NWS Pics that make you :lol: every time you see them NWS

MG01GT

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Oceanside Ca
Enjoy
1aa315ec61396508f341e7d3ba2604c0.jpg


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BigPoppa

Hope you enjoy the show
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Jan 24, 2016
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Your mom
I can testify....

Me. 21 years old.

No idea the unholy power of a liquid blessed by Satan himself called "Citrate of Magnesium".....

Had a bad gall bladder doctors thought was intestinal issues.

Had upper and lower GI scheduled for next day.

Worked the 4pm to midnight shift at assembly plant.

Was instructed to drink this demonic nectar the night before.

About a couple of hours in to shift, innocent me starts chugging Montezuma's moonshine.

Friend/supervisor approaches and asks what I was drinking. Answered with complete honesty as I had no idea what this brimstone inspired concoction truly was.

Friend starts busting out in laughter and tells me I'm done for the night. I think nothing of this and continue my work.

30 minutes later.....

I feel a deep, unnatural, gurgling in my gut.

I think I need to pass wind....

Worst mistake of my life.

I began to experience what I could only explain as an uncontrollable "seepage" began emerge from my nether hole, I began to beeline toward the closest bathroom I could find at a pace that could rival even champion powerwalkers for I couldn't run. I had 50 feet to cover clenching my anus tighter than than the most secure bank vaults.

Upon arrival at the bathroom, I unleashed what could only be described as an amatuer demonic exorcism, as I prayed that I would be spared from what I surely thought was my last moments on this world.

After about 40 intense minutes of me inventing new words in the English language, I felt like I was done. I proudly gathered myself, wiped, pulled my pants up, washed my hands, and proceeded back to my work station.

But my overconfidence betrayed me.....

I had not made it 10 feet from exiting the bathroom that I felt the pressure of what could have rivaled a MMA fighter performing roundhouse kicks on what would soon be the remnants of my sphincter.

I turned and shuffled my way back to the bathroom, because, at this moment, I was losing the battle for control of my own body.

Needless to say, I spent the rest of the shift in that bathroom, my poor anus turned into only what I could describe as raw ground beef.

Long story not short.....

May the man who decided to bottle this hex upon humanity endure whatever the worst punishment that can be found from the deepest basement of hell that the Devil himself considers offensive.
 

ZYBORG

Let's roll..
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Premium Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2006
Messages
21,022
Location
TX/S.FL
I can testify....

Me. 21 years old.

No idea the unholy power of a liquid blessed by Satan himself called "Citrate of Magnesium".....

Had a bad gall bladder doctors thought was intestinal issues.

Had upper and lower GI scheduled for next day.

Worked the 4pm to midnight shift at assembly plant.

Was instructed to drink this demonic nectar the night before.

About a couple of hours in to shift, innocent me starts chugging Montezuma's moonshine.

Friend/supervisor approaches and asks what I was drinking. Answered with complete honesty as I had no idea what this brimstone inspired concoction truly was.

Friend starts busting out in laughter and tells me I'm done for the night. I think nothing of this and continue my work.

30 minutes later.....

I feel a deep, unnatural, gurgling in my gut.

I think I need to pass wind....

Worst mistake of my life.

I began to experience what I could only explain as an uncontrollable "seepage" began emerge from my nether hole, I began to beeline toward the closest bathroom I could find at a pace that could rival even champion powerwalkers for I couldn't run. I had 50 feet to cover clenching my anus tighter than than the most secure bank vaults.

Upon arrival at the bathroom, I unleashed what could only be described as an amatuer demonic exorcism, as I prayed that I would be spared from what I surely thought was my last moments on this world.

After about 40 intense minutes of me inventing new words in the English language, I felt like I was done. I proudly gathered myself, wiped, pulled my pants up, washed my hands, and proceeded back to my work station.

But my overconfidence betrayed me.....

I had not made it 10 feet from exiting the bathroom that I felt the pressure of what could have rivaled a MMA fighter performing roundhouse kicks on what would soon be the remnants of my sphincter.

I turned and shuffled my way back to the bathroom, because, at this moment, I was losing the battle for control of my own body.

Needless to say, I spent the rest of the shift in that bathroom, my poor anus turned into only what I could describe as raw ground beef.

Long story not short.....

May the man who decided to bottle this hex upon humanity endure whatever the worst punishment that can be found from the deepest basement of hell that the Devil himself considers offensive.

Nice!
 

utlong31

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2017
Messages
496
I can testify....

Me. 21 years old.

No idea the unholy power of a liquid blessed by Satan himself called "Citrate of Magnesium".....

Had a bad gall bladder doctors thought was intestinal issues.

Had upper and lower GI scheduled for next day.

Worked the 4pm to midnight shift at assembly plant.

Was instructed to drink this demonic nectar the night before.

About a couple of hours in to shift, innocent me starts chugging Montezuma's moonshine.

Friend/supervisor approaches and asks what I was drinking. Answered with complete honesty as I had no idea what this brimstone inspired concoction truly was.

Friend starts busting out in laughter and tells me I'm done for the night. I think nothing of this and continue my work.

30 minutes later.....

I feel a deep, unnatural, gurgling in my gut.

I think I need to pass wind....

Worst mistake of my life.

I began to experience what I could only explain as an uncontrollable "seepage" began emerge from my nether hole, I began to beeline toward the closest bathroom I could find at a pace that could rival even champion powerwalkers for I couldn't run. I had 50 feet to cover clenching my anus tighter than than the most secure bank vaults.

Upon arrival at the bathroom, I unleashed what could only be described as an amatuer demonic exorcism, as I prayed that I would be spared from what I surely thought was my last moments on this world.

After about 40 intense minutes of me inventing new words in the English language, I felt like I was done. I proudly gathered myself, wiped, pulled my pants up, washed my hands, and proceeded back to my work station.

But my overconfidence betrayed me.....

I had not made it 10 feet from exiting the bathroom that I felt the pressure of what could have rivaled a MMA fighter performing roundhouse kicks on what would soon be the remnants of my sphincter.

I turned and shuffled my way back to the bathroom, because, at this moment, I was losing the battle for control of my own body.

Needless to say, I spent the rest of the shift in that bathroom, my poor anus turned into only what I could describe as raw ground beef.

Long story not short.....

May the man who decided to bottle this hex upon humanity endure whatever the worst punishment that can be found from the deepest basement of hell that the Devil himself considers offensive.

That was some funny crap. 10 times funnier than the original. I could barley read it I was laughing so hard. Thanks. I’ve never experienced it myself and pray I won’t.


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rwleonard

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Jul 4, 2017
Messages
974
Reminds me of a friend, telling me about the time his brother told their father he was gay. After things settled down, the father asked, "What do you people even do?" The son replied, "You know all that stuff you wish mom would do, but she won't? That's what we do."
 

Uncle Meat

Zircon Encrusted Tweezers
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Joined
Sep 22, 2002
Messages
6,344
Location
Prattville, Alabama
I can attest to the toilet story above. After having experienced at least a half-dozen colonoscopy's in the past 7 years I can totally relate to said story, only difference is you have to drink damn near a half-gallon of that shit in 8 oz doses every 15 minutes.

U.M.
 

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