NWS Pics that make you :lol: every time you see them NWS

mosconiac

Active Member
Established Member
Joined
Jul 2, 2002
Messages
2,937
Location
Eastern Iowa
985xDXE.png


wfLk6JY.png


nBsoJuY.gif


UIUHOlJ.gif


tumblr_nhf3qucCeu1ru8tgjo1_250.gif


fgZkEbJ.gif
 

svtfocus2cobra

Opprimere, Velocitas, Violentia Operandi
Established Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2004
Messages
26,222
Location
Washington
I seriously hope that was an attempt at trolling or something like that.

I have an account on that site. Trust me, it's become more for entertainment then for finding anything serious which I knew before going in there. I actually looked at a smoking hot girl's profile the other day, and I'm talking a 10/10. I didn't even bother hitting her up because one, her bio was probably 3 pages long and it was nothing but demands. Then two, she literally said the guys she dates can't have any friends and that she is incredibly needy and bitchy and that's something they'll have to deal with. She also admitted to stabbing her ex's brother with a fork because he made her mad once. There's crazy bitches all over that site.
 

DHG1078

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Established Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
9,368
Location
So Cal
I have an account on that site. Trust me, it's become more for entertainment then for finding anything serious which I knew before going in there. I actually looked at a smoking hot girl's profile the other day, and I'm talking a 10/10. I didn't even bother hitting her up because one, her bio was probably 3 pages long and it was nothing but demands. Then two, she literally said the guys she dates can't have any friends and that she is incredibly needy and bitchy and that's something they'll have to deal with. She also admitted to stabbing her ex's brother with a fork because he made her mad once. There's crazy bitches all over that site.

The adage "hit it and quit it" comes to mind here lol. Although this is SVTP and everyone's significant other is a 12/10
 

svtfocus2cobra

Opprimere, Velocitas, Violentia Operandi
Established Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2004
Messages
26,222
Location
Washington
The adage "hit it and quit it" comes to mind here lol. Although this is SVTP and everyone's significant other is a 12/10

I'll try to find it and post it. I feel if you tried that you'd still come out with some emotional scarring lol.
 
Last edited:

svtfocus2cobra

Opprimere, Velocitas, Violentia Operandi
Established Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2004
Messages
26,222
Location
Washington
Screenshot_2015-01-05-19-40-52_zpsgymi2wmg.png

Screenshot_2015-01-05-19-41-32_zpspf9xz5dn.png


Prepare for crazy in...

3...

2...

1...

"My self-summary
I'm currently working a pretty difficult schedule - As of now I've been working from 10pm to about 6am. This could be problematic to some people, and I know it's going to make it difficult to get to know someone, but I have to try.

Oh and one more pre-intro thing. I don't message guys on here. At all. I know plenty of guys wish women would, and some do, but I'm not one of them. Truthfully I get an ample amount of inbox messages as it is so I have no reason to go out of my way to message someone I'm interested in. If you're interested in me, you will have to message me. Just a heads up so you don't visit my profile and have interest in me but are waiting for me to message you first. If I don't respond then I'm not interested. I have no reason to waste my time responding to messages from guys I have no interest in.

Oh hi there. I'm Brittney. So I've been on this website for years now, and I've gotten a ridiculous amount of shit for how I had my profile previously. If you know who I am, you'll be happy to see that I'm now re-writing it. If you haven't seen my profile before, that's probably a good thing. I finally decided it portrayed me in a terrible way. Now I fully expect this updated profile will probably still make me look bad to most guys, but at least it will be more accurate and honest.

My expectations on here are probably too high. So I try to just keep an open mind when browsing guys on here. I have accepted that most of the people interested in me are not people that I would be interested in. That probably goes for most people but especially for me because the people that I may attract probably aren't the people I want. I'll try to be as specific as I can when I describe what kind of man I'm looking for. Right now I'm pretty much just looking for someone who just wants to get to know each other. I don't know how serious I want it to be. I'm on here to find the man that I'll be spending the rest of my life with. But at the same time, I'm trying to be hesitant when it comes to men. I'm the girl that is NEVER single. I don't need a man, I just really want one. And I don't feel complete without that significant other in my life. I feel like I jump into things too often. Sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes it's not. But ultimately I definitely am looking for something serious on here. And because this is a dating website, I'm open to guys who are not local. I mean as long as you're at least in the United States. I don't want to limit my search for my partner to just my area, though it would be much more convenient.

