Anyone dealing with anger issues?

[Mentos]

I've always had a short temper, but luckily I never had it like my dad. He always had a very short fuse (never abusive or anything, just hot headed in a split second). Otherwise, he was a kind hearted joke maker.

Every other day, I find myself getting frustrated over small issues here and there. Most are small and insignificant. Even over small things I get pissy. Some things I can easily blow off, but some I can't. When I get frustrated over a mistake I make, I sometimes direct that outward which makes me look like a jerk and I feel ashamed at the way I acted after I've "cooled down".

Last night I couldn't sleep much, so I woke up feeling very groggy, and became irritated over somethibg small again. It was a miscommunication about dirty dishes in the dishwasher (a mishap on my end). I got pissy in front of my girlfriend on her way to work. It's not how I want to start the morning off with her as she leaves for work. I felt ashamed and apologized after I cooled down. She appreciated my apology, but she told me I need to work on my temper. I don't want this temper in my life. I'm usually very easy going and nice to everyone.

I did some research this morning regarding anger management classes and maybe even therapy.

Do you ever get irritated over such small things?

I'm tired of lashing out at the people I love and care for. In hear to vent and to get some advice.

Thanks guys/gals.

 

[BrunotheBoxer]

I ****n hate everyone but I take my anger out at the gym on the weights. I lift 4 days a week for one and a half hours of serious lifting. I pay a pro for my workout routines and eat real clean thanks to a great wife.

I truly believe if it were not for the gym and lifting I'd be in jail for murder or be dead.

This is my therapy.

 

[Rct851]

You should just start drinking more

 

[tones_RS3]

I kinda have a short fuse too. Every now and then I catch myself and try to cool down. (It helps to think about it for a second before exploding.)
Lifting and working out helps me. The weeks that I take off from working out are dangerous. LOL I'm very edgy and ready to go. :dancenana:

 

[03MUSCLE]

Yup, Ive got the same issues also. Its hard to catch myself when it happens it just happens. I have a Hot Blooded Italian girlfriend/fiance whos middle name is "PANIC BUTTON"................ITS SO HARD NOT TO REACT TO HER OUTBURST OF PANIC!!!!! MAYBE MEDICATION IS THE NEXT OPTION FOR ME. My dad is the same way HE EVENTUALLY STARTED TAKING PROZAC. SEEMED TO HELP SOME.

 

[ur bittn]

Serenity now! Just try not to sweat the small stuff. Although I do the road rage thing every once and awhile.

 

[HEMIHUNTER]

I've got a pretty long fuse but when I go I go big time. I really enjoy killing people online.{ That's why I only play FPS}.It's very soothing, especially after rescuing a bunch of 'civilians' then killing all of them just because you can or if they were rude to you before you wacked all the bad guys [Deus Ex Human Revolution for example].
Or play any FPs Multiplayer
Working out helps too.

 

[oldmodman]

All the time. But since I prefer my home to a small prison cell with Bubba I keep myself under control.

I just sit in my chair, laughing manically, and keep fondling.

My remote control.

 

[spectreman]

I'd add that jail or prison is generally not a pleasant place to visit.

I do not have a short fuse so I can't relate however I relieve stress through a variety of ways, mostly exercise and riding my motorcycle.

Soft style martial arts- tai chi, aikido, judo, jiu jitsu- are great for that because you have to focus so much on what you're doing, you cannot think about anything else.

I also lift heavily & frequently- again, the focus that's required drains me mentally and physically.
Lee

 

[CGLhawk260]

I was very hot hotted from 15-40 years old. A lot of cardio and strength training exercise has helped me calm down. However, once you reach 40 and start to see people around your age start to die or become ill life has a different prospective. I'm 46 now i can give **** if my lawn is cut or trimmed. Nothing bothers me as much anymore .. i wake up everyday, workout, i'm still employed, wife ,kids and i are happy and healthy. I get buzzed on the weekends drink and eat up and hopefully i can wake up and start my weekly routine over again. Also testosterone is a function of anger as you get older you lose testosterone which will decrease your anger

 

[Booky]

I have anger and anxiety issues, but I do not like to admit it.

I am always in a hurry to get everything done and I worry about all the things that are piling up during the week.

This increases my anxiety and if everything does not go smooth or as planned, I loose my temper and it can get pretty bad sometimes.

I finally went in and talked to my Dr. and she suggested putting my on Wellbutrin (IC bupropion).

I really did not want to take any prescription medication, but I had to do something.

I gave it a try and I have been on it almost a year. I take one tablet every morning.

It took about 2-3 months before I felt like it was even doing anything.

