Thursday Joke!

ssssnake

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Jul 20, 2002
Messages
14,445
Location
in the trees
Happy Valentine's Day! Here's a few funnies to help celebrate....

What is the difference between a calendar and me?
A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.


My wife rang me at work on Valentine's Day. She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received bunches of flowers. They're absolutely gorgeous."

I said, "That's probably why they've been sent flowers then."


For the last twenty years, I've received a Valentine's Day card from the same secret admirer.
So, I was upset when I didn't get one this year.
First my grandma dies, now this?


Valentine's Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.


This year, I'll be spending Valentine's Fay with my ex...... box 360.


I can't wait for Valentine's Day because I get to make cupcakes for a special someone, and that special someone is me.


A wife asks her husband, "How would you describe me?"

He replies, "ABCDEFGHIJK."

The confused wife asks, "What does that mean?"

Her husband replies, "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

The wife says, "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

"I'm just kidding!"


He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.

He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh. By this time, the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.

The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.

"Why are you stopping?" she whispered.

He whispered back, "I found the remote."
 

MDShelby

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Premium Member
Joined
Mar 2, 2012
Messages
3,758
Location
Maryland
Damn funny! I saw a picture of the expiration date of "Feb14" on a gallon of milk with the caption "my milk has a date on Valentine's Day and I don't".
My Valentine's Day is easy - the wife is in Mexico.
Happy Valentine's Day Mary! Thanks for the daily laugh!!
 

Users who are viewing this thread



Top