I'm not a serial dater. Like I said, I'm more the type who just jumps into relationships. Either I like you or I don't. If I like you I see no reason not to be serious about a relationship. I'm not looking for a guy who wants to just casually date, or hook up. In fact the thought of dating a virgin kind of intrigues me. Random. But yeah, so don't think you can message me and ask me to go meet you for coffee or something and think it's going to happen. There's a reason I'm on here and not out somewhere looking for a man. I don't like getting to know guys that way. And I don't want a man that likes traditional casual dating. I have met a few guys from here. Some have resulted in long term dating, some have resulted in friendship. Some have resulted in forks getting stabbed into their brother's arms. True story. Unfortunately at the end of the day here I am, single, and still looking for that special man. I have no regrets about anyone I have dated from here, or in general. It just wasn't meant to be.

As you're reading my profile you'll probably notice that I talk about a lot of negative things, whether it be what I don't like, or what others wouldn't like about me. Don't take it the wrong way. I'm not a negative person. I just believe in getting the negatives about people (including myself) out of the way, so that we can then digest it all and decide whether or not we can advance with learning the positives about each other. I want to know everything bad about you so I can know if it can be looked past or not. I don't want to fall in love with you to then be hit with a blow that I cannot get past. It has happened before and I don't think anyone wants to have to deal with that. I wouldn't want you to get to know me because I make myself sound so awesome and you like me for that but then I talk about my negatives and you realize I'm a huge bitch. Let's not waste our time or hearts. Maybe that sounds silly to some, but I truly believe that is a much better way of getting to know someone - especially when meeting with someone on a dating website. There are a lot of advantages to dating this way. Let's make use of them.

I understand this is going to be long so if you want you can jump to the bottom of my profile to the "message me" section if you want to get to the point. I'd greatly appreciate it if you read my entire profile before messaging me though. I want you to know who I am before you express interest in me, and vice versa.

So let me just get some things out of the way. If you:

• have a lot going on in your life (always busy)
• excessively drink
• smoke
• have many friends (or even acquaintances)
• enjoy partying/going out/nightlife
• have children
• are a religious nutjob
• haven't answered at LEAST a couple hundred questions on here
• consider yourself 'outgoing,' 'social' or 'extraverted'
• have an attention-demanding job
• play an excessive amount of computer or video games, or consider yourself a "gamer"
• don't have a lot of free time that you're willing to put into a relationship with me
• are an alien from somewhere other than Mars

Then I'm not going to be interested in you. So we can both save us time by having you stop here. However if everything sounds good, you can continue reading.

So ANYWAY, if you're still interested in me and think I would be interested in you... I can get to talking about myself now.

This is gonna be really random and unorganized. Sorry. I was never good at organization when it came to my writings. I'm just gonna spew my mind. And you better ****ing love it. ;) First thing you should know about me is that I have a strong personality and can definitely be difficult at times. It can be intimidating at first. I'm not exactly the most friendly of people. I'm very blunt and honest and keep shit real. I hate when people call themselves "real," but it's really the best way to describe me. I feel like most chicks feel that way about themselves, but if you ask anyone that knows me they would probably say that is how they would describe me. I'm a bit of a homebody, or at least I try to be. I like my downtime, I like to relax, and I probably need more time to myself than most. I would rather stay at home than constantly be out doing something. It overwhelms me easily. And when I am regularly active I have to take the time to relax afterwards. I can't just keep going and going. And I don't like being impulsive and spontaneous. I'm not shy by any means, but I do like my alone time. Thank God for the Internet to keep me social when I'm not out. And thank God for the Internet for finding me my man.

Praise Satan.

