Life is taking a new direction

fangstang

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Any woman that keeps the ring is a bitch. That ring was given to her to symbolize their promise of marriage. If that longer exists, it should be given back. There is no meaning to it anymore. If she keeps it, its purely to make money on it. **** that.
 

_Snake_

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Thank you for all the deep information, guys. I know that everyone's situation seems to be vastly different with varying circumstances..

On the "even or odd ends" thing that was discussed above:

She has a good job and makes about the same amount of money that I do... That being said, she usually doesn't have a dime to show for it and it has always been up to me to take care "big" expenses for her/us...

We made an agreement when she moved in that she would pay the utilities/groceries and I would pay the mortgage (and she always did). All of our cars are paid off. This amounts to maybe $450/month...(nothing)

She spends a lot of her money buying things for the kids, which I honestly don't have a problem with but don't see why she doesn't/shouldn't have at least several thousand dollars in the bank... If the kids go to the doctor, she and her ex split the bills and any other kid-related expenses...

She owes me $4,000 for her old car which I recently sold after I bought her a new one (paid for). She doesn't want to give me this money now because she says she needs it to "start all over" in her new place that she has found to rent in the next town over that she has always wanted to live in the first place because her kids go to school there, her family lives there, and it would be more convenient for her and the kids. Moving there would turn my 15 min work commute to 40 mins each way and it has ZERO benefit for me (I hate the town).. Where I currently live is equal for both of us to work.

She says she will give me the ring back which appraises for around $7k but I'm sure I wont be able to get that much for it..

She also wants the golf cart that I bought for us and the kids 2 Christmases ago. I also just spent $1400 putting new batteries and other things on it as it has been sitting for months.

So, there's all that too....

Cliffs from me: keep the golf cart because you probably aren’t getting the ring or the $4k. The ring, maybe. IF she decides to return it. Trying to sue her for it will be a huge PITA and you’ll be lucky to break even after selling it. Speaking of, you’ll probably get 40-50% of what you paid. That’s about what I was able to get for a “recovered” engagement ring and in line with what almost everyone I know received in a similar situation.
 

Beavis281

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A lot of good support here. All well said.

I’m going to be honest......

Go out. Get some strange. Then the thought of her will never cross your mind again.
 

7upstang

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Legally the ring is yours, it's considered a contract. My father in law told me this before I got engaged to his daughter, at that point she knew we weren't getting engaged on Christmas day. Keep the golf car as well, you'll probably never see the $4K.

Most jewelry stores will give you credit for a ring at the time you "upgrade".

If you paid $7K, most will give you the $7K back if you "upgrade" the current ring. Typically you may have to spend a certain minimum. Just a thought, you may meet the right woman in the next few years.
 

lilcoop03

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She has told me that she will give the ring back, "even though I don't deserve it" because I broke a promise etc etc..

I paid ~$4500 for it but have paperwork for a $6900 appraisal value. Hopefully I can get at least half of that back somehow.

I don't think I will get the $4k back either. She says that she has spent $3k that I supposedly didn't know about on wedding stuff. (dress, save the dates, etc)

She mentioned "buying" the gold cart. I don't see how shes going to be able to to do that. Not anytime soon anyways...
 

Zemedici

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The **** do two <10 year olds need a golf cart for?

Have her pay you for it, or keep it. Love how she’s still trying to call the shots....

And she can get reimbursed for the money she spent on wedding shit
 

Never_Enough

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The **** do two <10 year olds need a golf cart for?

Have her pay you for it, or keep it. Love how she’s still trying to call the shots....

And she can get reimbursed for the money she spent on wedding shit
She can buy the cart, but can't pay him the $4k she owes? Women are something else.
 

capnkirk52

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Yes you have to do what is best for you. That said If you really loved her and were good together then things can work out. That is a screwed up arrangement for kids though. 2/2 and every other weekend?

I was gonna say the same thing 2 days on/off sounds like the worst possible arrangement for parenting time.

Have they ever tried something different? I think that's a major source of stress. Tell them to try week on/off and see if your relationship improves.
 

lilcoop03

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I was gonna say the same thing 2 days on/off sounds like the worst possible arrangement for parenting time.

Have they ever tried something different? I think that's a major source of stress. Tell them to try week on/off and see if your relationship improves.

Its too late, man. I bet that week on/off would make a big difference but this 2 day crap is what they choose because she doesn't want to go a week without seeing them, even though the 10 year old has an iphone7 and calls her/facetimes her when we don't have them.. I don't know if their dad would want the weekly thing or not
 

lilcoop03

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The **** do two <10 year olds need a golf cart for?

Have her pay you for it, or keep it. Love how she’s still trying to call the shots....

And she can get reimbursed for the money she spent on wedding shit
They definitely don't. Hell, they haven't ridden on it since September last year. Granted, it was broken but its been fixed for weeks and they haven't touched it. We used to ride it a good bit because I have a small yard but live a 3 min gold cart ride away from a very nice park for the kids to play at.
 

DaleM

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God damned son, piihb and be gone with her.

Quit being a child with any thing of value she may take, it will be the best money you have wasted.

Sent from my hairy pimpled buttocks using the svtperformance.com mobile app
 

Ford>Chevy

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No shame in chasing happiness for yourself. Sometimes it's ok to be selfish, and while it may hurt initially, you'll likely be happy you chose to pursue that life of working on your car, and drinking with your buddies. Life is to short to question your choices, happiness should always be at the top of your list. Tough decision though OP I imagine. Also don't get caught up with the "seems like 99% of people are married and have kids." Who gives a crap. Don't let anyone tell you how you should be living your life. Tell them to go pound sand and do what makes you happy.
 
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