If you are having a bad night........

COOL COBRA

Hell Yes!
Established Member
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
4,671
Location
Southern Mo.
OP throws down harsh thread. I've been told I'm harsh.
I would've kept this experience to myself.
Exposing as this, is more harsh than myself can muster..
 

CobraBob

Authorized Vendor
Established Member
Premium Member
Single Barrel Sirs
Joined
Nov 17, 2002
Messages
105,354
Location
Cheshire, CT
@SolarYellow, here's something personal to hopefully give you a proper perspective.

A few years ago, my son-in-law was diagnosed with Creutzfeldt-Jakobs disease. The brain literally eats itself and death comes within months. He was an active body builder (worked out every day in the gym), had his own very successful business, and a wonderful family (3 loving daughters and a VERY devoted and loving wife). As his brain deteriorated, it became difficult to take him places because his behavior was often erratic and strange. I remember one time we went to a local restaurant and I had printed cards for my daughter that she could give to, say, a waitress which explained his disease and behaviors. That particular day, he was especially erratic. The waitress was very understanding and we all tried to help Nigel as much as we could. Deep down, I remember wondering if he was having glimpses of understanding that he was in a battle for his life, and fighting as hard as he could to defeat it, feeling at times helpless. After all, he was a true fighter all his life. Long story short, as difficult a day as it was, we ALL had a wonderful time with him, and I'll cherish the day forever. I'd give anything to experience it again, if he was still alive. About 3 months later, we lost him to the disease. During those last 3 months, we all got to see his increasingly bizarre behavior, share in his struggle against death, encourage him, love him, care for him, cry with him, and, yes, laugh with him. Moments that none of us will ever forget. I'm sure others who saw him in public at times experienced inner anger or frustration because his battle was an inconvenience to them at the time. We, on the other hand, experienced some of the most wonderful days/times of loving a family member who had absolutely no control over his behavior, speech and actions. Sometimes to really understand another family's hardship you have to walk a mile, or a block, in their shoes. That's when the frustration lifts and grace and love abounds.
 

MG0h3

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2014
Messages
13,685
Location
El Paso, TX
Op, it’s because of people like you that us folks with disabled kids are hesitant to take them out.

FYI, it’s not uncommon for handicapped kids be be fed a liquid diet via a tube in their stomach. Then tend to have a lot of GI problems. The vomit is just as you described. Thick and smells horrible.

Imagine what the child goes through. Then imagine what the parents go through.

Hopefully you can learn from the feedback you’re getting here, because you should be ashamed of yourself.

And no, not because of the retard comment. In a literal sense, it’s entirely accurate.


Sent from my iPhone using svtperformance.com
 

quad

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2004
Messages
8,073
Location
Detroit
How would you like it if you had a special needs child and a friend of yours called your child a retard? Why don’t you go down the rabbit hole so I can fill it up with your bullshit so you shut the **** up!


Sent from my iPhone using svtperformance.com
677499.png
 

SolarYellow

Sensei
Established Member
Premium Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2005
Messages
9,585
Location
Scranton, PA
No offense, but it sounds like you're being a bit of an asshole, and don't understand some of the hardships others have to go through.... just an observation.

Big time asshole unless, of course, taking your child out to eat (or out anywhere) after having emergency surgery Wednesday night is sensible.

I bet your friends would really appreciate reading this thread that you posted for several to read. You must not really like your friends much.

Sounds like your friends thought you were much more of a friend than what you really are and you wouldn’t care that they brought their kid and father in law along. I guess you should let them know you have your limits when going out with them. Set your guidelines and requirements for them to hang out with you next time so your night isn’t ruined again.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

NO, I really don't. Now that you mention it, I guess they are only "friends" through marriage rather than an actual friendship derived from childhood or such. These people are the kind who believe everyone thinks their kid is cute and regardless of the environment the kid should always be there. Limits and boundaries are lacking. You know those types? The kid was clearly ill yet they felt they must be out and about. Irresponsible comes to mind. Exposed stapled wound on the head, was seriously ill for a week before the MD was called, lost at least 20lbs in the past week, etc..., yet lets bring the kid out?

