Well damn Mr Debbie downer.
You could always try guys.
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What's the point of marriage?
- Thread starter VegasMichael
- Start date
Well damn Mr Debbie downer.
You could always try guys.
Sent from my iPhone using the svtperformance.com mobile app
Just FYI, In many areas, living together for X number of years is viewed as a "common law" marriage under the law and is trated the same as a legal marriage. Here in Canada that can be as little as 1 year if you have a child together.
I was married once and it went about as badly as it could go. Luckily she came to her senses later on and let me off easy in the divorce. I won't be making that mistake again (unless she's rich...LOL!!)
I was married once and it went about as badly as it could go. Luckily she came to her senses later on and let me off easy in the divorce. I won't be making that mistake again (unless she's rich...LOL!!)
My view on marriage, if you plan to pro-create, you can leverage the "system". Some examples... You get taxed less. Healthcare insurance is cheaper. Auto insurance is cheaper. Lenders like the appearance of stability and are more likely to give couples long-term loans at lower rates.
I am kind of split on the whole "2 income" vs "stay at home mom". I think that if you don't earn a lot, you both need to work and split housework, but then someone else ends up taking most of the extra cash and raising your kid while mom and dad work.
Once your kids are grown, or if you don't plan on having kids... its a giant trap and a waste of time. After 27 years, the only benefit I have is knowing that she was born a she. All the other relationship stuff can still exist without being married.
I am kind of split on the whole "2 income" vs "stay at home mom". I think that if you don't earn a lot, you both need to work and split housework, but then someone else ends up taking most of the extra cash and raising your kid while mom and dad work.
Once your kids are grown, or if you don't plan on having kids... its a giant trap and a waste of time. After 27 years, the only benefit I have is knowing that she was born a she. All the other relationship stuff can still exist without being married.
LOL dick
Agreed to an extent, and yes, I have been to the deepest darkest bowels of the dating world and I have actually stopped for the most part because of how bad it is and how unhealthy it pretty much was. I still date but I take a much more cautious and smarter approach rather than just meet women online and rapid date like I did a few years ago.
What I meant is that it is supposed to be healthier if you have a partner in a good relationship. I had read that people who have partners live longer than people who are alone which makes a lot of sense if your marriage is a good. I also read that like 1 in 4 millenials or young people will now go through their lives alone which is crazy, and I think it means basically never settling down with someone.
Dated 7 years.
Wanted kids after finishing raising kids from first marriage.
Pre-nup
Got married
Have more children.
She works from home and on the go while she cooks, cleans, laundry, and runs the kids to and from school 25 miles away.
She is younger, built for riding, a sweetheart, rarely screws up a meal.
Not a slave to fashion, cleans up and looks great when she wants to.
( Newt Gingrich complemented her in front of me at a Trump resort )
She can drink with me, laugh with me, talk with me about anything.
Currently the main care giver to my father living with us with dementia.
Gets up at 4:30am 3 days a week to run him to dialysis 20 miles away and then picks him up at 10.
I know I'm one lucky man!
Only bad thing is she bucks like a mule if I put my hand on her ass when she's sleeping. Hence the late night post.
Wanted kids after finishing raising kids from first marriage.
Pre-nup
Got married
Have more children.
She works from home and on the go while she cooks, cleans, laundry, and runs the kids to and from school 25 miles away.
She is younger, built for riding, a sweetheart, rarely screws up a meal.
Not a slave to fashion, cleans up and looks great when she wants to.
( Newt Gingrich complemented her in front of me at a Trump resort )
She can drink with me, laugh with me, talk with me about anything.
Currently the main care giver to my father living with us with dementia.
Gets up at 4:30am 3 days a week to run him to dialysis 20 miles away and then picks him up at 10.
I know I'm one lucky man!
Only bad thing is she bucks like a mule if I put my hand on her ass when she's sleeping. Hence the late night post.
I've honestly never researched the pros and cons of marriage from a legal and financial standpoint, but regardless of that, if anything happens to my current marriage, I will not be remarrying no matter how happy I am in the new relationship. I just don't see the point.
