Help Dealing with Ex.

RedVenom48

Let's go Brandon!
Established Member
Joined
Sep 29, 2014
Messages
7,973
Location
Arizona
Dude is definitely on a revenge slant.

My mother was merciless to my father... ****ed him over financially during the divorce... and she literally was the crazy one. Sometimes, ex's with do what they can just out of spite. New relationships dont matter, some people will always see the ex as an enemy even if it was THEIR fault.

Stay the course, document all as recommended. Dont expect financial reimbursement but keep tabs of every penny.

It sounds like your wife is a wonderful person, mother and spouse. Stand strong with her and this will make your bond together that much stronger.

Dont be afraid to shank a beta bitch soy boy if you need to. Ok, dont literally shank him, but be ready to stand up for whats right and YOUR (you and wife's) rights.

Be ready to drive at a moments notice to get those kids to a safe place if it comes to it. 3am, with Tornado's touching down, you get there and get them if it needs to happen.

Never lie to the kids. Always, always, ALWAYS tell them the truth if they ask. Somethings dont need to be offered and dont talk shit about the ex in front of them. But if they ask, be honest.
 

MG0h3

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2014
Messages
13,683
Location
El Paso, TX
I don’t see anything that would even remotely come close to getting full custody (someone else mentioned it). Even with her being female, at MOST you might get custody and him have standard visitation (every other weekend and Thursdays this deal).

Attorneys will just take your money. Not much more.


Sent from my iPhone using svtperformance.com
 

7998

Don't Care
Established Member
Malt Liquor Mafia
Joined
Mar 12, 2008
Messages
3,766
Location
PA
Let me first say, You'll both get through this and all this BS ends. Half of the stuff you posted is minor in the long run. As frustrating as it is you have to let some things go for both of your's sanity. Remember, there is a reason they aren't together anymore. The rest of it your wife is doing the right thing by going through the mediators. Some things just can't be reasoned out.
Trust me I fought for custody of my son and won after a 3 years and a Corvette's worth of lawyer bills. There was times when a wood chipper and the pine barrens were a reasonable solution. And my wife had two kids before me, one day when her ex pulled up and beeped the horn (Final straw) I went there and he quickly locked the doors as I pounded on the window for him to come out. Looking back 13 years I'm glad he didn't come out. I'm not sure I would've had much control at that moment.
It is very trying and I'm sad to hear you going through it but sit back, take a breath, and play chess, not dodge ball. It's a long game.
Her ex is a miserable little lonely man all by himself now that their kids are grown, and my ex married had 2 kids, the father left and she lives at home with her mom. And well me and my wife own a nice house, I just bought a VMP Gen3R for my toy, Just bought a 2019 Platinum, going on a 2 week vacation, and we love eachother to death. Living better is the best revenge.
 

CompOrange04GT

Anyone have a strap on my girl can use on me?
Established Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2011
Messages
8,563
Location
Texas
My exes baby daddy is a detective..

And knows his way around the law, and I can tell you... this is a ****ing bitch dealing with this piece of shit mother ****er
 

ON D BIT

Finish First
Established Member
Joined
Jul 7, 2003
Messages
16,212
Location
Currently in Sonoma County
1. Get out of the sharing the cost ASAP. If he buys something he pays if you two buy something you pay.

2. He won’t allow anything other than what he’s already agreed two, it’s time for you two to do the same. No more given up days trying to be nice because he damn won’t do the same.

3. Record document everything. If it does end up back in legal you need to show the court your the ones playing correctly and he’s skimming every time.

4. If you want to hit him with legal right after he gets married is a great time to choose....

Good luck.
 

13COBRA

Resident Ford Dealer
Established Member
Premium Member
Single Barrel Sirs
Joined
Jun 4, 2012
Messages
22,317
Location
Missouri
I don’t see anything that would even remotely come close to getting full custody (someone else mentioned it). Even with her being female, at MOST you might get custody and him have standard visitation (every other weekend and Thursdays this deal).

Attorneys will just take your money. Not much more.


Sent from my iPhone using svtperformance.com
Right, I don't see that as a possibility, yet.

Sent from my potato using Tapatalk
 

kirks5oh

kirks5oh
Established Member
Joined
Nov 23, 2004
Messages
7,437
Location
wi
Assume full financial responsibility for the children and take money out of the equation.

Expect him to disappoint and you will never be disappointed.

Love those kids like they were your own flesh and blood.

If he ****s any of you, explain what you expect out of him, man to man.

If he persists, report him to the police early and often.

If he escalates, tune his ass up and leave him on the ground, bleeding.

BTW, I’m a step parent and did all of they above.

All of this, except for the physical stuff. At a certain point you (original poster) have to smack him down financially, and hopefully shit will settle down. Use all the documented offenses and go to court—make him pay your lawyer fees. Unfortunately, nothing you’ve commented on even remotely hits the radar for today’s family court system. It’s simply broken.