OP throws down harsh thread. I've been told I'm harsh.
I would've kept this experience to myself.
Exposing as this, is more harsh than myself can muster..

Much appreciated. No joking.

@SolarYellow, here's something personal to hopefully give you a proper perspective.

Your story exemplifies someone who tried being as responsible and proactive as possible but unfortunately not every parent shares your strategy. Something tells me you address rather than ignore limitations.
 
Last edited:

VegasMichael

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
May 31, 2010
Messages
6,396
Location
Empire State
I was a kid in Rochester when Arthur Shawcross was active. I wouldn't have dinner with someone who looked like him. Aside from that, I'm wondering why the vomit wasn't tended to since it's widely considered to be a biohazard. Personally, I would have left the table after that.
 

FJohnny

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
May 17, 2018
Messages
2,227
Location
AB, Canada
If what he ordered for dinner in any way resembled the puke it would be upsetting. Does anyone know what he had?

Some seafood alfredo dishes can look quite unfortunate.
 

SVTdreamin04

What's a "Termi"???
Established Member
Premium Member
Joined
Sep 20, 2015
Messages
2,536
Location
America
I see what you’re saying about the parents taking their child out under the conditions the child was in. That does seem too soon to go out.

The more you post, the more I see what you’re saying. Your first post just made you sound like someone who was rattled because your dinner was ruined.

I have two kids and we have always told others when going out if we were bringing our kids, and if that was an issue, we weren’t going to go out with them at that time.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

SolarYellow

Sensei
Established Member
Premium Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2005
Messages
9,585
Location
Scranton, PA
I see what you’re saying about the parents taking their child out under the conditions the child was in. That does seem too soon to go out.

The more you post, the more I see what you’re saying. Your first post just made you sound like someone who was rattled because your dinner was ruined.

I have two kids and we have always told others when going out if we were bringing our kids, and if that was an issue, we weren’t going to go out with them at that time.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

One who knowingly and willingly brings a sick and recovering child out to eat because mom and dad are hell bent on getting out shows carelessness, irresponsibility, selfishness and a general lack of concern for everyone. IMO much is exhibited when the parents continue to eat even though the ill child asks multiple times to go home, do not excuse themselves and take the child to the bathroom to clean the kid up, act shocked when other patrons get up and leave, etc.., Far too many parents are in their own fantasy realm and unfortunately it isn't about you (the parents I mean). The social commentary is accurate.
 

SVTdreamin04

What's a "Termi"???
Established Member
Premium Member
Joined
Sep 20, 2015
Messages
2,536
Location
America
One who knowingly and willingly brings a sick and recovering child out to eat because mom and dad are hell bent on getting out shows carelessness, irresponsibility, selfishness and a general lack of concern for everyone. IMO much is exhibited when the parents continue to eat even though the ill child asks multiple times to go home, do not excuse themselves and take the child to the bathroom to clean the kid up, act shocked when other patrons get up and leave, etc.., Far too many parents are in their own fantasy realm and unfortunately it isn't about you (the parents I mean). The social commentary is accurate.

100% agree.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

ToddW702

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2014
Messages
654
Location
TX
I think you have mis-read this crowd. We often bash bad behavior with relentless irony and down right savage. But I haven’t seen people on here lashing out at circumstances that are out of their control. I would have just wrote this off as a learning experience. I also understand parents have some responsibility when it comes to things like this. This can be a tough crowd but it is a good, in fact great one that can help correct the courses of assholes and dip shits alike. Not calling you either of those names, I reserve name calling for when I refer to myself.


Sent from my iPhone using svtperformance.com
 

My94GT

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Jun 7, 2007
Messages
8,685
Location
woodbine, MD
How would you like it if you had a special needs child and a friend of yours called your child a retard? Why don’t you go down the rabbit hole so I can fill it up with your bullshit so you shut the **** up!