I'm a really open and honest person. I never lie. I can't lie. I can't stand people who can't be honest and lie. I have no tolerance for lies or liars. You lie to me and you're done. Period. Lie to me and I'll chop your ****ing balls off. Or whatever extremities you have down there. And even people who don't necessarily like me at least commend the fact that I'm always honest. I've been told I'm a trustworthy person. I'm easy to talk to and while that goes against me saying that I can come off intimidating, you'll see what I mean. And with that said I have no problem answering whatever questions you have for me. Don't worry about being offensive.

I can be a huge bitch. Shocker. I'm controlling, I have trust issues, and as I've said before, I can be difficult at times. And while I do enjoy having control over certain things - I also want a guy who knows what he wants. Maybe even be a bit aggressive. I just hate passive guys. I want to know what you want. If you're indifferent to things most of the time like I am, that's fine. But when you want something I want to know. And I want you to really want it. If I had to describe the kind of guy I'm interested in, I would say I'm looking for a guy who is aggressive yet submissive. Know what you want and want it, but be a gentleman, and let me have what I want when I want it. I want you to care about what I want and I want you to want to put what I want before what you want. I'm giving myself a headache with this but it's making sense I promise. While I enjoy being in control, that doesn't mean I want to be in control over everything all the time. But when I do want control over something, I expect to get it. If I don't explicitly say what I want or that I want control, then it's not important to me. I usually come off to people as pretty cold or lack empathy. I guess I usually am that way with strangers. But I always stay down to earth, and I try to not be that way to people I know and care about.

There are very few people/things in my life at the moment that I can honestly say I love and care for. However, when I do love and care for someone, it's deeply. When I feel that way about someone I am 100% loyal to them and are as compassionate as I can be. I value loyalty a lot. I think deep down inside I am a hopeless romantic. I have been in love and have experienced serious relationships. I can't get with a guy who doesn't know how to love. I've dated guys that just never warm up to me even though I know they are interested in me. I need to feel that spark. It can be difficult for me to express myself like that unless I'm with a guy who is already open with his feelings. I try to be as open like that as I can because I know it's mutually helpful. But when I find a guy who wears his heart on his sleeves it makes everything so much easier for me. Because for me, it's the little things that count. I want someone who can be straight forward with his feelings and not be ashamed to express them. I want someone who loves me to tell me they love me. If you're cold and unemotional, I won't be able to have that strong connection with you and there will be no romance or spark. It's like there's that brick wall that just won't come down. I can't waste time on men like that hoping things change.

I don't enjoy going on dates. When I get to know a guy, I kinda just... get to know him, as a friend I guess you could say. In an informal way. To be clear I am obviously looking for more than just a friendship. But no relationship can stand on its own without a solid friendship. We need to be each others' best friends. I've always seen a relationship as two best friends who **** and love each other. And it's true. For me, casually dating is a waste of time and money. I don't need to go on a 'date' in order to get a feel for a guy. I just wanna talk to him, like normal. I like getting right to the point, and I don't want to beat around the bush when it comes to dating and relationships.

I don't care much for small talk with strangers. I don't like to be asked how I am and stuff like that, when it's just for the sake of making conversation. Like I've said... get to the point. Now obviously when we're comfortable with each other that's perfectly fine. But there has to be more initially. I do enjoy having deep, meaningful conversations. And like answering questions, both deep or superficial. And when I ask things like that they're usually super random questions. When most people ask me what I do in my spare time, I generally say "nothing" and they take answers like that and assume I'm either lying or don't want to answer them. Well no, I really do do nothing in my spare time. I like doing nothing. It's wonderful. Try it some time. If I didn't want to talk to you you'd know it. I'm straight forward. What you see is what you get. You very rarely have to try and guess how I feel about something. And if you're not sure, feel free to just ask for clarification. I would so much rather have you ask me something than assume whatever it is. Odds are if you have to assume you're probably wrong anyway.

I'm likely not one of those people who are going to make the first move. I don't message guys on here. I fully expect guys to take control over getting to know me. You have to initiate things like that. If you can't do that, to me it's like you're not even interested in me. If you're seriously interested in me you shouldn't be missing any opportunities to do so. I need someone who is willing to make the effort to get to know me. What's the quote... "We put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down." I need someone who is willing to go that extra mile with me to assure me they really are interested. I want a guy who knows what he wants - and I want a guy who wants me.