Been divorced 5 years, and have 50/50 custody. $11k/month child support for 3 kids and she still won’t pay for things. Does just about everything you’ve mentioned above and thensome.

Been remarried for over 2 years and my wife puts up with a healthy amount of drama from my exes household despite my attempts to avoid it. You need to continue to support your ex and realize the drama is not likely to go away completely

Thankfully for you, those kids are only a couple years away from sorting through his bullshit and calling him on it.
 

quad

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2004
Messages
8,073
Location
Detroit
OP - this is your solution.

I hope the FBI is not watching this thread...

3652860950_1f5fc7e2bd_b.jpg
 

quad

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2004
Messages
8,073
Location
Detroit
For premeditated killings, it’s best to dig a hole in advance ’cause of the time it takes to get deep enough: about five or six feet. We ain’t talkin about no little sandpit here.
You and I think alike! You need to plan ahead. Go buy plastic bags 5 years in advance in cash under disguise! Dig a few holes for fun in case you may need them years from now.
 

CV355

_
Established Member
Joined
Aug 24, 2016
Messages
3,272
Location
_
The best advice I can give is to document everything. Seems like you are already doing that, which is smart. Pursue full custody and get this jerk out of their lives. Denying handing over an EpiPen? That's screwed up.
 

7upstang

Active Member
Established Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2012
Messages
291
Location
Fort Myers, FL
Read this last night and realized my mother did this same crap to my father. Both were good parents and wanted the best for us, but my mom hated my dad. Really struck a nerve with me the way my mom twisted things when I was younger.

Anyways, other than all the BS do you believe he is a good father?

If not, you might want to set the kids down and just ask them what they want. Kids are honest and they know what they want.
 

IronSnake

Beers for the boys
Established Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2006
Messages
4,337
Location
South Carolina
He hates her - Clear as day
He hates you - He probably feels inferior due to wealth, physical size, the fact she chose you over him, etc.
He hates you more - Probably because both kids like you and talk about you - Wifes crazy sisters little girl fell in love with me at 2 yr old and has never stopped. I am her guy, and it made her mothers blood boil (she's a single mom and bitter she has no man). She's chilled out the last few years though .
He hates her - Because her baby is not by his man parts. Men are territorial and I think that's him feeling like he "owns" her as awful as that sounds.

Dude sounds bitter, angry, and all around like he's a miserable ass. I would document everything very well, and then for the benefit of the kids, go after him legally. At that point I know it would be hard on the kids, but a 12 month legal battle is a lot less hard on children than a lifetime of their blood father trying to manipulate them against their own mother. That's really messed up.
 

hotcobra03

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2007
Messages
7,461
Location
poteet,texas
Good luck.

I had a bad divorce and can relate

Don’t take this the wrong way.

Both parties are at fault. The fights are what he wants. You are feeding into it.

Best suggestion is to just turn and walk away.

Take wife and kids and just move far away.
 

CompOrange04GT

Anyone have a strap on my girl can use on me?
Established Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2011
Messages
8,563
Location
Texas
It just sucks what exes can do...

Like I said in other thread.. this loser of an ex ( mind you they’ve been divorced like 9 years ) literally will sit at work ... and wait for the GPS to move now that we are in AZ for the week.

Like yesterday.. he saw it move. And then showed up to Barnes and Noble. And TOLD his daughters to wait for him.

He then proceeded to question her clothing, every scratch on her.. even told her the scratches “ couldn’t “ have been from our new puppy.

Like you, also, when it’s his time.... the communication is non existent with the girls.. but when it’s her time.. he will literally call 15 times in a row until she picks up her phone. He will like I said watch a GPS 24/7 and ask “ why are you at sonic “ .. etc

It’s garbage the games adults play due to kids and their insecurity.
 

black4vcobra

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Premium Member
Party Liquor Posse
Joined
Feb 22, 2009
Messages
4,460
Location
Cottage Grove, WI
Go back in time and meet her before she has kids with the douche?

In all seriousness, sorry to hear you and your wife are going through this and as others have mentioned, these are standard games played by scorned exes.

It is one of the primary reasons I simply refused to date women with kids. I would never be #1 to them and no matter how good the sex may be, the drama was not worth it when there were still childless women around.
 

black4vcobra

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Premium Member
Party Liquor Posse
Joined
Feb 22, 2009
Messages
4,460
Location
Cottage Grove, WI
It just sucks what exes can do...

Like I said in other thread.. this loser of an ex ( mind you they’ve been divorced like 9 years ) literally will sit at work ... and wait for the GPS to move now that we are in AZ for the week.

Like yesterday.. he saw it move. And then showed up to Barnes and Noble. And TOLD his daughters to wait for him.

