a proper perspective.

    A few years ago, my son-in-law was diagnosed with Creutzfeldt-Jakobs disease. The brain literally eats itself and death comes within months. He was an active body builder (worked out every day in the gym), had his own very successful business, and a wonderful family (3 loving daughters and a VERY devoted and loving wife). As his brain deteriorated, it became difficult to take him places because his behavior was often erratic and strange. I remember one time we went to a local restaurant and I had printed cards for my daughter that she could give to, say, a waitress which explained his disease and behaviors. That particular day, he was especially erratic. The waitress was very understanding and we all tried to help Nigel as much as we could. Deep down, I remember wondering if he was having glimpses of understanding that he was in a battle for his life, and fighting as hard as he could to defeat it, feeling at times helpless. After all, he was a true fighter all his life. Long story short, as difficult a day as it was, we ALL had a wonderful time with him, and I'll cherish the day forever. I'd give anything to experience it again, if he was still alive. About 3 months later, we lost him to the disease. During those last 3 months, we all got to see his increasingly bizarre behavior, share in his struggle against death, encourage him, love him, care for him, cry with him, and, yes, laugh with him. Moments that none of us will ever forget. I'm sure others who saw him in public at times experienced inner anger or frustration because his battle was an inconvenience to them at the time. We, on the other hand, experienced some of the most wonderful days/times of loving a family member who had absolutely no control over his behavior, speech and actions. Sometimes to really understand another family's hardship you have to walk a mile, or a block, in their shoes. That's when the frustration lifts and grace and love abounds.
     
  3. MG0h3

    MG0h3 Well-Known Member Established Member

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    Op, it’s because of people like you that us folks with disabled kids are hesitant to take them out.

    FYI, it’s not uncommon for handicapped kids be be fed a liquid diet via a tube in their stomach. Then tend to have a lot of GI problems. The vomit is just as you described. Thick and smells horrible.

    Imagine what the child goes through. Then imagine what the parents go through.

    Hopefully you can learn from the feedback you’re getting here, because you should be ashamed of yourself.

    And no, not because of the retard comment. In a literal sense, it’s entirely accurate.


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  4. quad

    quad Well-Known Member Established Member

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    677499.png
     
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  5. SolarYellow

    SolarYellow Sensei Premium Member Established Member

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    Big time asshole unless, of course, taking your child out to eat (or out anywhere) after having emergency surgery Wednesday night is sensible.

    NO, I really don't. Now that you mention it, I guess they are only "friends" through marriage rather than an actual friendship derived from childhood or such. These people are the kind who believe everyone thinks their kid is cute and regardless of the environment the kid should always be there. Limits and boundaries are lacking. You know those types? The kid was clearly ill yet they felt they must be out and about. Irresponsible comes to mind. Exposed stapled wound on the head, was seriously ill for a week before the MD was called, lost at least 20lbs in the past week, etc..., yet lets bring the kid out?

    Much appreciated. No joking.

    Your story exemplifies someone who tried being as responsible and proactive as possible but unfortunately not every parent shares your strategy. Something tells me you address rather than ignore limitations.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020
  6. VegasMichael

    VegasMichael Well-Known Member Established Member

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    I was a kid in Rochester when Arthur Shawcross was active. I wouldn't have dinner with someone who looked like him. Aside from that, I'm wondering why the vomit wasn't tended to since it's widely considered to be a biohazard. Personally, I would have left the table after that.
     
  7. RALPH R

    RALPH R Well-Known Member Established Member

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    aww, poor baby had a bad dinner.
     
  8. FJohnny

    FJohnny Well-Known Member Established Member

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    If what he ordered for dinner in any way resembled the puke it would be upsetting. Does anyone know what he had?

    Some seafood alfredo dishes can look quite unfortunate.
     
  9. SVTdreamin04

    SVTdreamin04 What's a "Termi"??? Premium Member Established Member

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    I see what you’re saying about the parents taking their child out under the conditions the child was in. That does seem too soon to go out.

    The more you post, the more I see what you’re saying. Your first post just made you sound like someone who was rattled because your dinner was ruined.

    I have two kids and we have always told others when going out if we were bringing our kids, and if that was an issue, we weren’t going to go out with them at that time.


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  10. SolarYellow

    SolarYellow Sensei Premium Member Established Member

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    One who knowingly and willingly brings a sick and recovering child out to eat because mom and dad are hell bent on getting out shows carelessness, irresponsibility, selfishness and a general lack of concern for everyone. IMO much is exhibited when the parents continue to eat even though the ill child asks multiple times to go home, do not excuse themselves and take the child to the bathroom to clean the kid up, act shocked when other patrons get up and leave, etc.., Far too many parents are in their own fantasy realm and unfortunately it isn't about you (the parents I mean). The social commentary is accurate.
     
