I am at odds with myself and my wife. I am not much on asking for advice on the net but I know the majority of the people on here are honest, straight up and I just need some answers. My wife's ex-brother-in-law just passed away. They want us to attend the funeral as family as if he was still a big part of the family. Which he was not after my sister-in-law died 6 years ago. I am really having a hard time dealing with this and my wife is being pressured by her 4 sisters to go as family because that's what he would have wanted. I really can't. This man crapped on me and my wife so bad years ago that we never really spoke a lot afterwards. My wife worked for her sister for 23 1/2 years and then for this man another 2 years, after her death, before he crapped on her again. This man talked to me so bad 28 years ago had I been the man I am today I would have probably hurt him, badly. He said things to me no one had said before or since. Same for my wife. My question is: Do you go and act like nothing ever happened and play all nice, nice? Do you go and make an appearance, for his kids sake, who are in their 30s and 40s, and then leave. I am at ends especially since I have seen my sister-in-laws shame my wife into thinking she has to go and that everything he did was good. I just don't know what to do. My heart says stay away, but my mind says people are dictating that I HAVE to go. Thanks in advance.