Sent from my iPhone using svtperformance.com

this is a highly opinionated topic but my younger sister who passed away was special needs.....I have zero problem with the term retarded used correctly and not in a derogatory manor. To each their own.

that said the OP sounds like a douche. If that the worst part of any given bad day you have consider yourself lucky. I feel for your friends, to keep people around like you shows just how good they are.
 

utlong31

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2017
Messages
496
@SolarYellow, here's something personal to hopefully give you a proper perspective.

A few years ago, my son-in-law was diagnosed with Creutzfeldt-Jakobs disease. The brain literally eats itself and death comes within months. He was an active body builder (worked out every day in the gym), had his own very successful business, and a wonderful family (3 loving daughters and a VERY devoted and loving wife). As his brain deteriorated, it became difficult to take him places because his behavior was often erratic and strange. I remember one time we went to a local restaurant and I had printed cards for my daughter that she could give to, say, a waitress which explained his disease and behaviors. That particular day, he was especially erratic. The waitress was very understanding and we all tried to help Nigel as much as we could. Deep down, I remember wondering if he was having glimpses of understanding that he was in a battle for his life, and fighting as hard as he could to defeat it, feeling at times helpless. After all, he was a true fighter all his life. Long story short, as difficult a day as it was, we ALL had a wonderful time with him, and I'll cherish the day forever. I'd give anything to experience it again, if he was still alive. About 3 months later, we lost him to the disease. During those last 3 months, we all got to see his increasingly bizarre behavior, share in his struggle against death, encourage him, love him, care for him, cry with him, and, yes, laugh with him. Moments that none of us will ever forget. I'm sure others who saw him in public at times experienced inner anger or frustration because his battle was an inconvenience to them at the time. We, on the other hand, experienced some of the most wonderful days/times of loving a family member who had absolutely no control over his behavior, speech and actions. Sometimes to really understand another family's hardship you have to walk a mile, or a block, in their shoes. That's when the frustration lifts and grace and love abounds.

Wow I read this early this morning and haven’t stopped thinking about it. Made me step back and thank about all the blessings I have. Thanks for sharing I couldn’t imagine going through something like this.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

MG0h3

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2014
Messages
13,685
Location
El Paso, TX
One who knowingly and willingly brings a sick and recovering child out to eat because mom and dad are hell bent on getting out shows carelessness, irresponsibility, selfishness and a general lack of concern for everyone. IMO much is exhibited when the parents continue to eat even though the ill child asks multiple times to go home, do not excuse themselves and take the child to the bathroom to clean the kid up, act shocked when other patrons get up and leave, etc.., Far too many parents are in their own fantasy realm and unfortunately it isn't about you (the parents I mean). The social commentary is accurate.

Lots of new details now that paint your friends in a poor light. I question how accurate they are since none of this was in the original crybaby post.

Regardless, you should just shut the **** up because if you don’t have a disabled child, you have ZERO idea what it’s like.

FYI, disabled kids are basically always “sick”. If you stayed home because they might vomit, kid would probably never leave the house.

I find it funny that you say they are living in a fantasy. What the **** do you know? Try living in a ****ing nightmare that never stops. Even worse, these parents are helpless to save the kid.


“BLM is doing God’s work”
2KblackGT

svtperformance.com mobile app
 

SolarYellow

Sensei
Established Member
Premium Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2005
Messages
9,585
Location
Scranton, PA
Lots of new details now that paint your friends in a poor light. I question how accurate they are since none of this was in the original crybaby post.

Regardless, you should just shut the **** up because if you don’t have a disabled child, you have ZERO idea what it’s like.

FYI, disabled kids are basically always “sick”. If you stayed home because they might vomit, kid would probably never leave the house.

I find it funny that you say they are living in a fantasy. What the **** do you know? Try living in a ****ing nightmare that never stops. Even worse, these parents are helpless to save the kid.