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  11. SVTdreamin04

    SVTdreamin04 What's a "Termi"??? Premium Member Established Member

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    100% agree.


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  12. ToddW702

    ToddW702 Well-Known Member Established Member

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    I think you have mis-read this crowd. We often bash bad behavior with relentless irony and down right savage. But I haven’t seen people on here lashing out at circumstances that are out of their control. I would have just wrote this off as a learning experience. I also understand parents have some responsibility when it comes to things like this. This can be a tough crowd but it is a good, in fact great one that can help correct the courses of assholes and dip shits alike. Not calling you either of those names, I reserve name calling for when I refer to myself.


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  13. My94GT

    My94GT Well-Known Member Established Member

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    this is a highly opinionated topic but my younger sister who passed away was special needs.....I have zero problem with the term retarded used correctly and not in a derogatory manor. To each their own.

    that said the OP sounds like a douche. If that the worst part of any given bad day you have consider yourself lucky. I feel for your friends, to keep people around like you shows just how good they are.
     
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  14. utlong31

    utlong31 Well-Known Member Established Member

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    Wow I read this early this morning and haven’t stopped thinking about it. Made me step back and thank about all the blessings I have. Thanks for sharing I couldn’t imagine going through something like this.


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  15. MG0h3

    MG0h3 Well-Known Member Established Member

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    Lots of new details now that paint your friends in a poor light. I question how accurate they are since none of this was in the original crybaby post.

    Regardless, you should just shut the **** up because if you don’t have a disabled child, you have ZERO idea what it’s like.

    FYI, disabled kids are basically always “sick”. If you stayed home because they might vomit, kid would probably never leave the house.

    I find it funny that you say they are living in a fantasy. What the **** do you know? Try living in a ****ing nightmare that never stops. Even worse, these parents are helpless to save the kid.


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  16. SolarYellow

    SolarYellow Sensei Premium Member Established Member

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    Your problems aren't MY problems but somehow you seem to think otherwise.
     
  17. SVTdreamin04

    SVTdreamin04 What's a "Termi"??? Premium Member Established Member

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    We don’t know OP’s back story, or at least most of us don’t. Maybe he has never experienced one bad thing in his life and this is why he reacted like he did, or maybe it’s the opposite and he’s hiding years of abuse or something who knows. Maybe he is just a jerk and doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

    No one knows why people react the way that they do, but everyone’s different and we can’t change that. We can only do what we think is right for ourselves and move on.

    My interactions with @SolarYellow have never been negative and I wouldn’t treat him any different if I met the dude in public. I would be a bit Leary about asking him to go to dinner with the fam though. Lol


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  18. MG0h3

    MG0h3 Well-Known Member Established Member

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    Not sure what you mean here. Care to elaborate?

    From what I can tell, you don’t have any problems, hence your inability to sympathize or understand someone else’s hardships.


    “BLM is doing God’s work”
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  19. SolarYellow

    SolarYellow Sensei Premium Member Established Member

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    Sure. Unless I somehow ask to take on your adversity, it is yours and yours alone and although that might sound terribly blunt, it is true. Showing sympathy and understanding doesn't make it any less true either. Reality is reality. Having a child with extreme issues means your life will not be as normal as you want and it also means you can't do whatever you want, whenever you want and however you want. Far too many parents seem to place their individual wants ahead of all else. The desire of going to a restaurant should be far outweighed by the welfare of your child and to a lesser extent the consideration of others should be pertinent as well.
     
  20. Steve@TF

    [email protected] Authorized Vendor Authorized Vendor

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    I was thinking that this is probably what you meant but i think you didnt communicate it effectively. I understand what you meant.

    As MG said, some disabled kids are always sick. Vomit and runny noses are everyday life. Perhaps this is the norm for them. Or perhaps the kid not feeling good from the surgery. None of us know.
    Sounds like a fairly serious surgery and the kid should be at home resting but i dont know.

    Saying someone is retarded is the old school verbiage. I was telling my wife that my mom worked at an elementary school in the 80s that was called “West Valley Trainable Mentally Retarded” lol. In the 90s they changed the name to “West Valley Special Education Center”. She was flabbergasted at the name but that was tbe norm back then. Just like how they used to call autistic people idiots. They even had “schools for idiots”. The Rain Man types were “idiot savants”.

    Nowadays the proper way (PC) to say it would be to say they have mental retardation. The person has the disabilty, they are not the disability. ie the person has autism, they are not autistic (though people still commonly say it). Im not a PC gung ho person, just fyi. Of course calling someone a “retard” is a whole different ballgame. Id call a friend a retard but not an actual disabled person. Saying the person is retarded is not the same as saying “he’s a retard”. Its not PC but its not derogatory. Calling someone “a retard” is poor form and crass if referring to a disabled person.


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