He then proceeded to question her clothing, every scratch on her.. even told her the scratches “ couldn’t “ have been from our new puppy.

Like you, also, when it’s his time.... the communication is non existent with the girls.. but when it’s her time.. he will literally call 15 times in a row until she picks up her phone. He will like I said watch a GPS 24/7 and ask “ why are you at sonic “ .. etc

It’s garbage the games adults play due to kids and their insecurity.

So they all agreed to have location sharing on their phone? Don't tell me that family court ordered that each parent can track their children via GPS...
 

Rare40th

Well-Known Member
Established Member
Joined
Nov 5, 2012
Messages
581
Location
Brighton, CO
@13COBRA Lol man I didn't even have to read the full thread to already know what you're dealing with. Same situation in a way here with the gf's ex over their 3 yr old. For instance we enrolled him in preschool, she has control of custody so it was her choice and made it clear to him and he was content with it. He's been going to this preschool for 7 months, 3 days a week. Last visit which was his first during the week do you think he got him to school? Nope didn't even take him. This week he took him Tuesday, Wednesday he proceeds to tell her that "preschool isn't formal education, only an extracurricular activity" and that it's intervening on his parenting time..... And he's the same way, when it comes to his time/communication/skype calls he's adamant that its his way or the highway. Sad part is even dealing through talking parents app he still becomes vulgar and acts like it's okay.

Honestly I never thought about trying to be a step dad. Honestly though she is worth it and he's the coolest/smartest kid I know. But it's certainly a reality check that there are some serious cases of mental issues out there
 

ZEN357

Active Member
Established Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2018
Messages
382
Location
Pittsburgh, PA
Disclaimer: Long Read.

Cliff notes: My wife's ex husband is a self-serving, arrogant, smug, sociopath and is constantly making our life challenging.


I don't really know what advice I actually expect, as this isn't the best place to ask, but my wife has more or less asked me to not be extremely vocal about it, so hey, a car forum it is!

First off, OP is a ******.

My wife was married to this guy for 7 years, they had two kids together. He didn't treat her well, and she was more or less guilted in to making it work for the kids. Once she realized it didn't have to be like that, she got out.

Their divorce has been final almost 2 years. She rushed through it because she was tired of dealing with him, so she didn't go after his money (he doesn't have any), his time with the kids (they're 50/50) nor anything else. Now, it's starting to bite us in the ass.

He's constantly making decisions that are clearly not in the best interest of the kids. A few examples:

1.) Yesterday, the 5 year old had his allergy shot appointment to go to. The last appointment he was with his dad so we gave him his EpiPen to take with him as the doctor requires it in case of a reaction. My wife reached out to him (6 hours in advance, we live 10 minutes apart) that she would need to get the EpiPen back before taking him in for his shot. If he misses an appointment by more than a day or two, he has to start back over at square one, which is 9 months ago. Her ex said no, and that she could go buy another one. Well, the $100 or whatever isn't a big deal as I've pissed away more money than that without blinking, but it's prescription based and cannot just be purchased at a drug store. Luckily, my wife's mother had an extra that she had bought the LAST TIME he refused to give it back.

2.) Her ex constantly tries to put the 5 and 7 year old in to a position where it is them against my wife. For example, in their parenting agreement they have to both agree if the kids are to be taken outside of the country. Well unbeknownst to us, they had planned a trip last October to take the kids to Jamaica 3 weeks ago. I'll preface that by we want the kids to have awesome experiences whether they're with us or their dad. He contacted my wife less than a month before the trip and told her of the plans, and that two of the days were 'our' days with the kids. So in a matter of a week she needed to agree for them to leave the country, go with them to get passports, and also be ok with switching a couple of days. She did, within 48 hours, and they had a great time. Fastforward, my wife's best friend is taking her kids to NYC in August, so my wife is planning on taking the kids as well. Just so happens that 1 of the days is 'his' day. So she's been asking for almost 2 weeks now if he will switch the one day, he's flat out ignored her every single time.

3.) They're agreement is to pay for 50% of the kids things. Any time we buy the kids things that are required by either teachers, clubs, sporting teams, etc, it's a fight to get him to pay for any of it...if we ever get it at all. Again, the money isn't a big deal. But, the first time he goes to buy $50 worth of school supplies, he sends screenshots of receipts repetitively (every 3-5 minutes) until we PayPal him the $25.

4.) When we all have to be in the same places (soccer, tee ball games, dance competitions, etc) if the kids are with my wife and I, him and his family are always around. If the kids are with him, they literally sneak in late, and leave early as to avoid letting my wife talk to the kids.

5.) Both the 5 and the 7 year old have told us on countless times that they have tried sneaking out of their bedroom windows and walking to our house in the middle of the night. We brought it up to her ex, he insisted that we were making something of nothing and that we were pushing the kids to say that.