Mine as well. I think there have only been one or two times when she has gone "I think we need to hold off for now." (at the same time, I go into Scrooge McDuck mode any time I want to save up for something) Most level-headed woman I've ever met in my life.
We're going on 6 years, well out of the "newlywed phase," and believe me, life has thrown a lot at the two of us. There are scars for sure, but we always come out stronger. Getting married was the best decision of my life thus far.
20+ years on both sides of this discussion, it comes down to whatever makes you happy. For me, money is not part of the equation..
Can get married for less than $100.
IMHO not getting married means no one is commintted long term. Marriage does not mean they will stay, but that's the commitment.
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Been with my girlfriend for about 9 years. Lived together for 8 years. So we’re basically married in my opinion. But she pressures me constantly about buying her a ring. To the point where I can’t save money to buy myself toys, unless I get her a ring first. I’m almost to the point to just buy a ring, just to “get it out of the way”. Which is not very healthy.
So I don’t really see a point in marriage. It’s just a title for a couple to have. My parents are divorced, and I grew up watching my parents argue a lot. So I was never around the traditional “happy” marriage couple.
So I don’t really see a point in marriage. It’s just a title for a couple to have. My parents are divorced, and I grew up watching my parents argue a lot. So I was never around the traditional “happy” marriage couple.
just based on the above...I'd say marriage is not in the cards and definitely would not force it if that's how things feel. There will be a lot of resentment and finger pointing down the road.
I had an ex-gf that was the same way about pressuring to marry, hated me working on, buying parts for cars...Glad I told that one to hit the ****ing bricks.
A lot of people are getting married because 'that's what you're supposed to do' and they blindly follow the herd. Then, they have kids, again because 'that's what you're supposed to do,' throw them in the minivan and are absolutely miserable. This is not what marriage should be, and I believe this is why a lot of marriages fail.
To me, marriage is about a real, seriously contemplated and well-thought-out commitment. It's about forming a true partnership for life. Those that aren't willing to get married (in my opinion) may be 99% there for the long-term, but it definitely sends a message of: if I find something better, I'm out. It's the difference between a gentleman's handshake (which may be plenty good for most) and a signed and sealed contract.
Haha, you are definitely not ready to get married.
To me, marriage is about a real, seriously contemplated and well-thought-out commitment. It's about forming a true partnership for life. Those that aren't willing to get married (in my opinion) may be 99% there for the long-term, but it definitely sends a message of: if I find something better, I'm out. It's the difference between a gentleman's handshake (which may be plenty good for most) and a signed and sealed contract.
Haha, you are definitely not ready to get married.
Just celebrated our first year of marriage last night. For us it wasn’t about religion as neither of us really have any beliefs on that front.
I think it was mostly don’t out of respect to our parents beliefs be it religious or cultural. Personally I just view it as a form of my total commitment to one person (obviously this can be done with out marriage or a ring) but I was comfortable with it and our families had the disposable income for us to have a big wedding for our friends and family to partake in and enjoy.
As far as fiscal benefit, I’m likely in the odd boat where even though I’m the sole provider now that my wife stays home to care for our child, long term I’ll benefit. I make very good money and we have a house and some cars we’ve bought together but ultimately her mother has big money and has set my wife up for a very secure future. Oddly it really helps take any long term fiscal stress off of us and hopefully my career keeps accelerating as it has in the past couple years so we can build to do the same for our son and next child we plan to have.
I think it was mostly don’t out of respect to our parents beliefs be it religious or cultural. Personally I just view it as a form of my total commitment to one person (obviously this can be done with out marriage or a ring) but I was comfortable with it and our families had the disposable income for us to have a big wedding for our friends and family to partake in and enjoy.
As far as fiscal benefit, I’m likely in the odd boat where even though I’m the sole provider now that my wife stays home to care for our child, long term I’ll benefit. I make very good money and we have a house and some cars we’ve bought together but ultimately her mother has big money and has set my wife up for a very secure future. Oddly it really helps take any long term fiscal stress off of us and hopefully my career keeps accelerating as it has in the past couple years so we can build to do the same for our son and next child we plan to have.
I've seen divorces go both ways.
One of our friends found out her husband was cheating on her, he kicked her out of the house and wanted a divorce.
