Lost my mom, how to deal with it.

Lost my Dad to Suicide in 2015. We were business partners and very close through most of his life. I was the last person he spoke to before making his choice and that weighs heavy when I sit back and think on it.

I didn't read all the reply's here but I found some comfort in a crazy place. I had never believed in psychics, ghosts, or mediums before but my sister turned me on to one in Phoenix and it has been a life changing experience. www.faragibson.com Take a look into it. It might be the best $200 you've ever spent. My first call (I'm in Colorado and she's in Phoenix) was a game changer. I was in tears in less than five minutes from the things she was telling me.

Good luck, God Bless.

Can’t imagine what you’re going through. Sorry for your loss.

Lost my Dad to Suicide in 2015. We were business partners and very close through most of his life. I was the last person he spoke to before making his choice and that weighs heavy when I sit back and think on it.

I didn't read all the reply's here but I found some comfort in a crazy place. I had never believed in psychics, ghosts, or mediums before but my sister turned me on to one in Phoenix and it has been a life changing experience. www.faragibson.com Take a look into it. It might be the best $200 you've ever spent. My first call (I'm in Colorado and she's in Phoenix) was a game changer. I was in tears in less than five minutes from the things she was telling me.

Good luck, God Bless.

I am hoping time will make it easier to get through day by day. Right now everything seems pretty fresh and small things are able to break me down a little right now. I have been going through my moms room, a lot of it brings back memories where I can smile and laugh. It's just ups and downs right now, like some wild roller coaster.

My sisters and brother have flown back home, I told them a few months ago to come out and see mom before it was too late and she wasn't able to have a real visit with them. They ended up coming out a couple days after the 4th of July. During the few days at hospice, everyone kept coming to me for answers that I didn't have. I am the youngest out of all the kids, and I have always asked them for answers. I remember my brother losing it and running out of the room and I had to chase him down the hall. I don't know if this sounds selfish or not, but I had to be there for everyone at the time, and had to put my emotions away to get everyone through it, and now I feel like them going home I can finally let some out.

Right now 2 of my sisters are at war over my moms ashes. One is basically holding them hostage and not wanting to spread them like my mom wanted to. My brother and I have decided to not be in the middle of it, we made our peace and accepted mom was going to move on to a better place, the night before she passed. My sisters are also planning some service for my mom out in California in late August, another thing my mom did not want. The 2 sisters have contacted me over and over trying to get me to choose sides, but I told them both, " I am not in it, and mom did not want to be held hostage and I would not be attending the service mom did not want" I got called a few names, but no biggie. My life is here in NC with my kids, I enjoy my work and just got a promotion. My sisters overwhelm me with their fighting they have been going at it for years, and I really don't got the time our patience for it, I have to keep my head clear for Anthony and the other kids.

I thought about my mom a lot to day, and realized how important we were to each other. When she was first diagnosed in 2014 she told me she accepted the fact that she was going to die, and I told her she can quit fighting but I wont and can't accept it. She fought through and beat it the first time. In 2017 when Anthony got diagnosed she ended up scraping me off the floor when I came home to tell her that Anthony had cancer. She told me "we would fight, and hes stronger than we think" she was right. This go around she knew from the start that the treatment wasn't going to do anything for her, but give her extra time. She did it and went through hell from the chemo. That extra time I got gave me so many more memories and time to become closer to my mom as I was the only one out here with her. All the Dr. visits and hospital trips telling old stories to each other, it was good times. The last afternoon she was home, we watched the cooking network, I think it was a show called "beat bobby flay" we watched it for like 5 hours, hanging out and talking. I am glad I got that extra time with my mom, and she was willing to go through hell just to give me it by doing treatment that was going to make her even more sick.

I really appreciate everyone here. It's a good place to come and vent on, and to be able to get stuff off my mind.

Sorry for your loss. I'm nearing the point where my parents are getting older and older. I know what happens and it will not be fun. Cancer blows but at least you get to say goodbye. I know life sucks right now but that's just life. It goes on and it will get better. Just try to remember the good times instead of the end.

Sorry for your loss. Yes, grief will make us do things that seem odd, but it will pass. For me it was different for my Mom and Dad.

Dad passed away first. We knew it was coming, he had no regrets and he was ready to go. His last words were, “Get out of here and get back to work.” Which if you knew my Dad, it wouldn’t surprise you. We cried at the funeral, then got back to work. He was gone, but he had raised us take care of ourselves and our loved ones, and it was on us, now.

When Mom died a couple of years later, I was expecting the same sort of mourning. I could not have been more wrong. Totally different, and it went on for over a year. Mostly functional, but every now and then, at the oddest damn intervals, the sadness hit like a ton of bricks and I’d start crying all over again.

I still miss them, that’ll never change. But the mourning is over. Took about a year.


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Adrian, I'm so sorry for your loss. My mother passed away at age 59. I was 26. I felt like I lost my soul when she died. She had terminal cancer like your mother. She had been in the hospital for three months. I got a call that she had had a heart attack so I caught a ride with my sister-in-law from Corpus Christi to Houston. When I got to her room, there were no monitors - nothing. I asked angrily why not. They told me that to die of a heart attack would be a blessing because she could linger for months. I realized I was being selfish. I spent the day with my mother, knowing it would probably be the last time I'd see her. I told her I loved her, and I told her goodbye. I got home at around midnite, and got the phone call at about 3:00 a.m. that she had passed.