6.) The 5 year old said he didn't want to play soccer, because his friends weren't playing this year and he would rather swim and hangout with them. His dad, being the local high school soccer coach, made him Facetime my wife while it was his day and have the 5 year old tell her that he wanted to play...AFTER 3 days of her ex explaining to us that a "4 year old" (he's actually 5, but his dad said 4 almost two dozen times) doesn't know what he wants to do and that his opinion doesn't count...until he's saying he wants to play.

7.) Her ex flat out refuses to have any kind of joint birthday parties for either of the kids. I'm not upset about this, as I don't like being around him, but the kids both have asked separately on two different birthdays because they like having all their grandparents there.

8.) He is always 15-20 minutes early picking them up, and 15-20 minutes late dropping them off or having them ready to be picked up. Every single time. Last week, we were picking them up at 9am, he answers the door at 8:58am and said "she (7 year old) is still in the shower, *looking at watch* she'll be done and down here in 2 minutes..." *shuts door in my wife's face*... 20 minutes later they both came out the front door and the 7 year old was asking her dad why she had to jump in the shower. (I had to laugh at this. I think they all overslept, and he thought it would be a good excuse if she was in the shower).

9.) My wife and I just had a newborn baby 2 months ago. Her ex has told both the kids, numerous times, that he is not their brother and they shouldn't call him their brother, and only by his first name. This part pisses me off beyond belief.

10.) My familiy's lake house is in the same cove as his girlfriend's parents house, so any time we are at the lake he always ends up down there at the same time, and then #4 applies again. They've swam over to near our dock to say hi when the kids are here, and when the kids are with them we will be going out in the boat and when we're a few hundred yards out they will purposefully round up all the kids and go up in the house so we can't even wave at them.

11.) On February 11th my wife asked him to go to a mediation together, and he more or less said they didn't need mediation. A week later, she had her attorney draft a letter to his requesting mediation, he agreed to go. A week after that, the mediator's office called my wife and said he had cancelled the appointment. 3 hours after that, my wife confronted him and he acted as if he had no idea that they had ever spoken about mediation, even after she sent him 5 screenshots of the conversation.


Obviously my first reaction as a man with a set of balls, is to kick his ass. But in reality, that wouldn't do anyone any good, as it would probably end in some bullshit restraining order. Right now I'm stuck between being an ass or just being overly nice. I'm not very good with the latter when people have treated my family as poorly as he has, but I'd be willing to do so if I thought it would make my wife's life easier.

Has anyone experienced anything remotely close to this? How do you get through it?

My Wife and I were in the same situation. I married her when her son was 10 years old and we lived through a lot of what you are dealing with now. My wife's ex-husband married a royal B1t@h and she treated my step-son like crap for the last 9 years. The best thing I can tell you is expect to pay for everything 100% when the kids are with you and keep all receipts so when the ex says "hey, pay 50% of this bill" you can throw all the stuff you payed for 100% back in his face and then refuse to pay the bills he has when the children are with him or just ignore him. Also when you know the kids are going to spend time with him always sit and think about what situations may come up and how he will react and what he will do, then you can plan accordingly. Always try to foresee how he will act and what he is going to do. It's more or less a chess game where you try to figure out what your opponent will do next before he does it. Never say anything bad about him in front of the children, they will eventually figure it out on their own. If you do that only makes you look bad especially if you have to go back to court and the judge decides to question the children in private which does happen sometimes. I'm not going to lie to you it's a long hard road. My stepson hates his stepmother and his dad. When he realized all this he would tell his friends that I was his Father and not his Father was not his real Father. He turned 18 last year and refuses to visit his Father because of his Step-Mother. He has basically told his Father that if he wants a relationship with him he has to divorce his Step-Mother. His Dad will call and sometimes he will answer the phone and other times he just doesn't want to hear the bull crap. You also may want to talk to a good attorney and see about taking him back to court but don't do something that will make matter worse. We took he ex to court because he threatened my wife. Her ex got a piece of junk mail at their house addressed to my wife and sent a nasty email saying he checked with the post office and that he could have her arrested for that so I told him to call the FBI, CIA, NSA, Secret Service, Sheriff and the local police, because they all were gonna laugh at him. Then since I had a friend who was a lawyer and practiced family law and had been taking care of the I.T. related stuff in her office for years and she told me if I ever needed a lawyer she would work for free for me as a trade, we took the ex back to court for child support. We won and he paid us around $600 per month that was taken out of his paycheck before he even got paid. :) He sent us a nasty email after the court hearing and I politely told him that his mouth and his threats got him into that situation. He stopped his bull crap after that but my step-son's step-mother tortured him mentally and emotionally for 9 years. It cost his Father his relationship with his son. Hope some of this helps. He's a good kid and is going to college in the fall. I don't have any children of my own and never will so I have raised him just like my Father raised me.
 
Last edited:

Users who are viewing this thread



Top