I can usually tell right off the bat whether I can get along with someone or not. I used to think I was psychic, no joke. But I realized that I'm just very intuitive and can read people very well. I am good at reading between the lines. And it's not easy to get lies past me. And if you think you did you will be mistaken soon enough. I'm never oblivious to things you think I am. I'm very self-aware. Because of all that, it's probably why I'm really controlling. They go hand-in-hand, really. But because I'm that way, I'm also very understanding. I can be judgmental about some things, but for the most part I'm not. I don't want someone to hide things from me in fear that I'm going to judge them because of it. I need someone who is comfortable with being completely open with me. Because it helps me know that you really are interested in me, and trust me. If I feel like you don't trust me, then I can't trust you. I gotta have the guy put his wall down in order for me to put mine down. If not then we won't be able to really connect.

I've been through a lot of shit in my life. From stalkers to people trying to kill me. I could go on and on and you wouldn't believe me. Because of my strong personality, and probably appearance, I've had my fair share of harassment, stalkers, hackings, and people using my identity. I don't want to get into specifics and I'll gladly tell you all about these things at an appropriate time. My dating profile bio isn't the place. I'm always dealing with people who feel they need to be rude to me in order to get some kind of rise out of me. People just love to hate me, I think is what it comes down to. It sucks. But at the same time, I don't let stuff like that affect me. I'm not a weak person and I know that the shit people might say about me or the way someone might treat me is bogus. I have absolutely no problem standing up for myself. I'm quite confrontational. Not to be cliche but, while I don't start shit, I'm always going to finish it one way or the other. I'm not someone who is going to allow a person to **** with me and let them get away with it. I don't believe in karma, I believe in revenge. And I promise you, revenge is much more satisfying than waiting for something like karma.

I have a really dark and evil sense of humor. There isn't much that's off limits with me. I take stuff like that lightly. I don't get offended easily and I often say and do things that are offensive to some people. I hate people who get butthurt over shit super easily. And that really sucks because of my strong personality. People assume I'm just being a bitch. Well no, I'm not. That's just how I am. i don't sugar coat things that I have to say. I'm one of those people who are really good when it comes to giving advice. I don't let all the bullshit get in the way of the reality of things. I love that quote... "Recently, someone accused me of being insensitive. And I thought, how did this fat bitch get her wheelchair up the stairs to my house?" You either love me or you hate me, that's really what it comes down to. There isn't much in between with me. But at the end of the day, nothing I ever say is meant to be harmful or personal. I don't go out of my way to be mean. Sometimes stuff that I say can come off like that, but that's not my intention. I really have no reason to be blatantly mean like that unless it's in a joking manner. Mentally weak people aren't going to last long with me, unless you really have a good grasp on what kind of person I am.

I don't want kids. I don't even like kids. And I have no plans on changing my opinion on the matter. I value my body and money too much to allow having children to impact either of those things. I'd rather have pets than children. Could this change in the future as I get older? Oh sure, anything is possible. But it's unlikely and I'm telling you now it probably won't happen. I don't have any desire to leave any kind of legacy behind, like children, when I die. It's just not of importance to me. I would rather give all my love to my significant other than children. I'm also kind of indifferent about marriage. I'm not against marriage, it's just not really important to me to get married. If I do get married, I would be in no rush to do so. The way I see it is, I don't need a piece of legal paper and a big expensive ceremony to prove my love to someone. If I do get married I would want it to be very low-key. I feel like all marriage does is complicates things if the relationship goes sour.

I'm a grammar nazi. Grammar whore. Whatever you wanna call it. I value good grammar. I don't like someone who can't articulate themselves properly. I'll beat you at Scrabble. That's not a challenge, that's a fact. While I'm not going to nit pick every single mistake you make, I have no problem correcting you from time to time as necessary. Just don't get offended by it, please. I'm only trying to help better yourself.