“BLM is doing God’s work”
2KblackGT

svtperformance.com mobile app

Your problems aren't MY problems but somehow you seem to think otherwise.
 

SVTdreamin04

What's a "Termi"???
Established Member
Premium Member
Joined
Sep 20, 2015
Messages
2,536
Location
America
We don’t know OP’s back story, or at least most of us don’t. Maybe he has never experienced one bad thing in his life and this is why he reacted like he did, or maybe it’s the opposite and he’s hiding years of abuse or something who knows. Maybe he is just a jerk and doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

No one knows why people react the way that they do, but everyone’s different and we can’t change that. We can only do what we think is right for ourselves and move on.

My interactions with @SolarYellow have never been negative and I wouldn’t treat him any different if I met the dude in public. I would be a bit Leary about asking him to go to dinner with the fam though. Lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

SolarYellow

Sensei
Established Member
Premium Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2005
Messages
9,585
Location
Scranton, PA
Not sure what you mean here. Care to elaborate?

From what I can tell, you don’t have any problems, hence your inability to sympathize or understand someone else’s hardships.


“BLM is doing God’s work”
2KblackGT

svtperformance.com mobile app

Sure. Unless I somehow ask to take on your adversity, it is yours and yours alone and although that might sound terribly blunt, it is true. Showing sympathy and understanding doesn't make it any less true either. Reality is reality. Having a child with extreme issues means your life will not be as normal as you want and it also means you can't do whatever you want, whenever you want and however you want. Far too many parents seem to place their individual wants ahead of all else. The desire of going to a restaurant should be far outweighed by the welfare of your child and to a lesser extent the consideration of others should be pertinent as well.
 

Steve@TF

Authorized Vendor
Authorized Vendor
Premium Member
Joined
Feb 24, 2006
Messages
19,702
Location
So Cal
Big time asshole unless, of course, taking your child out to eat (or out anywhere) after having emergency surgery Wednesday night is sensible.



NO, I really don't. Now that you mention it, I guess they are only "friends" through marriage rather than an actual friendship derived from childhood or such. These people are the kind who believe everyone thinks their kid is cute and regardless of the environment the kid should always be there. Limits and boundaries are lacking. You know those types? The kid was clearly ill yet they felt they must be out and about. Irresponsible comes to mind. Exposed stapled wound on the head, was seriously ill for a week before the MD was called, lost at least 20lbs in the past week, etc..., yet lets bring the kid out?



Much appreciated. No joking.



Your story exemplifies someone who tried being as responsible and proactive as possible but unfortunately not every parent shares your strategy. Something tells me you address rather than ignore limitations.

I was thinking that this is probably what you meant but i think you didnt communicate it effectively. I understand what you meant.

As MG said, some disabled kids are always sick. Vomit and runny noses are everyday life. Perhaps this is the norm for them. Or perhaps the kid not feeling good from the surgery. None of us know.
Sounds like a fairly serious surgery and the kid should be at home resting but i dont know.

Saying someone is retarded is the old school verbiage. I was telling my wife that my mom worked at an elementary school in the 80s that was called “West Valley Trainable Mentally Retarded” lol. In the 90s they changed the name to “West Valley Special Education Center”. She was flabbergasted at the name but that was tbe norm back then. Just like how they used to call autistic people idiots. They even had “schools for idiots”. The Rain Man types were “idiot savants”.

Nowadays the proper way (PC) to say it would be to say they have mental retardation. The person has the disabilty, they are not the disability. ie the person has autism, they are not autistic (though people still commonly say it). Im not a PC gung ho person, just fyi. Of course calling someone a “retard” is a whole different ballgame. Id call a friend a retard but not an actual disabled person. Saying the person is retarded is not the same as saying “he’s a retard”. Its not PC but its not derogatory. Calling someone “a retard” is poor form and crass if referring to a disabled person.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Users who are viewing this thread



Top