I am no longer anxious about upcoming tasks I have to get done during the week.
This was big for me as it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
I am now able to function throughout the day without losing my temper over the littlest thing.

I still get pissed from time to time over some things, but nowhere near how I used to be.

I think my wife and co-workers are happier than I am.;-)

 

[SLVRBLT]

I have a short fuse, usually is work related. When I see laziness and slacking off. I came from living on welfare as kid in PR to make a good living here and when I see people be lazy asses and not appreciate what they have, it really sets me off. Smoking releases that, obviously not a healthy alternative.

 

[Mentos]

Glad to hear I'm not the only one dealing with this. Looks like I need to find a healthy way to release the tension and also work on methods of controlling it.

Some days are better than others, but today has been a struggle. Thanks for the advice everyone.

 

[PowerWheels]

GT500 sideways at 60, that usually fixes me right up.

 

[Zemedici]

I have anxiety issues, that I medicate for.

I have never had anger issues, but my girl used to. I've showed her 'big picture' vs small picture (i.e. its not worth getting upset over 99.9% of the time) and she has come around. Slowly. Just takes some effort.



Just smoke some weed, bro. :lol:

 

[CV355]

I routinely work 60-90hrs a week (100-110's have happened).
I sleep 3-4hrs max per day
I drink coffee, water, and tea. That's it
I'm a walking ball of stress.

But, this thread isn't about me. It's about OP. I have some advice. I'm not an expert at stress/anger management, but these are some tricks that have helped me retain sanity:

Stress Management:
1) Breathing exercises. Simple. Ignore everything else around you. Inhale, and make it last 10 seconds, pause for 5 seconds when your lungs are full, exhale for 10 seconds. Do this until the stress/anger subsides. If you are really worked up and feel out of breath, do 5-5-5 until you can do 10-5-10. If you can, try to do 15-5-15. If you find that you are stammering breaths while inhaling, that means it is working- you'll feel the anger/stress go away as the breaths become more controlled. This has helped stop me from punching stupid people. Focus on the breathing and nothing else. It's like magic.

2) Tea. Kava and Valerian. Kava tea is excellent for stress/anger and tastes great. It cools me right down- even makes stress-related chest pains go away. Pill forms are available for kava, but they are very expensive ($40 for a month's supply), and they are high-test. DO NOT drink alcohol when using Kava or it can amplify liver damage. On it's own, non-interacted, kava is 100% safe. The tea is harmless in all forms.

Valerian is great if you take it 1hr before you need to sleep. Valerian smells awful but tastes earthy- mix in honey and it helps. It will knock you into a very deep sleep and you will wake up very refreshed (do NOT drive). A good sleep helps me keep the stress/anger levels down.

3) Do you use any stimulants? (caffeine / nicotine?). My only vice is coffee. I lived on caffeine since I was 14- often hitting 2000+mg of caffeine per day throughout college (I worked 50hrs/wk on top of college for an engineering degree). Not good. I have cut back to 120mg MAX (1 full cup of coffee) and it made a major difference. Stimulants do not help with stress, even if we think they do.

4) Exercise. If I get in a good workout, I am happy as a clam for a while.

5) This is a weird one- not for everyone. I got into very, very spicy foods for the stress-relieving aspect. Hot wings so hot you worry you'll melt the toilet- the pain releases endorphins the same way a good workout does. Pop a tums, get a glass of whole milk, and chow down on some hot wings. I would chop up and sear scorpion peppers into hamburger patties and top it with mango-habanero salsa. Flavor and heat. My wife was shocked at how happy I was after eating one of those burgers from hell. Work your way up or you'll regret it in the morning...

6) Introspection. Sometimes we do things that increase stress/anger subconsciously. In my case, I would grind my teeth and inadvertently tighten my upper ab muscles. This lead to migraines and chest pains (often misdiagnosed, btw). If you do a quick self-analysis, you might find habits that only add to the stress/anger.

Stress/anger kick in the stress-response from the body. We get a jolt of adrenaline for fight-or-flight. This narrows our perspective. I notice it a lot while driving, in fact, it's the reason I gave up motorcycles. I'd be cruising along and some jackass would pull a stunt and almost whack into me. Adrenaline. Boom. Now, my perspective changes and it feels like EVERYONE is out to get me. Response = more throttle. Now I'm exacerbating the situation because my perspective was altered, but you don't see it at the time- your body/mind are in survival mode.

I'm working through stress/anger management myself. I hope this helps you, OP, and good luck!