I'm sure I have average intelligence. I don't know what my IQ is, and I've never taken any such tests, but even if I weren't very book smart - I'm "people" smart. Common sense is my thing. Like I said earlier I'm really intuitive and that helps a lot. I don't need a guy who is a rocket scientist, but at the same time, I want you to be able to keep up with me. If you're stupid, you'll probably just annoy me. Stupid people annoy me.

With that said, I'm very easily annoyed. A lot of things annoy me. I'm not gonna sit here and list things. But at the same time, while I may be easily annoyed, I don't think I'm an angry person. It takes a lot to get me legitimately upset at someone. I do have a temper, but it's generally harmless. Usually if you do or say something that gets me upset, it's the end of us. I'm stubborn and I don't get over things easily. If I feel hurt by you, I won't be able to get over it. There's no turning back after that. And I'm not someone who gives second chances. You're lucky if you even get a first chance with me let alone a second one. There are too many other people out there who I would rather give a first chance to, than give someone who has ****ed me over, another one.

I'm awful at cooking. I'm fine with baking, however cooking stuff on the stove is not for me. I even manage to **** up simple stuff. And I'm a really picky eater. I eat like a 5 year old. I do try to go out of my way to eat healthier, but it's difficult for me because I don't like healthy food! I would starve if I had to become a vegetarian. And I would greatly like it if the guy I'm interested in has a similar diet to mine. I could never get with someone who doesn't eat meat. Plus I like having little things like that in common with my man. It makes good for small chat. Sad, but true. Little things like coffee or tea or whatever. I like both. It's hard not to be able to discuss things like that with my partner. I mean it isn't a deal breaker but it sucks.

I'm really knowledgeable when it comes to computer stuff. I've been using computers for over a decade, you kinda learn a thing or two after that long. And I enjoy helping people fix their computers or make them better. Not sure why, it's just a fun hobby of mine. It's shocking how many people don't take care of their computers, and it's shocking how many people don't know about little things that can improvement so much. I'm usually that person people go to when they have issues with those kinds of things. If you're having any issues with your computer I'd love to help. I probably offer "services" that companies charge a ridiculous amount for. Shit I could probably do something like that for a living, but I really have no desire to make money off of it. It's just fun for me. I also enjoy editing photos. I've thought about doing it professionally because I'm pretty good at it, but I don't think I'm THAT good. For me, it's mostly just something I enjoy doing in my free time.

Alright, enough talking about myself. I should probably now get into what kinda stuff I look for in a guy. I hope you haven't fallen asleep yet. It's difficult for me to talk about the kind of guys I like because while I like to think I have a type, I really don't. And I don't like to get too specific and think that just because you're not who I'm looking for, that means I wouldn't like you. Unless you're any of the things I explicitly said I DON'T like, you have no reason to think that I couldn't possibly like you. If you have the word "boring" anywhere in your self-summary in reference to yourself odds are you're exactly what I want. :)

I like men who are nice, sweet, romantic, laid back, loyal, humble, honorable, gentlemen, loving, understanding, intelligent, decisive, straight forward, respectful, stable, predictable, expressive, giving, thoughtful, all while somehow coming off as a complete asshole otherwise. That pretty much sums up my future man. Oh and you have to be delicious. I mean I couldn't be with a guy that tasted bad, sheesh.

Like I said before I'm not into religious nutjobs. Even if you have faith in a religion but it isn't part of your life, that's too much for me. I mean that's pretty much it as far as that goes. I've already covered the kids part as well earlier. And for friends... well, from my experience, nothing good ever comes from my partner's friends. I kinda don't really know how else to explain it. I just don't like my man to have friends. Simple as that. Maybe if something more comes to mind I'll come back and update this with a better reason. There probably is a reason but I'm tired right now and I don't feel like putting too much thought into it. I want someone who wants to be with ME, not their friends. And the odds of me liking their friends are really slim. What if I end up hating one of them, or they hate me? That could be very volatile given my strong personality. And then I would probably end up resenting you for being friends with them because of that... blah blah blah. You get the idea.