You have to remember that death is the hardest for those who are left behind. Your mother is free from her pain, but you are left with the heartache. How you deal with it is the hardest. Keep her alive in your heart, talk about fun times and keep her memory fresh. That's all I can say. I hate death, but it's inevitable for all of us. I've lost both parents and my husband. It doesn't get any easier, but know that you loved her and she loved you. Prayers for you.

I’m so sorry for your loss and am happy Anthony is healthy.

What was your moms name?

I am sorry for your loss. There is nothing more powerful than love and loss between humans. Just remember there are many people that love you too, and it is those people that you should reach out to. I suggest taking a nice long vacation. Maybe a camping trip, or a trip to the beach. Clear your head, get away from work, get away from the busy life. Take some good friends with you.

I lost my mom to cancer not even two weeks after diagnosis. It was rough because you could see her decline daily. My Mom, like yours was brave thru the whole ordeal. She was a very religious woman who knew where she was going after her life on Earth was called off. Knowing she had accepted she was dying helped me some, but it took me a while to get back to normal. I had some help. I had my newborn first daughter who wasn't even a month old to help me keep my mind straight.

My dad on the other hand joined a hospice group to help him cope with her death. That group of people (widowed husbands'/ wives' and so on) were wonderful to him. My mom has been gone since 2014, which is when my Dad started this program and he still goes every Tuesday to eat with his Hospice group. You might look into something like that to help you get over the hump.


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My Grandfather and Grandmother hit me harder than anything. The two people who loved me unconditionally, never judged me and would do anything for me. My mom left my dad when I was two and he passed a few days before my 25th birthday. I never knew him, so I didn't really care. I don't speak to my mother, she is vile and harmful to my well being. Plus she is a Democrat and a vile one at that. When my Grandfather passed his ashes were to be spread between Duke Field which is on Eglin Airforce Base and his home town. Neither has happened and my mother even put some in my Grandmother's coffin. He did not want a service where he was on display for the world to see...it just wasn't him. Yet they did that. Years later my mother and four uncles are still fighting over property, houses and everything else. It sickens me to death. IMO the best thing you can do is live by her wishes.

So sorry for your lose, may your mother rest in peace. I also lost my mom 25yrs ago when I was 13. As said, keep busy, love your cherished ones, & stay strong while the pain & sorrow slowly fade.

A piece of you will be missing forever.

You get through it by honoring their memory through words and deeds.

Tell us your favorite memory of her.

Beatrice Rose Ramirez was her name.

BrunotheBoxer said:

I’m so sorry for your loss and am happy Anthony is healthy.

What was your moms name?

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My favorite memory of her was when I got my 03 cobra, she complained about it being small and too loud, but she would always want me to take her to the store in it.

I pulled up to the house after I got it and she came outside saying she heard me a mile away, than asked me if it was fast. I ended up taking her for a ride in it and doing a couple of pulls with her. She laughed and called me nuts, but her smile is what I remember. I wish I would of caught it on camera.

She would always hear me coming down the street and would call me to tell me to keep it down haha. Damn I miss her.

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slow06 said:

My favorite memory of her was when I got my 03 cobra, she complained about it being small and too loud, but she would always want me to take her to the store in it.

I pulled up to the house after I got it and she came outside saying she heard me a mile away, than asked me if it was fast. I ended up taking her for a ride in it and doing a couple of pulls with her. She laughed and called me nuts, but her smile is what I remember. I wish I would of caught it on camera.

She would always hear me coming down the street and would call me to tell me to keep it down haha. Damn I miss her.

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What you're doing now is the best way to cope with her loss. I'm sure you've got even more memories tucked away you should share.

I always remember my Mom telling me I couldn't leave anything alone when it came to a vehicle. So now, every time I go to do something to a vehicle, I can hear her saying "why can't you just leave it alone?" That always brings a smile to my face.


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I’m sorry for your loss slow06.
Death is but another path, one we all must take. We cannot escape it but those we leave behind with our legacy will remember us wether good or bad. That legacy is shown by how much you are loved, by those you leave behind. For now, you will live on in them. Cherish your time with her as I know you will, but if you believe it, you will see her again.
Though I don’t have a very good relationship with my mother I can understand where you’re coming from. I’m close with my grandparents, and I’m dreading the day when their time comes. I’ve said several times on here that if I find a girl who is like my grandmother I’m marrying her. And with said girl I’m naming my first two children (if boy and girl) after my grandparents.
I’d recommend (as others have said already) surrounding yourself with your hobbies and friends. If your mind is anything like mine then you’ll dwell on the loss and will make things worse.


Pick your poison.

Great news is you don’t have to deal with it to answer the thread title.

If it’s a do it yourself job make sure you check your local laws and ordinances first. I wouldn’t recommend this route.

I would recommend calling a reputable funeral parlor, but don’t agree to first pencil offering on price. Shop around.

Local guy in Dayton, OH is running a $2800 special price service. I’ll see if I can get a pic of the billboard.

Sorry for your loss, but let the professionals deal with it.