 

[03cobra#694]

I'm only gonna say a few things here. I can see it in posts by certain members (two who posted in this thread) along with many others. I used to be a complete hot head, maturity must take that away. Nothing is that serious to get that upset about, really. Life happens, shit happens, deal with and move on. OP, you're more than welcome to PM your number if you want to talk. I've gone through this myself, my kids. Keep in mind, my youngest is 29, so I may have some input.

 

[Deceptive]

I have/had anger issues, especially when I came back from deployment. I have been working on making myself better with regards to anger.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Mentos]

I routinely work 60-90hrs a week (100-110's have happened).
I sleep 3-4hrs max per day
I drink coffee, water, and tea. That's it
I'm a walking ball of stress.

But, this thread isn't about me. It's about OP. I have some advice. I'm not an expert at stress/anger management, but these are some tricks that have helped me retain sanity:

Stress Management:
1) Breathing exercises. Simple. Ignore everything else around you. Inhale, and make it last 10 seconds, pause for 5 seconds when your lungs are full, exhale for 10 seconds. Do this until the stress/anger subsides. If you are really worked up and feel out of breath, do 5-5-5 until you can do 10-5-10. If you can, try to do 15-5-15. If you find that you are stammering breaths while inhaling, that means it is working- you'll feel the anger/stress go away as the breaths become more controlled. This has helped stop me from punching stupid people. Focus on the breathing and nothing else. It's like magic.

2) Tea. Kava and Valerian. Kava tea is excellent for stress/anger and tastes great. It cools me right down- even makes stress-related chest pains go away. Pill forms are available for kava, but they are very expensive ($40 for a month's supply), and they are high-test. DO NOT drink alcohol when using Kava or it can amplify liver damage. On it's own, non-interacted, kava is 100% safe. The tea is harmless in all forms.

Valerian is great if you take it 1hr before you need to sleep. Valerian smells awful but tastes earthy- mix in honey and it helps. It will knock you into a very deep sleep and you will wake up very refreshed (do NOT drive). A good sleep helps me keep the stress/anger levels down.

3) Do you use any stimulants? (caffeine / nicotine?). My only vice is coffee. I lived on caffeine since I was 14- often hitting 2000+mg of caffeine per day throughout college (I worked 50hrs/wk on top of college for an engineering degree). Not good. I have cut back to 120mg MAX (1 full cup of coffee) and it made a major difference. Stimulants do not help with stress, even if we think they do.

4) Exercise. If I get in a good workout, I am happy as a clam for a while.

5) This is a weird one- not for everyone. I got into very, very spicy foods for the stress-relieving aspect. Hot wings so hot you worry you'll melt the toilet- the pain releases endorphins the same way a good workout does. Pop a tums, get a glass of whole milk, and chow down on some hot wings. I would chop up and sear scorpion peppers into hamburger patties and top it with mango-habanero salsa. Flavor and heat. My wife was shocked at how happy I was after eating one of those burgers from hell. Work your way up or you'll regret it in the morning...

6) Introspection. Sometimes we do things that increase stress/anger subconsciously. In my case, I would grind my teeth and inadvertently tighten my upper ab muscles. This lead to migraines and chest pains (often misdiagnosed, btw). If you do a quick self-analysis, you might find habits that only add to the stress/anger.

Stress/anger kick in the stress-response from the body. We get a jolt of adrenaline for fight-or-flight. This narrows our perspective. I notice it a lot while driving, in fact, it's the reason I gave up motorcycles. I'd be cruising along and some jackass would pull a stunt and almost whack into me. Adrenaline. Boom. Now, my perspective changes and it feels like EVERYONE is out to get me. Response = more throttle. Now I'm exacerbating the situation because my perspective was altered, but you don't see it at the time- your body/mind are in survival mode.

I'm working through stress/anger management myself. I hope this helps you, OP, and good luck!

Thank you for the advice. I need to get more rest. My lack of sleep doesn't help my temper. I'm off caffeine and other stimulants. I've heard of the valerian root. I will try that to see if it improves my sleep habits. I maaaay attempt the spicey food idea.

I'm only gonna say a few things here. I can see it in posts by certain members (two who posted in this thread) along with many others. I used to be a complete hot head, maturity must take that away. Nothing is that serious to get that upset about, really. Life happens, shit happens, deal with and move on. OP, you're more than welcome to PM your number if you want to talk. I've gone through this myself, my kids. Keep in mind, my youngest is 29, so I may have some input.

I appreciate your offer. I may take you up on it. I always appreciate others insight on things, especially those with more life experience. I'm 34 and still have growing up to do.

 

[Machdup1]

If you feel you have a problem, classes and theeapy a good idea.