I don't want a manwhore. I don't sleep around. Sex means more to me than just getting off. I don't hook up with guys. If I have sex with someone, it's someone that means something to me. I want someone who is similar in that aspect as me. I don't want someone who is OK with hooking up with chicks. And the amount of partners you've had DOES matter to me. But at the same time, while I don't hook up with guys, I'm a very sexual person. I masturbate regularly. Love porn. Love all aspects of sexuality, and I'm really open when it comes to it. Again, I want someone who is similar to that. Just 'cause I'm not into guys who have sex with just anyone, that doesn't mean I want a prude either. I need a happy medium. I want someone who I don't have to worry about going behind my back to hook up with people, but at the same time, I want someone who can still keep my interest. I need a guy who is open in the bedroom, as I'm open to just about anything. Inhibitions are a big turn off. But I'm not gonna go into too much detail. I will say that I am very fascinated by sexuality and people's sex lives. lol

I want a guy who is laid back. I want a guy who knows how to be in control, but also know when to sit back and allow me to be in control when I want to. I want someone who is aggressive and knows what he wants. But above all I want him to know that I come first. If I want something my way, it's going to be my way, and I expect it to be my way. I don't like when guys give resistance. I want a guy who will listen to me and actually take what I say seriously. You could say I want a pushover. But not in the typical sense. I don't want a guy with no balls at all. I want the guy to wear the pants in the relationship. He just has to be ok with allowing me to control the zipper. And brand... and style......

As far as looks go, I honestly don't really care. I guess I prefer larger guys. I like stocky guys. And I like hairier guys. I don't like skinny guys. I like my men to look like men, not a little boy. But at the same time I'm actually really NOT shallow at all, and your physical appearance is not going to be a deal breaker for me. Unless I'm simply utterly repulsed by you, which is very very unlikely. I also really don't care about dick size. And that isn't a lie. It just isn't something that is important to me. I'm not difficult to please sexually by any means. I also have a thing for bald guys. And I usually like darker features. But it depends on the guy. Some guys can pull certain things off, some guys can't. I also don't really like guys who work out. For some reason it's a huge turn off for me. Not the fact that you have muscles (though I actually don't really like muscles), but just the thought of you actually taking the time to work on your body like that.. I dunno, it's just a turn off for me. I can't really explain it. So I would prefer it if you weren't someone who works out regularly.

I hate it when guys think that I'm out of their league. Sadly the kind of guys who think that, are usually my type. I mean if you think you fit what I'm looking for, what do you have to lose? At least give it a shot. If I'm not interested, well shit, it happens. I would rather you take a shot and find out you're not what I'm looking for than you not take a shot at all. It's super frustrating. Because usually guys think I wouldn't be interested in them for all the WRONG reasons. They take into consideration the superficial reasons, and like I said I'm not superficial at all. I mean I am picky and I do know what I want, but you're not gonna know if you're what I want or not if you don't at least try. If you're still reading this far and got past my initial stuff the odds of you being someone I'm interested in are decent. Then again you could just be purely fascinated with who I am as a person. If that's the case, cool... just don't hit me up.

There are of course certain things that I'm willing to look past, but it's kind of important to me that the guy I'm interested in has simliar taste in TV shows, music, movies - stuff like that. Things we would be able to share and discuss and experience together. I like sharing every aspect of my life and in order for that to work, we have to have a lot in common. If we don't have a lot in common, even if the foundation of a good relationship is there, it just won't work out. Sometimes you need more than just the good foundation.

I don't like guys who go out and party all the time. Or at all for that matter. While I would greatly prefer you were NEVER that kind of person, I would understand if you got that out of your system when you were younger and you've simply just grown out of it. That would be the situation I'm in. I'm over all that immature shit. I want a mature guy. Not someone who enjoys going out and doing all that kinda stuff for fun. That's not even fun in my eyes. I'm a homebody. I don't go out much like that. I don't want you to either. Simple as that.

There's plenty more that I 'look' for in a guy, however I'm not gonna sit here and spill my guts about everything. Even though it probably seems like I did. If I do that you're just going to end up trying to mold yourself around who you think I want you to be. Whether that be consciously or subconsciously. I want you to be who you are, and I want to like you for who you are. I'm not here to try and change a guy and I don't want to try and change a guy. And if you're gonna try and make yourself seem like you're who I would be interested in, when really you're not.. it's obviously not going to work out in the long run, so don't waste either of our time.