Was a mentally abusive dude.
Even though she lawyered up she got railroaded in the process. Couldn't even get one of the dogs.
Semi long marriage too. 10 or so years.
One of our friends found out her husband was cheating on her, he kicked her out of the house and wanted a divorce.
Was a mentally abusive dude.
Even though she lawyered up she got railroaded in the process. Couldn't even get one of the dogs.
Semi long marriage too. 10 or so years.
Been together 17 years, lived together for 10.
Both been there done that with marriage, her two kids, me none.
Her Daughter is now 28 with a 7 year old son, lives on her own has a good job, her son is 23, lives with us, works full time, but still trying to figure out what he wants to do.
Both been there done that with marriage, her two kids, me none.
Her Daughter is now 28 with a 7 year old son, lives on her own has a good job, her son is 23, lives with us, works full time, but still trying to figure out what he wants to do.
Someone needs to go to a mini-van forum and find out what all the women are saying in their thread...
Some depressing shit in here.
Some depressing shit in here.
This is really weird. I was actually thinking about this on the way to work.
I'm new to being married. About 3 months or so. We've had a few small fights here and there. Things have definitely changed, as it's no longer "Fine, I'm going to the bar and hitting on anything with lady parts and getting laid". It's now "Dammit, we have to fix this, we can't just walk away".
As I have come to learn, marriage is less about the romance and more about the mundane. It's a commitment to each other, but it's a different way. You have a partner in everything now. Need to do taxes? She's there. Need to raise kids? She's there. Need to deal with family drama? She's there. Want to eat ice cream, drink beer, and watch football? She's there.
But in the mundane, she's also there for the good stuff. Want to vacation? She's there. Want to go to Cars and Coffee? There too. Want to go to a fancy expensive restaurant? Yep, there she is. Etc.
Marriage is about the commitment to be in a persons life, no matter what. You can talk about love and romance, but I think it's truly a commitment to be someones best friend but with romance. And most people who find themselves unhappy in marriage probably don't have that sort of relationship with their SO. They're friends, but they do their own things and just come together for kids, taxes, and dates. Otherwise they avoid each other. Not the right way to approach things IMO.
I'm new to being married. About 3 months or so. We've had a few small fights here and there. Things have definitely changed, as it's no longer "Fine, I'm going to the bar and hitting on anything with lady parts and getting laid". It's now "Dammit, we have to fix this, we can't just walk away".
As I have come to learn, marriage is less about the romance and more about the mundane. It's a commitment to each other, but it's a different way. You have a partner in everything now. Need to do taxes? She's there. Need to raise kids? She's there. Need to deal with family drama? She's there. Want to eat ice cream, drink beer, and watch football? She's there.
But in the mundane, she's also there for the good stuff. Want to vacation? She's there. Want to go to Cars and Coffee? There too. Want to go to a fancy expensive restaurant? Yep, there she is. Etc.
Marriage is about the commitment to be in a persons life, no matter what. You can talk about love and romance, but I think it's truly a commitment to be someones best friend but with romance. And most people who find themselves unhappy in marriage probably don't have that sort of relationship with their SO. They're friends, but they do their own things and just come together for kids, taxes, and dates. Otherwise they avoid each other. Not the right way to approach things IMO.
Other than reasons of faith and child rearing i would say there is no logical reason to get married.
Me personally as a christian i believe that God has a plan for my life and that my wife is integral to it. Within the 1st couple of dates i knew 100% that i would spend the rest of my life with her. That was almost 8yrs ago and now we have 2 beautiful children. I truly believe God has ordained that we be together.
In another life if i were an atheist or something i wouldn't see any reason to be "tied down." People getting married because of social pressure to conform or financial reasons are making a huge mistake IMO.
Me personally as a christian i believe that God has a plan for my life and that my wife is integral to it. Within the 1st couple of dates i knew 100% that i would spend the rest of my life with her. That was almost 8yrs ago and now we have 2 beautiful children. I truly believe God has ordained that we be together.
In another life if i were an atheist or something i wouldn't see any reason to be "tied down." People getting married because of social pressure to conform or financial reasons are making a huge mistake IMO.
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