I know I can be tough at times but if you can work around my personality and can understand who I am as a person, I can assure you I'm not as bad as I may have lead myself to seem.
I’m really good at
I'm kind of good at everything, frankly. I'm one of those people. I know you hate me for that already but it's true. Also, I'm really good at pissing people off. I don't even really have to do anything besides be myself and it bothers a lot of people. I don't mind it all that much because it's funny and entertaining at the same time, so it's not all bad. A little discouraging though when it isn't intentional.
The first things people usually notice about me
I don't really get the point of this section, considering this is a dating website. How about YOU tell me what you first see? I mean if I had to answer this I guess I would say my eyes or smile. But let's be real, it's probably the tits. Though I do get complimented on the eyes and smile a lot.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't read.

Movies, I enjoy comedy and horrors the most. But I'm really stubborn when it comes to movies, so I probably don't watch as many as I'd like to.

As far as TV shows go, I love reality TV. The Real Housewives seasons, Bad Girls Club, and the 'wives' series on VH1 are my fav. But I also like regular shows, such as Dexter, Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad, Desperate Housewives, Storage Wars, Ghost Adventures, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Nip/Tuck, Family Guy, American Dad, The Simpsons, South Park, Futurama... I'm sure I'm missing some more, but that's a general run-down.

Movies and TV shows are pretty important in terms of compatibility, because I enjoy spending time with my partner watching and discussing them. So if you're not digging my taste in either, that's going to be a pretty big bump in the road.

Music, honestly I like everything except for most older music. I mostly listen to hip hop but it really depends on my mood. However older music, electronic music.. you know what I'm not even going to bother trying to think of more to list. But yeah I don't really care for those. Like I said, it really depends on my mood.

And as far as food goes, I'm an EXTREMELY picky eater. I didn't even like cheese up until a few months ago. I also eat pretty bad, I'll admit it. If it's healthy for you I probably won't like it hahaha. I eat like a child. Burgers, chicken nuggets and french fries. I also love pizza. I'm not someone who enjoys going out to restaurants and fine dining.
The six things I could never do without
I've always hated this question, but I don't think I've ever legitimately tried to seriously answer it. So let's give it a shot.

1. iPhone. You get Brittney points if you also have one.
2. My laptop. I don't think I need to explain that further.
3. A man in my life. I always have to have a guy in my life, that I can be with, talk to, etc. If I don't have that person, then I'm actively looking for that person. Which is probably why you're reading my profile right now!
4. I guess I'll go with a car, I mean that is pretty necessary.
5. Now I'm stuck so I'll have to get creative. And considering I'm not at all creative this probably won't turn out so well. **** this.
6. I'm just going to say penis.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Everything. I'm also quite random and when I'm in the mood I can ramble a lot. If you got to know me you would understand what I'm talking about. Most people wonder why the hell I'm telling them what I'm telling them. I just like to converse. Keeps me busy. If you're the same way then we'll have no problems. But if you're one of those people who over-think everything I say I'll probably get annoyed very quickly and eventually push you away for not letting me be myself. I'm a deep thinker, I guess I'm a "deep" person in general. I'm passionate. But to answer this question in a more traditional sense, there isn't a whole lot I think about. I guess my future and all the obvious stuff like that. But that should be obvious. Everyone always puts obvious shit in this box.
On a typical Friday night I am
Usually at home. I'm not really the kind of person who likes to go out and drink or do much. I guess I'm more of a homebody now. And am only interested in the same. If you still enjoy going out and drinking or doing silly things like that, you probably aren't mature enough yet for my taste. And if you disagree with that statement, then you're exactly the kind of person I would not be interested in.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't know. I'm not good at answering these things because I'm usually open about everything. I'm not very private at all, actually. I like to share everything with my partner, or at least SOMEONE. It's probably an attention thing. I also don't like guys who are private. It usually means they have something to hide. And if they don't, it doesn't matter - it will still appear to me that you're trying to hide something. And if you're private, the whole time I'm with you, I will just be thinking about what you're doing behind my back, or what you're trying to hide. So I won't be able to trust you. It's just not a good thing. Don't be private.
You should message me if
You like what my profile has to offer, and most importantly, if you think I would still be interested in you. I know exactly what I want and I feel like I've described exactly what I want on here. If that's not you, sorry. But I'm not going to settle for anything less. But out of respect please don't send me ridiculous messages that are irrelevant to us getting to know each other. Also don't write me some super general message essentially just saying you're interested in me. Keep reading and you'll see what I'm looking for in your message. I want you to tell me everything. And don't message me if all you have are questions as to why I look for what I do. If I'm not interested in you, leave it at that. Honestly I don't care enough to satisfy your inquiries. And don't message me to solely tell me that I'm attractive and that I wouldn't like you. And finally I would like to add, that if you include a link to your Facebook in your message, the chance of me responding will greatly go up. I hate the anonymity of dating websites. I need to know you're a real person, not a username on OkCupid. Seems to be an issue for some people, but all I want to know is who you are. It's Facebook, not your SSN.

So, when you message me you should tell me:

• your name
• your Facebook URL
• how long you've been single
• a rough estimate of how many women, if any, you've met from a dating website (by met I mean in person)
• when your last "date" was, and a brief explanation as to why it didn't work out
• opinion on "friends with benefits"? Any history with it?
• when's the last time you made out with someone?
• when your last sexual encounter took place (ANY kind, not necessarily strictly vaginal sex. Though I suppose you could specify if otherwise)
• how many girls (or guys as well I guess?) have touched your penis (if any) (I would ask how many people you've slept with but apparently there are some really strange people out there who don't consider stuff like oral sex, sex. So asking this question gives me a more general answer. If you find this one to be a little personal, I understand, but I would still like to know, and I see no reason to either lie or not answer. It won't make or break you)
• how many vaginas have you touched?
• is there anything you like to do, regularly? Hobbies or anything like that? What takes up your time, if not work?
• what's your living situation? (alone? room mates? house? apt? rent? own? etc.)
• if you have any notable debt?
• if you have or have ever had any type of STD?
• what you're hoping to get out of messaging me, maybe a prediction of what the future could hold with us
• also, as an extension to that last point, if you aren't local (if you are then this doesn't apply), how do you see this working out in the long run in terms of distance?

Putting your answers into complete sentences helps a lot.

And after that, give me a list (if any) of reasons why I might NOT like you. And don't give me the bullshit reasons. Get right down to it. My profile states EXACTLY what I want, so you should know by now what I wouldn't like. No reason for you to hold back and waste either of our time. If there's something I wouldn't like about you, I would like to know now before we begin to get to know each other, so I can gauge whether or not it's worth looking past, or if I even CAN look past it.

Of course you can message me with whatever extra you like, but this is a good foundation to start with. I realize it comes across as uh... weird, but I see nothing too extreme about what I'm asking here. I want to know who you are, and what you're like, without wasting a month of my time to find out these basic things. I'm not the type of person to buy a car without looking at the Carfax, let's put it that way. I'm trying to put some logic and order into online dating, rather than jumping into something without any background at all.

..and make sure you've at least answered, at LEAST a few hundred questions on this site. Otherwise our match percentage is likely inaccurate. I put a lot of faith into the matching system on here. It's more accurate than you would think, and has worked well for me."
 

zerocool

Douchy McDoucherson
Established Member
Joined
Sep 18, 2005
Messages
6,156
Location
TTU
Good lord. I guess there has to be a reason that someone who looks like that would be on a dating website. What a crazy bitch.
 

svtfocus2cobra

Opprimere, Velocitas, Violentia Operandi
Established Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2004
Messages
26,222
Location
Washington
I actually haven't read the whole thing because I had to stop. But I just skimmed through the bullet points towards the end and a whole new level of "WTF!?" came out! Haha.
 

MystiChrome Coupe

Active Member
Established Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2002
Messages
2,935
Location
OHIO
Damn. I only read a fraction of it. Crazy.

And to think that is the reworked bio because the other one put her in a bad light, LMAO.
 

Users who are viewing this thread



Top